Archive for the 'Malcolm Brothers' Category

21
Jul
09

mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can go home'

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

  • Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
  • Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
  • Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
  • Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
  • Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
  • Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
  • ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
  • Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
  • Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
  • Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
  • Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself – in record time – this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present – Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever – that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

17
Jul
09

mr united set to challenge labour

Any day now Steady Eddie, aka councillor McAtominey the disgraced Labour councillor and convicted felon will learn whether or not he’s to be booted out of the Labour party.

Councillor McAtominey, who was suspended from the Labour party last year after being arrested on suspicion of drink driving and was later convicted of failing to provide a sample has had his case referred to the National Executive of the Labour party after Labour North shirked their responsibilities and failed to terminate his membership.

Steady Eddie made things worse for himself when he was arrested for a second time and charged with drink driving. This time he pleaded guilty and was banned from driving.

Councillor McAtominey is no stranger to controversy – he was suspended from the Labour party for 4 years after he was caught cheating on printing tenders with the help of his now wife councillor Nancy Maxwell, who was a union employee and his accomplice.

Mr Monkey has been told by an insider that councillor McAtominey has decided that if he’s thrown out of the Labour party he will not stand down as a councillor but instead he will cross the floor and become an Independent, so will his wife councillor Maxwell.

Apparently they’ve already discussed this with their friend and Labour party thug enforcer, councillor John McCabe and councillor McAtominey is telling those close to him that councillor McCabe is  likely to follow him and rejoin the ranks of the Independents after first being elected as an Independent and then crossing the floor to Labour.

Steady Eddie is predicting that he’s the man to unite the opposition groups and that he will lead the challenge on Labour. He’s determined to go down in history as the man that killed off the Malcolms.

Good luck Mr United – this chimp is looking forward to seeing you in action once again, but this time with the support of some ferocious allies instead of the fuckwits you currently share the benches with.

14
Jul
09

especially for the chuckle brothers

After last week’s false alarm when the Chuckle Brothers, aka councillors Ed and Iain Malcolm thought they’d discovered Mr Monkey’s whereabouts CLICK HERE this chimp reckons they deserve a consolation prize.

So come on boys try your hand at this CLICK HERE - it’s the closest you’ll ever come to catching this ape.

10
Jun
09

eurocar: a regular contributor to mr monkey’s blog

On Monday Mr Monkey said he would publish a list of all the comments on his site that used the eurocar@hotmail.com and eurocar@hotmail.co.uk CLICK HERE.

This followed revelations that council leader Iain Malcolm was behind at least two comments left on Mr Monkey’s Blog during the recent taxpayer funded councillors jolly to France and that he or one of his stooges – most likely councillor Steve Harrison – used the eurocar e-mail address to post the comments.

Mr Monkey also revealed that there seemed to be a link between eurocar and Iain Malcolm. Comments left on this site suggest that the link is councillor Steve Harrison – apparently he owns a company called eurocar and that this company recently won a lucartive contract to supply transport services for the elderly. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the eurocar e-mail address has been used around 90 times to post comments on this site (under various names) and they have nearly always come from the same IP address – until the French jolly.

The style, tone and terminology of these comments is indentical except for the two comments written by Iain Malcom whilst he was in France. Ironically the other 88 comments left by councillor Harrison demonstrates what he really thinks about his colleagies and Mr Monkey reckons they will be overjoyed at the prospect of having this eloquent and confused individual in their ranks.

Here are some of the comments that have appear to have been posted by Steve Harrison from the eurocar address – to help put them in context, Mr Monkey has also included a link to the original post:-

On George Elsom ..

Recon a lot of Councillors in South Tyneside wished he broke his fuckin neck.Heard a canny story about the time he shit his pants on the golf course when one of his mates threatend the Bastard, maybe Mr Monkey would like me to share it with his bloggers?
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

George ‘ive pissed me pants’ Elsom, is coming towards the end of his political life. He was bought very cheaplyoff Iain’miss piggy’Malcolm and a shit vice chair was all he had to show for it. His Missus Olive – had the embarrasment of one of the lowest ever votes in South Tyneside, what a sorry loser u are George. You have no hope of ever getting elected again, because the Indys are going to hammer your ward when its your turn to stand, Better still every other opposition party wants u gone including Labour. Ha ha ha bought for a poxy vice chair then sailed down the tyne like a peice of shit.
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On David Potts .. 

Apparantly his Dick dont work to well according to one Scrubber from the Cottage pub in Cleadon.
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2009/01/24/the-prince-of-sleaze/

I thought Fat pigs flew not took the train?
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/review-2008-the-fat-controller-claims-2251-to-ride-the-train/

Do you want me to bring him in for questioning?
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/is-potts-a-habitual-liar/

On Eddie McAtominey..

It Was reported in the Malcolm fanzine ( Gazette ) last week that the residents of Hebburn have a 5,500 name petition against the Tescoville
development and PISSED-AS-A-DRUNKEN-CUNT McAtominey told them to basic’ly PISS OFF he was going to make the decision not them. Well i think the boots on the other foot now.

http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

Theres over 40K gannin in that hoose, paid for of course by the hard working taxpayers. Drunken bastard gets 7k basic 12k Police Athourity, 10k Cabinet
Fiddiling Nanc gets 7k Basic and 9+k Chair of Scrutiny. she should of scrutinized that fat tango’ed twat

http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/what-does-steady-eddie-know-about-you-iain/

Aye this Fucka has got away with it for years, after the scandal when he was kicked out of the Labour party for fiddiling, I and several other labour stalwarts dropped out. The man does not know the meaning of the word Integrity, fat, lying, cheating cunt he has scammed himself through life. Hopefully the Magistrates in Peterlee will through the book at the twat and the Borough of South Tyneside will be shot of him. The good people of Hebburn who presented the 5,500 petition are sticking two fucking fingers up to you, they are indeed having the last laugh.
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

On George Elsom and the Progressives ..

