mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

• Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
• Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
• Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
• Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
• Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
• Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
• ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
• Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
• Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
• Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
• Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself - in record time - this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present - Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever - that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

silence of the chimps – part 2

Last week Mr Monkey revealed that a handful of senior councillors and council officers have become so obsessed with Mr Monkey’s Blog that they’ll stop at nothing to close it down – as long as they can pass the costs on to the taxpayer.

This chimp also told bloggers that the council has spent more than £30,000 on legal advice in an effort to silence the chimp. CLICK HERE. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal the council was told by the lawyers they consulted that if they wanted to pursue the chimp in the American courts the cost would be around £400,000 and that there was no guarantee of success.

They also told the council that if they managed to force WordPress – via the US courts – to reveal the IPaddress used by Mr Monkey to register his blog, this was only the beginning of a long and expensive legal process.

WordPress would only reveal the IP address, service provider i.e BT and the details used at the time of registration. The council would then need to go to court again – this time in the UK to get a court order to force BT to reveal the location of the IP address. Again this would not necessarily reveal the identity of Mr Monkey and they could end up being told that the IP address was registered to a wifi location in Middlesborough, Sunderland, Newcastle or Durham and that the person who registered with WordPress was could have used a false name.

Imagine what the public would say about a council who spends hundreds of thousands of pounds of taxpayers money chasing a monkey and all because the Chuckle Brothers can’t face the prospect of being labelled as a couple of scheming, lying, cheating and corrupt wankers.

This chimp can now confirm that the executive of the council refused to pursue this action on cost grounds and that their decision left the Chuckle Brothers feeling angry and frustrated.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that 10 weeks ago the same group of Labour councillors approached the executive and police again and this time they gave them the name of a person they belive is Mr Monkey, but unfortunately for them, the legal and police advice remains the same.

It seems that despite the Chuckle Brothers best efforts to silence Mr Monkey - Iain and Ed Malcolm are going to have to learn to live with this chimp who according to some experts may live up to 60 years!

south tyneside council guilty of discrimination

Many of council’s male employees are set to get an early Christmas present after South Tyneside Council was found guilty of discriminating against male employees in low paid jobs .

As a result of yesterday’s landmark ruling more than 12,000 men across the UK won the right to bring equal pay claims against their employers and the bill for these discriminatory practices will run into hundreds of millions of pounds.

In a test case, 300 men working as care assistants, caretakers, drivers and leisure attendants lodged discrimination claims against South Tyneside, Hartlepool and Middlesbrough Borough Councils.

Their claim was based on what they say are discriminatory bonuses paid to male workers in better paid jobs, such as gardeners and refuse collectors.

The men lodged their claims at the same time as those by women in low-paid jobs who were also claiming that the bonuses were discriminatory. The women succeeded in their claims and were offered financial settlements but the men had not and continued to be paid less both than the better paid men, and also the women.

The Employment Appeal Tribunal ruled that the men should have been offered the same back pay as the women.

Mr Justice Underhill, president of the tribunal, said: “The case where men and women do the same job but receive different rates of pay is the paradigm of the kind of situation which the Act was intended to prevent: how would it seem if – unusually, but not impossibly – the roles were reversed and the ‘piggyback’ claimants were not men but women?”

After the ruling, Yvette Genn, a barrister who specialises in equal pay law said: “This is an important decision as it demonstrates that equal pay laws can be applied not only by women who compare themselves with men, but also by men who are comparing themselves with better paid men. Even though women historically have received lower pay than their male counterparts, it is too often forgotten that the law applies equally to men as it does to women.”

Mr Monkey reckons local solicitors will be inundated with claims for equal pay by men who have worked for or are still working for South Tyneside Council – they’ve got nothing to lose especially as any legal fees they incur will have to be picked by the council.

IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A CLAIM IT’S WORTH TALKING TO A SOLICITOR AS WELL AS THE UNION – REMEMBER UNION OFFICIALS ARE VERY FRIENDLY WITH COUNCILLORS AND COUNCIL OFFICERS AND MAY NOT PUT YOUR INTERESTS FIRST.

It seems that the council’s chief executive, Irene Lucas knew the writing was on the wall and is jumping ship before the chickens come home to roost .

silence of the chimps – part 1

It seems senior councillors and a handful of council officers have become so obsessed with Mr Monkey’s Blog that they’ll stop at nothing to close it down – as long as it doesn’t cost them anything.

It took just 2 weeks for these fuckwits to shit themselves at the prospects of being exposed for the corrupt, scheming and devious fraudsters that they really are.

Council leader Iain Malcolm acted quickly and ordered senior council officers to censor Mr Monkey’s Blog by barring access to it from council owned computers. In his eagerness to hide the truth from his own colleagues and officials he also barred access to another local blog.

