Archive for the 'Johnston Press' Category

21
Jul
09

mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can go home'

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

  • Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
  • Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
  • Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
  • Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
  • Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
  • Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
  • ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
  • Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
  • Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
  • Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
  • Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself – in record time – this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present – Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever – that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

21
Jun
09

monkey clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to Lalon Amin of Bangla Awaz, the Labour party’s lackey and editor of the Malcolm Fanzine, Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local news snoozepaper and Ahmed Khan the ‘camera shy’ councillor who seems to love nothing more than a headline or two.

06
Jun
09

whose council leader iain malcolm impersonating?

Council leader Iain Malcolm now seems to be distancing himself from the comments he made on Mr Monkey’s Blog after the council’s week long visit to Epinay in France was exposed on this blog. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey also revealed that councillor Malcolm used a pseudonym in order to hide his real identity or to deliberately discredit the person whose identity he had stolen. Both comments were posted under the name J Adamson and were from this e-mail address eurocar@hotmail.com

Now Mr Monkey reckons there is a 3rd possibility – councillor Iain Malcolm wrote the comments on someone else’s behalf who then posted them on this site using his or her own identity. Whatever the circumstances this chimp is 100% certain that the comments were written by Iain Malcolm. CLICK HERE and HERE. and that this is’nt the first time Miss Piggy has posted comments on Mr Monkey’s Blog using other peoples names – more of this later. 

It seems Mr Monkey’s decision to reveal council leader Iain Malcolm was behind these comments and the decision to tell bloggers about his rouse of using eurocar@hotmail.com as his e-mail address caused panic in the South Tyneside Scroungers Club councillors delegation in Epinay and sent them scurrying for cover back under the stones they crawled out from.

Councillor Malcolm then came up with another rouse, this time he tried to bloggers that J Adamson was a council employee who now risked losing his or her job because of Mr Monkey’s revelations. Unfortunatley he couldn’t order his stooge, Papa John Szymanski at the Labour Gazetteer, aka Shields Gazette to publish the story – he can’t risk telling the public what we really gets up to at their expenses – so he decided to use the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire as his mouthpiece and the daft twat fell for it.

Within hours of Mr Monkey confirming that Iain Malcolm was the person responsible, the following comment appeared;

You deluded idiot, I AM NOT Iain Malcolm and I AM NOT a councillor just an employee of STC, now you’ve disclosed my email address and risked my job you stupid ignorant fucking twat!
Pull your head out of your arse and start thinking of a way to defend me at the investigatory interview.

I won’t be back leaving comments here, brainless arsehole.

.. and this is when the theory that J Adamson is a council employee falls on flat on it’s arse.

Although this latest comment comes from the same e-mail address and uses the same name, Mr Monkey is certain that Iain Malcolm did not write it – it’s not his style of writing,  which thanks to a tip off Mr Monkey now knows how to recognise.

This comment is clearly the work of a second individual on the French trip and Mr Monkey reckons he ‘s seen this style of writing on dozens of occasions since his blog first appeared.

Mr Monkey is going to spend the weekend going through all the archived comments to see if any pattern emerges and he’s also going to do some digging into who or what eurocar is and what link there is with South Tyneside Council – his findings will be posted next week.

In the meantime Mr Monkey can reveal that the eurocar e-mail address was first used by someone called Big Daddy on 1st November 2008 when he (the tone of this comment tells you he’s a man) left this comment

Get out ya dirty bastard we want to see some chicks, lasses with big tits in nurses uniforms.
No Bender Boys like Malcolm does. 

17
May
09

iain malcolm dares you tell people about mr monkey!

Seems council leader Iain Malcolm’s obsession to silence Mr Monkey has taken a new twist.

Bloggers will already know that Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm ordered senior officers of the council to bar access to Mr Monkey’s Blog from all council computers in a desperate attempt to stop council employees and councillors from reading about his disgraceful antics and what really goes on behind the closed doors of his pen office. CLICK HERE.

If that wasn’t enough, he tried to ban access to Mr Monkey’s Blog on council owned Blackberrys that are used by senior officers and councillors. CLICK HERE.

And even his brother, councillor Ed Malcolm unsuccessfully complained to the police after he recived a Christmas card from a  naughty ape. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey has also learned that public money has been used to buy legal advice in an effort to silence this chimp – more on this will follow. CLICK HERE, and HERE 

A senior councillor has unwittingly told Mr Monkey that his ape antics are driving Miss Piggy mad and he’s frustrated that all his attempts to silence the chimp fail.

Apparently he’s now resorted to intimidation to silence anyone who dares mention Mr Monkeys Blog and has threatened to take disciplinary action against any council employee who dares mention Mr Monkey by name.

This chimp was now been told that councillor Iain Malcolm has stepped up his campaign of intimidation and is now using the council’s Standards Committee in a last ditch attempt to stop people referring to Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Apparently an opposition councillor has been reported to the Standards Committee for daring to refer to Mr Monkey’s Blog – the councillor has been charged with promoting a political blog that disrespects both councillors and council officers.

