Archive for the 'Alcoholic' Category



13
May
09

tory councillor David Potts £12,000 expense claims

After yesterday’s pronouncements by the Conservative leader David Cameron concerning the dodgy expense claims of some of his colleagues i.e pay back the money or risk being booted out of the party, Mr Monkey can’t help wondering when councillor David Potts, the local Conservative group leader will join the newly formed  alliance of spineless progressives and the outcasts, who apparently want to be known as The Progressive Party and The Association on non Aligned Independent Councillors?

Regular readers of this blog will remember this post CLICK HERE

"After claiming nearly £12,000 in expenses he still can't afford a pair of sunglasses"

"After claiming nearly £12,000 in expenses he still can't afford a pair of sunglasses"

about councillor Potts record expense claim in 2005 when he claimed more than £2,251 – most of it was spent on First Class rail travel which just happened to be around the same time he claimed he was studying at Cambridge.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that councillor Potts has gone that extra mile in the last 12 months (2008 – 09) and has set another record by claiming a whooping  £3,393 in travel expenses and subsistence.

Interestingly this claim also coincides with the period that councillor Potts had been selected as the Conservative candidate to challenge Alistair Darling in Edinburgh – that is until Mr Monkey put paid to his political ambitions by revealing the sleazy alcohol fuelled antics of councillor Potts.

This chimp reckons that the people of South Tyneside unwittingly paid for his campaign jollies and will be stunned to learn that the council allowed him to get away with it.

Mr Monkey can also reveal that councillor Potts, who is allegedly in opposition has one of the worst attendance records on South Tyneside council,  but he’s still managed to claim nearly £12,000 in travel and subsistence since his election in late 2004.

This chimp reckons it’s time David Cameron turned his attention to some of his colleagues in local government, especially those who are blatantly ripping off the taxpayer with their exaggerated and probably fraudulent expense claims.

.. and Mr Monkey certainly intends to bring councillor Potts dubious expense claims to his attention.

05
May
09

a sinking ship or wishful thinking?

Message to Graham Rigg and David Potts (I know they’re avid readers of this blog, so they’ll see this)

Over the past few days, Graham Rigg and David Potts have been having a right old time of it while Mr Monkey has been busy moving house.

Rigg, with plenty of time on his hands as an unemployed man whose been a bit of a failure in life (still in an upstairs flat in your mid 50s, Graham? There are crisis loans for things like that…) has thrown some horrific slurs his way.

But let us not forget: with more members than any of the other opposition groups, they’re still the biggest opposition group. They’re THE political success story in this borough’s history.

No political party has came anywhere near achieving their kind of success in modern times in South Tyneside.

The Tories have three councillors, as do the Lib Dems. The Tories havemade NO gains during David Potts tenure as leader, despite Labour disintegrating nationally over the past five years. Surely questions have to be asked about his competence?

The Progressives, once a dominant political force in the borough, have just five councillors and their hanging on by their finger tips. Take Jim Capstick he scrapped through by just three votes at the last elections.

So tell us, which group/party is doing things wrong…

I personally believe that Rigg and Potts hate the Independent Alliance because they don’t believe in democracy. They believe candidates should be vetted by old school parties, given the nod by party chiefs, and then step forward for election. It’s an insiders world, and they want it to stay that way.

Take councillor Ahmed Khan for instance, they don’t believe a member of the public, (A BLASTED OUTSIDER!) unsoiled by previous political roles, should stand and be duly elected. They don’t want to see the local political gentleman’s club fall apart, worse still their cosy little world being exposed for all to see.

Well Mr Monkey has news for Rigg, Potts and the ruling elite; there are more ‘councillor Khan’s’ on the way.

The Independents are still the official opposition group on the council. The Progressives also vote alongside them. They’re still close. They are a force to be reckoned with.

If you want confirmation of this go to the next council meeting on 12th May. You’re certain to see the Independent Alliance doing the job they were elected to do – oppose the ruling party. On the other hand you’ll see the Tories happily accepting a few tit-bits (PAID OF COURSE), handed out by Labour in a desperate attempt to buy their loyalty for the next 12 months.

Despite what Rigg says, since when have political groups standing in tinpot local elections had to have extensive manifestos and policies?

If so, point me in the direction of the weighty manifestos put forward by local councillors at the last election…You can’t – you’re talking bullshit. They put out double-sided A5 leaflets outlining how they’d improved their wards – they didn’t put out 20-year plans for tourism and business in the town.

At local level it’s about sound money, sound running of the council, competence, honesty and integrity. With a leader and deputy leader who’ve been big business successes themselves, I trust them to do just that.

Why aren’t they that forthcoming about what they “would” do? Probably because there’s no chance of them forming an executive to run the council for two or three years. So why live in fantasy land when they can tell the public what they’ll OPPOSE. When they’re close to seeing the opposition make it into power, they’ll tell the public what they’ll do. If the public like it, they’ll keep on voting. If they don’t, watch them lose their seats.

Just one question, Curly – do you ever get in touch with people you’re about to slur to ask for their take on your inaccurate claims?

Thought not.

Graham Rigg – sniggered at by Labour bosses, loathed by Independents, tolerated reluctantly by Tories.

'Amateur, photographer, amateur blogger, failed politician and general all round misfit desperate to be loved’

'Amateur, photographer, amateur blogger, failed politician and general all round misfit desperate to be loved’

28
Apr
09

a pair of twits!

Seems councillors Khan and Potts are set to continue their rivalry outside the council chamber as the King of Sleaze, Tory Boy David Potts has taken a leaf out of the Indy councillor’s book and has become a twat twit.