The owner of the blog - the Fat Mackem Hobitt – begged councillor Malcolm to allow people to access his blog from council owned equipment and in return he agreed to do anything Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm asked of him.  CLICK HERE.

Unfortunately councillor Malcolm failed to realise that his actions would have the opposite effect and instead of putting an end to his ape like antics, Mr Monkey’s Blog became an overnight sensation and quickly established itself as South Tyneside’s premier political blog.

In December Mr Monkey told bloggers about the Malcolms attempts to get the police to close Mr Monkey’s Blog after they received a monkey Christmas card – apparently they were intimidated by it – but were told to stop wasting police time and that if they had any concerns it was a civil matter that had nothing to do with the police. CLICK HERE 

In April Mr Monkey revealed that he had received a tip off that the council had spent thousands of pounds on legal advice to find a way of shutting down Mr Monkey’s Blog CLICK HERE. 

After the initial visit to the police in December 2008 this same councillors lead by Iain Malcolm approached the executive of the council and ordered them to start legal proceedings against WordPress, via the courts, to reveal the account holders details and therefore reveal the identity of Mr Monkey. 

The council took professional legal advice from experts in internet and international law to determine what legal action could be taken against WordPress. They spent over £30,000 of public money and were told that any legal action against WordPress – who are based in the US – would have to be in the American courts and would be very costly.

They were also told that it was unlikely to succeed and if it did, they would not get the identity of Mr Monkey but only the IP address used by Mr Monkey when he registered with WordPress and this could have been done from anywhere including public places with wifi access.

… to be continued.

whose the mole in the labour party?

Judging by the comments on Indy councillor Khan’s twitter page it seems the local Labour party is leaking like a sieve. Either that or councillor Khan has at least one mole in the Labour ranks or is being feed information by a disgruntled council officer who is sick of the current regime.

According to councillor Khan, yesterday’s joint monthly Labour party meeting agreed to accept the council leader’s recommendations on Special Education Needs schools. This means that the Labour party has performed a u turn on the SEN review and was worried about the prospect of having to face the wrath of an increasingly militant and determined group of parents and supporters who are fighting to save theirschools or are they more worried about losing their seats at the next election?

Apparently the Labour party has now agreed to ..

Keep Bamburgh school open
Keep Oakleigh Gardens school open and merge it with Greenfields
Close Epinay school

It seems that councillor Khan’s mole has unwittingly – or was it deliberately – scuppered councillor Iain Malcolm’s plan to spin the truth and announce the news when it best suited him.

miss piggy orders a new set of wheels – paid for by you

'Piggy's wheels'

Mr Monkey wonders how many people know that South Tyneside council recently did it’s bit to help the ailing British car industry by buying another Swedish car? A fuckwit Iain Malcolm in the town hall decided that it was time to add another black Volvo to the growing collection of council vehicles.

Apparently Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy didn’t want the new deputy mayor, coun Tom Piggott travelling round the borough on his own, because he couldn’t be sure what he’d say. To avoid any embarrassing Piggott moments, coun Malcolm thought the deputy mayor should always be accompanied?

The council already has one black Volvo which comes complete with a chauffeur and it’s used mainly by the mayor, although Iain Malcolm has been known to use it when he needs a lift to the airport. Mr Monkey has now been told coun Iain Malcolm felt that one wasn’t enough so in these difficult economic times – when people are struggling financially – he  decided the time was right to buy a second one. 

He also thought he’d do his bit to help massage the unemployment figures by recruiting another chauffeur – what good is a car without a driver?

iain malcolm dares you tell people about mr monkey!

Seems council leader Iain Malcolm’s obsession to silence Mr Monkey has taken a new twist.

Bloggers will already know that Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm ordered senior officers of the council to bar access to Mr Monkey’s Blog from all council computers in a desperate attempt to stop council employees and councillors from reading about his disgraceful antics and what really goes on behind the closed doors of his pen office. CLICK HERE.

If that wasn’t enough, he tried to ban access to Mr Monkey’s Blog on council owned Blackberrys that are used by senior officers and councillors. CLICK HERE.

And even his brother, councillor Ed Malcolm unsuccessfully complained to the police after he recived a Christmas card from a  naughty ape. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey has also learned that public money has been used to buy legal advice in an effort to silence this chimp - more on this will follow. CLICK HERE, and HERE 

A senior councillor has unwittingly told Mr Monkey that his ape antics are driving Miss Piggy mad and he’s frustrated that all his attempts to silence the chimp fail.

Apparently he’s now resorted to intimidation to silence anyone who dares mention Mr Monkeys Blog and has threatened to take disciplinary action against any council employee who dares mention Mr Monkey by name.

