Archive for the 'Flying Scotsman' Category

25
Jul
09

councillor’s mental health problems put to good use

'Councillor Potts uses his own mental health experiences to help himself'

'Councillor Potts uses his own mental health experiences to help himself'

Cleadon and East Boldon councillor David Potts who has a history of mental illness is hoping he can use his own experiences to change people’s perception of mental illness.

Councillor Potts, who is till trying to get his life in order after being detained under section 4 of the Mental Health Act following his deselection as the prospective Conservative Parliamentary candidate in the Labour held Edinburgh South constituency at the next General Election, is now backing a national campaign to get a section of the Mental Health Act, which states an MP can never sit in Parliament if they suffer a nervous breakdown while in office, changed.

Under Section 141 of the Mental Health Act 1983, an MP automatically loses their seat if detained under the Act for a period of 6 months or more.

He said: “how can this be fair? Basically what this says to people is, if like me, you’ve suffered from a mental health problem, your opinions will never be valid again”.

He went on to say, “this means that people who have the most experience of the system cannot change the system.

“When I was about 14 I started getting very depressed and became paranoid and I’ve had to cope with these feelings ever since. Things became extremely difficult for my family after I tried to kill myself and as you can imagine, I wasn’t a very pleasant person to be around”

“Eventually, my mam took me to the local hospital to see one of the doctors there and he said he wanted me to go into hospital. They basically said to me I could either go voluntarily, or I could be sectioned for up to six months.”

Councillor Potts, who is a self employed financial trader and lives in West Boldon, spent the next few months in hospital, is backing a national campaign by mental health charity Rethink, to raise awareness of mental health issues with MPs. 

He said: “I am taking a big risk being so open about my mental health problems and there are things people can and I am sure will, say, it could also be the end of my politial ambitions, but if you go through something like this, you should be allowed to have your say.

“It’s essential that people who have experienced the system should be allowed to shape it”.

17
Feb
09

Bilbo Loves Ping Pong

'Mayor Baggins loves his ping pong'

'Mayor Baggins is considering using his mayor's allowance to buy himself a momento of his visit to the Flying Scotsman'

Last week Mr Monkey revealed how some South Tyneside councillors love nothing more than an away-day to London, especially if there’s a chance to pop in to the Flying Scotsman to watch some dirty tart strut her stuff; all for a bit of loose change, CLICK HERE 

Mr Monkey recalls a story he heard in the members lounge about soon to be mayor Bilbo Baggins, aka councillor John Anglin.

Apparently Bilbo had been in London for the day with a few of his cronies including Shrek, aka councillor Gibson and his Donkey, aka councillor Sewell when they decided to call in to their favourite watering hole for a quick drink fanny farm to see what tasty morsels were on the menu.

As soon as they entered this perverts paradise, they were approached by a rough looking Eastern European slapper, who even Shrek wouldn’t shag.

Luckily for Bilbo, this lass took a shine to him and kept shaking her empty pint glass at him – she was after a bit of loose change so she got get her kit off and perform her party trick. 

Bilbo quickly obliged and before he could say Gandalf, this dodgy slapper was on the stage dropping her draws and flashing her fanny for all to see.

Bilbo had never seen anything like it before and his glasses steamed up so quickly, Shrek had to provide him with demisting cloth – but the best was still to come.

Apparently Hobbits love ping pong and somebody had told the star of the show. No sooner had she finished exercising her fanny, she appeared with a box of ping pong balls.

This Queen of Sleaze crouched down, opened her legs and loaded her fanny with the full box of ping pong balls. She then turned towards Bilbo, gave him a quick wink and started to fire them in the direction of this ecstatic hobbit.

By now, Bilbo’s glasses were so steamed up he didn’t realise that he was being hit by ping pong balls and his suit was getting covered an unusual substance with a familiar odour.

It was only when Shrek and Donkey picked him up off the floor and helped him to the train for the journey back to Newcastle did he realise what he’d done.

This is when the guilt set in as he wondered how he’d explain the staining on his suit and the whiff of a kipper to Berylla Baggins, aka Chris Anglin.

Mr Monkey reckons the mayor’s secretary will have to keep an eye on the mayoral chains just in case Bilbo is tempted to swap the golden balls for the more familiar fishy type.

15
Feb
09

Monkey Clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to all those South Tyneside councillors who love nothing better than a tart with their pint – and the rougher the better.

12
Feb
09

Desperate Councillors and The Flying Scotsman

'The members lounge'

'The members lounge'

Certain South Tyneside councillors love nothing more than an away day in London, especially when the council throws in a First Class rail journey, an overnight allowance of £120 quid and the chance of a pint whilst getting up close and personal to some of the dirtiest slappers a quid can buy.

These pillars of society blood sucking perverts con their loved ones into thinking that they’re away at a conference or on a training course when all the time their minds are on some tart who’ll drop her knickers and do all sorts of lewd things with a mars bar, a tub of Vaseline, a can of shaving foam and a box of balls – and all this for the price of a couple of Gazettes.

Apparently our local councillors love nothing more than congregating in a sleazy pub called the Flying Scotsman which is next door to Kings Cross railway station.

Anyone who knows London will tell you what a seedy place Kings Cross is and how some of Eastern Europe’ most desperate and destitute women scratch a living by entertaining depraved and perverted scum. 

The pub is boarded up on the outside and is dark and dingy on the inside and is reputed to have the worst toilets in the world. Once inside it won’t be long before you’ll see a girl writhing around on the tiny raised stage as another one circulates the room with a plastic pint pot collecting loose change. It amazing what a quid will get you these days.

House rules are so simple even a fuckwit like councillor Jimmy ‘The Donkey’ Sewell can understand them – urh, the more that goes in the pot, the more that comes off – and the more obscene the presentation.

It’s amazing what a desperate woman can do with a with a box of ping pong balls – but more of that later!

11
Feb
09

Coming Soon – Tales From The Flying Scotsman

'Anything goes if you've got a quid'

'Anything goes if you've got a quid'

Apparently some of our councillors love nothing more than a pint and a tart, especially if they’re away from the prying eyes of their loved ones.

Unfortunately they didn’t count on Mr Monkey’s spies eyes being everywhere.

If you’re one of the dirty bastards who enjoys a bit of lewd behaviour with your pint, keep an eye on Mr Monkey’s Blog where all is set to be revealed!




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