Mr Monkey reckons other local bloggers, newspapers (except the Shields Gazette who already do as they are told) and anyone who dares talk about local politics in their workplaces, pubs, clubs and even their own homes better beware, the fat sow in the town hall is out to get you.

15
May
09

how do you claim £17,393 in expenses and allowances for attending just 12 meeting?

Mr Monkey has been reviewing some of his older posts and came across this one CLICK HERE about the Conservative group leader’s money grabbing antics.

No one can argue that councillor David Potts has an abysmal record when it comes to attending meetings and in the last 12 months he’s attended just 12 meetings out of a possible 71 and has been paid more than £14,000 in allowances and claimed £3393 in expenses.

That’s a massive £17,393 for the year which is equivalent to £1,449 a month, £334 a week or nearly £1,500 a meeting.

Mr Monkey hasn’t been able to work out how this greedy bastard has the nerve to claim £282 in expenses for every meeting he’s attended, unless of course he travelled back from Edinburgh – where he was standing as a Tory candidate – at the taxpayers expense.

27
Apr
09

twat of the week

'Twat of the Week .. again'

'Twat of the Week .. again'

There’s only one contender for the Twat of the Week award and that’s Papa John Szymanski, the Labour party lackey who moonlights as the editor of the Shields Gazette Malcolm Fanzine.

According to this post CLICK HERE he did’nt take kindly to being told the truth about his unhealthy relationship with Labour council leader, Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy. 

Papa John ignored his own senior management, preferring instead to seek the advice of alleged election fraudster councillor Iain Malcolm. Apparently he told him to use the council’s code of conduct to lodge a formal complaint against the author of the article.

Unfortunately Papa John didn’t think of the consequences of his actions and in his desperation to stop any criticism he’s allowed the Shields Gazette to become the biggest joke in the North East, whilst at the same time he has become a figure of ridicule within his profession.

Congratulations Mr Szymanski with poor judgement like this, you deserve the titleTwat of the Week and perhaps it’s time your other employer, Johnston Press took decisive action against you.

22
Apr
09

exclusive: Editor of the Gazette desperately tries to silence his critics

Yesterday Mr Monkey revealed that editor of the Shields Gazette and chair of the Northern region of the Society of Editors, John Szymanski had complained to council leader Iain Malcolm about the contents of a newsletter that criticised the Gazette’s less then healthy relationship with the ruling Labour group. CLICK HERE.

This chimp can now confirm that Mr Szymanski has brought his profession into disrepute by attempting to silence his critics. Unfortunately his actions have made a mockery out of his so called commitment to free-speech and has raised some serious questions about his integrity and judgement as well as his suitability to continue as a editor of the once proud Shields Gazette.

It seems that Mr Szymanski took exception to the following statement published in the spring edition of the Independent newsletter for Westoe: 

WITH ALL OF THIS ACTIVITY why is our local rag not full of accounts of all the questions, discussion and debate raised by the Independent Alliance? It has been suggested that the Gazette has become part of the Malcolm Fanzine Cavalcade. Since Cllr Iain Malcolm stepped out of the shadows and took on the role publicly that he has always had, leader of the Council, the editor of the Gazette is seen more often at the jollies previously mentioned than the Mayor! The Alliance has no need to depend upon the Gazette for reporting its activities, we can do it ourselves. As you know we distribute newsletters four times a year, produce special leaflets for specific issues e.g. Gypsies Green and the disappearing ballot boxes, knock on doors and talk to people throughout the year and hold public meetings. Never the less, it is sad to think that free press is not that free and has been bought for an onion baghee from the buffet! 

 … apparently the truth hurts.

A source close to Iain Malcolm has confirmed that he alerted Mr Szymanski to the article who in turn was so incensed by the critiscim he faced that he contacted the council leader to see if there was anything he could do about it. Councillor Malcolm told him there was nothing he could do officially and that the best course of action would be for him to make a formal complaint to the local Standard’s Board. Councillor Malcolm explained the process in more detail and even told him which sections to quote in his complaint.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that John Szymanski has complained to the Standard’s Board about councillor Jane Branley whose name was on the newsletter and that following a confidential report to a sub committee the matter will now be investigated further.

What councillor Malcolm didn’t tell John Szymanski was that when a complaint is made to the Standard’s Board the person who the complaint is lodged against is told who made the complaint. Poor Mr Szymanski thought he was making an anonymous complaint and that no one would find out about it, least of all councillor Branley and especially his own staff – nothing could be further from the truth.

Mr Szymanski’s desperation to silence his critics and his willingness to please his paymaster has back fired and he has been labelled a hypocrite with no integrity. He’s also become the laughing stock of his profession – but worse is to come.

Mr Monkey will be contacting senior managers staff at Johnston Press in Edinburgh and will be sending hard copies of this post to every member of the Society of Editors and not just in the North East.

Mr Monkey has also learned that a further 20,000 newsletters containing the same article have been distributed in Hebburn South, Whiteleas, Biddick and All Saints, Horsley Hill and Whitburn and Marsden – apparently there’s more to follow.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering how Mr Szymanski is going to explain this latest in a long line of gaffes to his senior managers? 




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