04
Mar
09

EXclusive: Gollum and Aunt Sally’s ‘love’ hideawy revealed

'Councillors Ed Malcolm and Olive Punchion's weekend love nest'

'Councillors Ed Malcolm and Olive Punchion's weekend love nest'

The Gollum of South Tyneside politics, councillor Ed Malcolm has had a tough few weeks preparing for his big day, presenting the council’s budget.

A source close to Gollum has told Mr Monkey that as budget day approached his nerves were in tatters and he resorted to medication to calm himself down, but whatever he took didn’t stop him making a twat of himself and fluffing his lines.

Apparently on one occasion Aunt Sally, aka Olive Punchion – who spent years cheating on her husband to get in to Gollum’s nappy pants – came to his rescue by bringing him a glass of water. That made things worse as he lost his concentration and started stuttering his lines.

Mr Monkey has learned that Gollum and his scarecrow, Aunt Sally decided that after a difficult few weeks it was time to get away from it all and recharge their batteries in a plush and intimate location.

This chimp can exclusively reveal that the ‘odd couple’ spent  last weekend at one of their favourite hideaways – The Royal County hotel in Durham.

A quick look at the Marriott Hotel website confirms that Gollum, aka councillor Ed Malcolm and Aunt Sally, aka councillor Olive Punchion enjoy living it up in these difficult economic times, apparently rooms start at around £130 a night.

Mr Monkey wonders what the hard pressed people of Biddick Hall and Simonside and Rekendyke will make of this?


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