Archive for the 'Karen Allen' Category

19
Jul
09

get help councillor potts .. before it’s too late

'Mr Monkey is worried about you Tory Boy, get help before it's too late'

'Mr Monkey is worried about you Tory Boy, get help before it's too late'

If any of you have witnessed councillor David Potts, aka the King of Sleaze’s erratic behaviour over the past 10 months you can’t help but agree with this chimp, that Tory Boy has become mentally unstable.

Mr Monkey is seriously worried about Pudgy Face and reckons he’s lost the plot – apparently he’s even started going to church in anticipation of meeting his maker. Well this chimp doesn’t want to be responsible for pushing him over the edge.

Bloggers will have noticed that councillor Potts has been going downhill ever since he was de-selected by the Scottish Conservatives after Mr Monkey brought the King of Sleaze’s antics to the attention of blue rinse brigade in Edinburgh. He’s never recovered from the rejection or come to terms with the fact that his political career was ended by a chimp.

It now seems that Tory Boy is behaving like a spoiled child who cries and whines, because nobody, but his lone ally Jeff Milburn takes any notice of him. Mr Monkey reckons Pudgy Face is mentally ill and needs to seek professional help before it’s too late.

This poor excuse of a man is becoming more and more unstable. His mental illness is affecting not only his decision-making at the Red Lion, but is now hurting the image of the local Conservatives, which probably explains why rising star, Karen Allen, the Parliamentary candidate for South Shields wants nothing to do with him.

Councillor Potts reminds Mr Monkey of President Nixon in his final days as President, he drank too much, started to talk to pictures of past Presidents and became overwhelmingly paranoid. Please councillor Potts, seek help, before it’s too late .. this chimp is worried about you.

28
Feb
09

twat of the week

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

Mr Monkey should have known that finding a ‘Twat of The Week’ was always going to be difficult once this picture of David ‘Birdman’ MacLean appeared, CLICK HERE. 

What this chimp didn’t realise was that there would be so many twats worthy of the title.

Contenders for this coveted award are:

  • Karen Allen - for thinking a Tory has a chance of getting elected in South Shields.
  • John Szymanski - for handing over editorial control of the Shields Gazette to his paymaster Iain Malcolm.
  • The King of Sleaze, David Potts - for presenting the Tories budget whilst pissed.
  • ‘Big’ Ed Malcolm - for confirming what the world already knows; he’s a blithering, stuttering idiot with the intelligence of a slug.
  • The Patron Slut of Sailors, aka Audrey McMillan - who this week realised there’s no local election until 2010.
  • Wilma Waggott, aka Linda - for remembering she represets Boldon Colliery and not Bede.
  • Victor ‘is anyone home’ Thompson - for remembering what day of the week full council is held on.
  • Mr Miserable, aka Tom Defty - for confirming what everyone knew, he’s joined the Real Independents because George ‘Red Rum’ Elsom promised to pay for his Christmas cards.
  • Vodka Lil, aka Eileen Leask - for listening to council leader Iain Malcolm who convinced her to resign as a governor of Bamburgh School.

and the winner is .. Big Ed Malcolm.

25
Feb
09

Tory Totty

'Tory totty'

'Tory totty'

So the worst kept secret in the South Shields Conservative party is out – Karen Allen has been selected as the Tory candidate to challenge ‘numb nuts’ Miliband at the next general election.

Mr Monkey would like to offer his congratulations to Karen for getting the nomination and for stopping The King of Sleaze, aka Tory Boy David Potts from being thrust on the good people of South Shields.

Apparently ‘local’ lass Karen is relishing the prospect of fighting her first election campaign in her home town, but as with most politicians, everything is not what it seems.

Karen is was a local lass until she moved to London in 2001 to study. She never returned to the North East, insteaed she stayed in London and got herself a well paid ‘city’ job with Lloyds of London.

Mr Monkey has no problem with this but don’t con people into thinking your something you’re not; a local lass. If you work in London – and if Mr Monkey’s sucpisions are right – you probably own a house in London, you must live in London.

Mr Monkey reckons she ‘s one of those people who will use her ‘working class’ roots here in South Shields to suit her needs and will keep ramming it down our throats until the election.

But this chimp reckons that since 2001 she spent less and less time in South Shields and now only returns for birthdays, weddings, christenings, funerals and Christmases - until now!

All that is about to change – at least until the general election as she tries to con the people of South Shields into thinking she’s the girl next door. But Mr Monkey reckons her new found love for Shields will be short lived; she’s not going to win the seat and will disappear back to London the day after the election.

At least Karen is set to bring some glamour to the local political scene and it’ll make a pleasant change from looking at all those wizened old ugly bitches in the Labour party.




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