Mr Monkey popped into his local for a swift one last night and caught a glimpse of Britains Got Talent – seems the whole country is obsessed with reality tv shows.
This chimp couldn’t help noticing that one of last night’s semi finalist – a brother and sister team – looked as though they came straight from the set of Strictly Come Dancing as they performed a high octane ballroom dancing routine.
Mr Monkey mentioned that he thought it was a shame that more people did’nt take up ballroom dancing and to his surprise a number of locals admitted that they were taking lessons and that they’d been on a waiting list for several months before the could join a class.
What Mr Monkey heard next had this chimp falling about in fits of laughter and he almost choked on his beer.
Apparently councillor Ed Malcolm, aka ‘Big’ Ed and his long term slapper lover councillor Olive Punchion, aka Aunt Sally have been taking ballroom dancing lessons for several months and they’re still crap at it.
Mr Monkey reckons councillor Malcolm’s desire to become the belle off the ball may stem from his childhood fascination with dressing up dolls. Either that or he intends to marry Aunt Sally and wants to surprise his guests when the odd ‘happy couple’ perform the first dance.
The thought of Ed and Olive strutting their stuff on their wedding day is enough to give anyone a nightmare.
Imagine Aunt Sally, the 80 year old scarecrow clinging onto ‘Big’ Ed, the 4ft dwarf for all she’s worth? And what about Big Ed hugging Aunt Sally in a motherly embrace for comfort and security, and to stop him falling over - it’s a good job she’s past lactating or he’d be suckling her too.
But don’t worry Ed, whatever happens this chimp will be there to witness your big day, you have little choice but to invite him!