But a quick look at Pudgy Faces twitters confirms what most people already know – he’s obsessed with money and couldn’t careless about the people he represents.  In 2 days he’s tweeted 29 times and there’s only one mild reference to his work as a councillor.

Mr Monkey reckons bloggers should keep a close eye on these 2 twittering councillors as it will be interesting to see whether councillor Potts takes councillor Khan up on his offer for a cup of coffee.

Alternatively councillor Khan could pop into the Atlantic Bar around 10am any day of the week, he’s bound to bump into The King of Sleaze enjoying his usual liquid breakfast of a couple of glasses of red wine!

These 2 twits can be found at, http://twitter.com/CouncillorKhan and http://twitter.com/DavidPotts101

11
Mar
09

vodka lil will be fucked tonight

Vodka Lil, aka councillor Eileen Leask who knows how to fiddle the benefits system but doesn’t know what day of the the week it is when she’s had a couple of vodkas will be well and truly fucked tonight – not by Peter – he’s got no balls.

For bloggers who are not familiar with councillor Leask, aka Vodka Lil she’s one of 2 Labour councillors in Horlsey Hill, the other one is Miss Piggy, aka council leader Iain Malcolm.

Councillor Leask has a reputation for being a total piss head and is one of those people that no one wants to know when she’s drunk. Her behaviour is outrageous and she’s an embarrassment to those unfortunate enough to be in her company.

This fuckwit also has a reputation for being brain dead and is referred to as thick twat by some of her colleagues.

Despite all this baggage, her ward colleague, council leader Iain Malcolm has bought her loyalty by giving her the chair of the Tyne and Wear Pensions committee which is responsible for billions of pounds worth of pension assets. The position carries a yearly allowance of nearly £10,000 and is renowned for its freebies and junkets.

Mr Monkey has learned that the Pensions committee has spent the last 3 days on a junket in the South of England and will be returning to Newcastle – via first class rail travel – later tonight. Apparently the poor bastards are fucked tired following 3 days of over eating, drinking and being entertained at the publics expense.

Mr Monkey hopes Vodka Lil is going to declare this holiday to the Benefits Agency?

05
Mar
09

Potts Bats For Both Sides .. And Not Just Politically

'Love is in the air'

'Love is in the air'

For months the King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts has been obsessed with unmasking the chimp behind Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Poor old Pudgy Face – little did he know that he came within a whisker of revealing the person behind the monkey on Tuesday night when he and his male ‘friend’ enjoyed an intimate meal at  Brunnelos No 5 restaurant, above the Wheatsheaf pub in Boldon.

Mr Monkey nearly choked on his starter when The King of Sleaze and his male companion entered the restaurant. They had a couple of pre-dinner drinks before siting down for their meal. They left about an hour later but Mr Monkey couldn’t see whether they were holding hands or not.

It seems councillor Potts has alot more in common with council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy than this chimp first thought – they’re both fond of faggots.

28
Feb
09

twat of the week

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

Mr Monkey should have known that finding a ‘Twat of The Week’ was always going to be difficult once this picture of David ‘Birdman’ MacLean appeared, CLICK HERE. 

What this chimp didn’t realise was that there would be so many twats worthy of the title.

Contenders for this coveted award are:

  • Karen Allen - for thinking a Tory has a chance of getting elected in South Shields.
  • John Szymanski - for handing over editorial control of the Shields Gazette to his paymaster Iain Malcolm.
  • The King of Sleaze, David Potts - for presenting the Tories budget whilst pissed.
  • ‘Big’ Ed Malcolm - for confirming what the world already knows; he’s a blithering, stuttering idiot with the intelligence of a slug.
  • The Patron Slut of Sailors, aka Audrey McMillan - who this week realised there’s no local election until 2010.
  • Wilma Waggott, aka Linda - for remembering she represets Boldon Colliery and not Bede.
  • Victor ‘is anyone home’ Thompson - for remembering what day of the week full council is held on.
  • Mr Miserable, aka Tom Defty - for confirming what everyone knew, he’s joined the Real Independents because George ‘Red Rum’ Elsom promised to pay for his Christmas cards.
  • Vodka Lil, aka Eileen Leask - for listening to council leader Iain Malcolm who convinced her to resign as a governor of Bamburgh School.

and the winner is .. Big Ed Malcolm.

25
Feb
09

Vodka Lil Hits the bottle

Vodka Lil, aka councillor Eileen Leask, the other Labour stooge for Horsley Hill has resigned as a Governor at Bamburgh Special School – apparently for ‘personal’ reasons.

Mr Monkey has been told that Iain Malcolm played an absolute blinder by timing his announcement of a change of heart on the SEN review with Vodka Lil’s resignation and this chimp reckons Vodka Lil is set to be Miss Piggy’s scapegoat.

Sources close to council leader Miss Piggy have told Mr Monkey on many occasions that Vodka Lil will be sacrificed at the next election and is likely to be replaced by the 5 times married Arthur Meeks who lost his seat to Indy councillor Gordon Finch.

Parents at Bamburgh are already angry with councillor Leask who they believe has sided with Miss Piggy and his Labour piglets. Apparently the pressure has got to this vodka slurping bitch and she’s been conned into believing she’s better off out of it. She’s been told it will improve her election chances and the stupid twat believed it.

Mr Monkey would like to remind Vodka Lil that the only person her resignation will help is Arthur Meeks who Iain Malcolm is determined to bring back in to the fold.




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