Archive for the 'Blogs' Category

28
Jul
09

highlights: public money used in an attempt to silence mr monkey

'Did the council leader use the public's piggy bank to silence his critics?'

'Did the council leader use the public's piggy bank to silence his critics?'

Mr Monkey’s has been reminiscing about the past year and has decided to re-post some of the year’s highlights for bloggers to enjoy and what better place to start than here?

Mr Monkey can reveal – thanks to a tip off – that South Tyneside Council has spent thousands of pounds of public money on legal advice in an attempt to shut down Mr Monkey’s Blog.

30
Jun
09

comment moderation on until 9pm tomorrow

Mr Monkey has received a request to apply comment moderation. Being the obliging chimp that he is, comment moderation has now been switched on until 9pm on Wednesday night.

29
Jun
09

silence of the chimps – part 2

Last week Mr Monkey revealed that a handful of senior councillors and council officers have become so obsessed with Mr Monkey’s Blog that they’ll stop at nothing to close it down – as long as they can pass the costs on to the taxpayer.

This chimp also told bloggers that the council has spent more than £30,000 on legal advice in an effort to silence the chimp. CLICK HERE. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal the council was told by the lawyers they consulted that if they wanted to pursue the chimp in the American courts the cost would be around £400,000 and that there was no guarantee of success.

They also told the council that if they managed to force WordPress – via the US courts – to reveal the IPaddress used by Mr Monkey to register his blog, this was only the beginning of a long and expensive legal process.

WordPress would only reveal the IP address, service provider i.e BT and the details used at the time of registration. The council would then need to go to court again – this time in the UK to get a court order to force BT to reveal the location of the IP address. Again this would not necessarily reveal the identity of Mr Monkey and they could end up being told that the IP address was registered to a wifi location in Middlesborough, Sunderland, Newcastle or Durham and that the person who registered with WordPress was could have used a false name.

Imagine what the public would say about a council who spends hundreds of thousands of pounds of taxpayers money chasing a monkey and all because the Chuckle Brothers can’t face the prospect of being labelled as a couple of scheming, lying, cheating and corrupt wankers.

This chimp can now confirm that the executive of the council refused to pursue this action on cost grounds and that their decision left the Chuckle Brothers feeling angry and frustrated.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that 10 weeks ago the same group of Labour councillors approached the executive and police again and this time they gave them the name of a person they belive is Mr Monkey, but unfortunately for them, the legal and police advice remains the same.

It seems that despite the Chuckle Brothers best efforts to silence Mr Monkey – Iain and Ed Malcolm are going to have to learn to live with this chimp who according to some experts may live up to 60 years!

24
Jun
09

silence of the chimps – part 1

It seems senior councillors and a handful of council officers have become so obsessed with Mr Monkey’s Blog that they’ll stop at nothing to close it down – as long as it doesn’t cost them anything.

It took just 2 weeks for these fuckwits to shit themselves at the prospects of being exposed for the corrupt, scheming and devious fraudsters that they really are.

Council leader Iain Malcolm acted quickly and ordered senior council officers to censor Mr Monkey’s Blog by barring access to it from council owned computers. In his eagerness to hide the truth from his own colleagues and officials he also barred access to another local blog.

The owner of the blog – the Fat Mackem Hobitt – begged councillor Malcolm to allow people to access his blog from council owned equipment and in return he agreed to do anything Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm asked of him.  CLICK HERE.

Unfortunately councillor Malcolm failed to realise that his actions would have the opposite effect and instead of putting an end to his ape like antics, Mr Monkey’s Blog became an overnight sensation and quickly established itself as South Tyneside’s premier political blog.

In December Mr Monkey told bloggers about the Malcolms attempts to get the police to close Mr Monkey’s Blog after they received a monkey Christmas card – apparently they were intimidated by it – but were told to stop wasting police time and that if they had any concerns it was a civil matter that had nothing to do with the police. CLICK HERE 

In April Mr Monkey revealed that he had received a tip off that the council had spent thousands of pounds on legal advice to find a way of shutting down Mr Monkey’s Blog CLICK HERE. 

After the initial visit to the police in December 2008 this same councillors lead by Iain Malcolm approached the executive of the council and ordered them to start legal proceedings against WordPress, via the courts, to reveal the account holders details and therefore reveal the identity of Mr Monkey. 

The council took professional legal advice from experts in internet and international law to determine what legal action could be taken against WordPress. They spent over £30,000 of public money and were told that any legal action against WordPress – who are based in the US – would have to be in the American courts and would be very costly.

They were also told that it was unlikely to succeed and if it did, they would not get the identity of Mr Monkey but only the IP address used by Mr Monkey when he registered with WordPress and this could have been done from anywhere including public places with wifi access.

… to be continued.

23
Jun
09

happy birthday mr monkey

Happy birthday Mr Monkey

Happy birthday Mr Monkey

It’s been a year since Mr Monkey first burst on to the local blogging scene with his controversial blog,  The Monkeyhouse

Regular bloggers will recall that The Monkeyhouse first opened it’s doors on an experimental basis on the 22nd June 2008 before moving to a more permanent home over at Mr Monkey’s Blog in late July 2008.

Mr Monkey promised to focus on political news and gossip in South Tyneside and claimed that he would “leave no stone unturned in an attempt to expose the truth behind the headlines and those who make them”.

What he didn’t realise is that those who make the headlines would shit themselves at the prospect of being exposed by this chimp and that they would stop at nothing in an effort to silence Mr Monkey.

Sorry to disappoint you fuckwits in the corridors of power, but despite your best efforts, Mr Monkey is still alive and kicking and unfortunately for you bastards – who only know how to lie, cheat, scheme and con the public – Mr Monkey has come a long way in a short space of time .. and this is just the beginning!

21
Jun
09

monkey clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to Lalon Amin of Bangla Awaz, the Labour party’s lackey and editor of the Malcolm Fanzine, Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local news snoozepaper and Ahmed Khan the ‘camera shy’ councillor who seems to love nothing more than a headline or two.

20
Jun
09

is the member for jarrow a peckish plonky?

'The memebr for Jarrow thinks the taxpayer should pay for his grocery bill'

'The memebr for Jarrow thinks the taxpayer should pay for his grocery bill'

It seems Jarrow MP Stephen Hepburn loves nothing more than a free feed and piss up at the taxpayers expense – maybe it’s a legacy from his days of being a South Tyneside councillor.

According to the Parliamentary expenses published yesterday, Mr Hepburn thinks that the taxpayer should pick up his grocery bill and he sees nothing wrong in claiming around £75 per week for food – last year the greedy bastard managed to fuck the taxpayer to the tune of £3,850 for his food bill alone.

His expenses also show that he claimed £450 for a washing machine and nearly £500 for a digital camera – which by coincidence happened to be bought a couple of weeks before Christmas – Mr Monkey reckons somebody probably got a canny Christmas present.

Mr Monkey also reckons that the taxpayer has been paying for his drinking habit under the guise of petty cash. Examination of Mr Hepburn’s claims reveal that he claimed £250 a month for ‘petty cash’. This is the monthly limit allowed and there’s no requirement to submit receipts.

This chimp can’t help wondering how he managed to claim exactly £250 month after month unless of course he was milking the system to feed his boozing habit – he can often be found on a Sunday afternoon pissed up in the Clock in Hebburn.

Maybe he should take a leaf out of David Miliband’s book and pay some of the money back?




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