This chimp was now been told that councillor Iain Malcolm has stepped up his campaign of intimidation and is now using the council’s Standards Committee in a last ditch attempt to stop people referring to Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Apparently an opposition councillor has been reported to the Standards Committee for daring to refer to Mr Monkey’s Blog – the councillor has been charged with promoting a political blog that disrespects both councillors and council officers.

Mr Monkey reckons other local bloggers, newspapers (except the Shields Gazette who already do as they are told) and anyone who dares talk about local politics in their workplaces, pubs, clubs and even their own homes better beware, the fat sow in the town hall is out to get you.

exclusive: an investigation into election fraud and ballot rigging in South Tyneside

'Council leader Iain Malcolm and the South Shields Labour party are under investigation for election fraud'

About 2 months ago Mr Monkey received some disturbing information about a culture of election fraud within the local Labour party.  

At first Mr Monkey thought that the allegations were being made by a disgruntled political opponent of the ruling Labour group but decided to take investigate the them further, especially as they concerned the leader of the council Iain Malcolm who several months earlier had been implicated in the scandal surrounding a payout of around £8 million pounds to two former employees of Newcastle Airport when he was the chair of the remuneration committee. 

Mr Monkey’s investigation has taken over month to complete. He has interviewed many witnesses including some of those either knowingly involved or unwittingly conned in to doing someone else’s dirty work. Mr Monkey’s investigation left no stone unturned and took him to Newcastle, London, Hull and he spoke to people in Brussels, Strasbourg and Spain.  

Within days of investigating the allegations Mr Monkey realised that they were coming from a source that witnessed the events and that the motivation for exposing the culture of election fraud within the local Labour Party had nothing to with politics but everything to do with a exposing the truth about the shocking way Labour has lied, cheated and fraudulently held on to power in South Tyneside. 

For years Mr Monkey has heard rumours about election fraud, ballot rigging, fraudulent selection meetings and the manipulation of party membership lists by a group of individuals desperate to hang on to power at all costs. 

 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the culture of election fraud is much wider than he first thought and was orchestrated at the very top by council leader Iain Malcolm but it didn’t stop there.  

 

Others implicated include; Ed Malcolm, Michael Clare, Rob Dix, Ann Walsh, John Anglin, John Wood, Ed McAtominey, Nancy Maxwell, Mark Walsh and Neil Maxwell – and Mr Monkey suspects that this is just the tip of the iceberg. 

 

The findings of Mr Monkey’s investigation are too long to be included in a single post so he will be posting on this subject over the next week or so – make sure you don’t miss out by visiting Mr Monkey’s Blog frequently.  

 

Part one of Mr Monkey’s investigation will be posted here later this morning.

their worst nightmare: Mr Monkey returns!

'Hero worship - coun Iain Malcolm is set to join an exclusive club of election fraudsters headed by his political hero Robert Mugabe'

It seems Mr Monkey’s sudden disappearance has resulted in all kinds of speculation as to his whereabouts, with politicians, council officers and bloggers all left wondering what’s happened to this naughty chimp.

Mr Monkey reckons that for the last 7 days the borough’s political elite, senior council officers and Mr Grumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski at the Gazette have been hoping and praying that their nightmare was finally over and that the chimp’s sudden silence finally signalled the end of Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Sorry to disappoint you miserable bastards but nothing could be further from the truth - you’re nightmares are about to get a whole lot worse!

Mr Monkey took some time out to recharge his batteries, follow up a few interesting leads and finalise his investigations into the culture of election fraud in the local Labour party.

It seems that council leader Iain Malcolm has cheated his way to the top and that his unique vision of democracy in action wouldn’t be out of place in Zimbabwe. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the results of his month long investigation into election fraud and ballot rigging in South Tyneside will be published tomorrow and he reckons that senior local Labour politicians won’t sleep too well tonight knowing what Mr Monkey is about to publish will expose many of their corrupt and devious practises which have helped keep them power for so long.

If you don’t miss out on these exclusive revelations, keep eye on Mr Monkey Blog over the next day or so.

whose the most despised head of service?

Mr Monkey has learned that a major restructure of Neighbourhood Services is being held up by the ego of one of the Heads of Service.

The indiviual concerned is refusing to compromise and wants the lion’s share of the services being left without a head of service when Sylvia Brown leaves in the next couple of weeks. He’s been going over the head of his boss, Executive Director Fiona Brown and is trying to sweet talk Irene Lucas in to giving him what he wants.

This delay is leaving hundreds of staff unsure where they’re going to be working come 1st April, or indeed if they have a job – many of them are on fixed term contracts. These discussions have been going on since December, but are consistently being held up by this egotistical head of service.

The person in question also has a track record of putting his names on reports and documents he’s had nothing to do with and in creating ever more ridiculous job titles for himself to feed his petty ego.

Mr Monkey will reveal the identity of this despised individual in the coming days.