Tonight’s a big night if you’re into eating and drinking at the public’s expense.

Not content with awarding beaten former council leader Paul Waggott Freedom of the Borough, the local Labour party held an exclusive £50 a head bash to celebrate his time on the council. This disgraceful ‘theft’ from the public purse cost the taxpayer over £2500.

To rub salt in the wounds, the local Labour party and South Tyneside Council have now decided to present Mr Waggott with a commemorative scroll at an invitation only ceremony in the Town Hall tonight. After the formal presentation there will be a party for all the borough’s scroungers, paid for out of the public purse, and you can be sure that food and drink will be in plentiful supply as long as you can keep councillor Gibson away from the food and Jimmy Sewell away from the beer.

Here’s a word of warning for all you greedy bastards who love nothing more than feeding your face and getting pissed at the public’s expense, Mr Monkey will be at tonight’s bash and will be keeping a close eye on you all .. and tomorrow the world will know what a bunch of bloodsuckers you really are.

Mr Monkey almost forgot; make sure councillor McAtominey gets a taxi!