Aye how fuckin niave can the progs be, the twats President or some fuckin thing, going round with George ‘red rum’Elsom like his arse lacky.
The Bastards going to fall from a great height right into a bucket of shite.

http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On Iain Malcom ..

fkin faggotttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/iain-taps-his-best-mate-up/

THIS FELLA IS GOING DOWN THE SAME ROAD AS HIS EX LEADER WAGGOT, KEEP ON SPINNING SHIT, AND YOU WILL END UP ON THE SAME SCRAPHEAP AS HIM BONNY LAD.
http://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/500-jobs-or-a-pie-in-the-sky/

Mr Monkey will be posting more comments from eurocar over the coming days.

06
Jun
09

whose council leader iain malcolm impersonating?

Council leader Iain Malcolm now seems to be distancing himself from the comments he made on Mr Monkey’s Blog after the council’s week long visit to Epinay in France was exposed on this blog. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey also revealed that councillor Malcolm used a pseudonym in order to hide his real identity or to deliberately discredit the person whose identity he had stolen. Both comments were posted under the name J Adamson and were from this e-mail address eurocar@hotmail.com

Now Mr Monkey reckons there is a 3rd possibility – councillor Iain Malcolm wrote the comments on someone else’s behalf who then posted them on this site using his or her own identity. Whatever the circumstances this chimp is 100% certain that the comments were written by Iain Malcolm. CLICK HERE and HERE. and that this is’nt the first time Miss Piggy has posted comments on Mr Monkey’s Blog using other peoples names – more of this later. 

It seems Mr Monkey’s decision to reveal council leader Iain Malcolm was behind these comments and the decision to tell bloggers about his rouse of using eurocar@hotmail.com as his e-mail address caused panic in the South Tyneside Scroungers Club councillors delegation in Epinay and sent them scurrying for cover back under the stones they crawled out from.

Councillor Malcolm then came up with another rouse, this time he tried to bloggers that J Adamson was a council employee who now risked losing his or her job because of Mr Monkey’s revelations. Unfortunatley he couldn’t order his stooge, Papa John Szymanski at the Labour Gazetteer, aka Shields Gazette to publish the story – he can’t risk telling the public what we really gets up to at their expenses – so he decided to use the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire as his mouthpiece and the daft twat fell for it.

Within hours of Mr Monkey confirming that Iain Malcolm was the person responsible, the following comment appeared;

You deluded idiot, I AM NOT Iain Malcolm and I AM NOT a councillor just an employee of STC, now you’ve disclosed my email address and risked my job you stupid ignorant fucking twat!
Pull your head out of your arse and start thinking of a way to defend me at the investigatory interview.

I won’t be back leaving comments here, brainless arsehole.

.. and this is when the theory that J Adamson is a council employee falls on flat on it’s arse.

Although this latest comment comes from the same e-mail address and uses the same name, Mr Monkey is certain that Iain Malcolm did not write it – it’s not his style of writing,  which thanks to a tip off Mr Monkey now knows how to recognise.

This comment is clearly the work of a second individual on the French trip and Mr Monkey reckons he ‘s seen this style of writing on dozens of occasions since his blog first appeared.

Mr Monkey is going to spend the weekend going through all the archived comments to see if any pattern emerges and he’s also going to do some digging into who or what eurocar is and what link there is with South Tyneside Council – his findings will be posted next week.

In the meantime Mr Monkey can reveal that the eurocar e-mail address was first used by someone called Big Daddy on 1st November 2008 when he (the tone of this comment tells you he’s a man) left this comment

Get out ya dirty bastard we want to see some chicks, lasses with big tits in nurses uniforms.
No Bender Boys like Malcolm does. 

27
May
09

twinkle toes

Mr Monkey popped into his local for a swift one last night and caught a glimpse of Britains Got Talent – seems the whole country is obsessed with reality tv shows.

This chimp couldn’t help noticing that one of last night’s semi finalist – a brother and sister team – looked as though they came straight from the set of Strictly Come Dancing as they performed a high octane ballroom dancing routine.

Mr Monkey mentioned that he thought it was a shame that more people did’nt take up ballroom dancing and to his surprise a number of locals admitted that they were taking lessons and that they’d been on a waiting list for several months before the could join a class.

What Mr Monkey heard next had this chimp falling about in fits of laughter and he almost choked on his beer.

Apparently councillor Ed Malcolm, aka ‘Big’ Ed and his long term slapper lover councillor Olive Punchion, aka Aunt Sally have been taking ballroom dancing lessons for several months and they’re still crap at it.

Mr Monkey reckons councillor Malcolm’s desire to become the belle off the ball may stem from his childhood fascination with dressing up dolls. Either that or he intends to marry Aunt Sally and wants to surprise his guests when the odd ‘happy couple’ perform the first dance.

The thought of Ed and Olive strutting their stuff on their wedding day is enough to give anyone a nightmare.

Imagine Aunt Sally, the 80 year old scarecrow clinging onto ‘Big’ Ed, the 4ft dwarf for all she’s worth? And what about Big Ed hugging Aunt Sally in a motherly embrace for comfort and security, and to stop him falling over – it’s a good job she’s past lactating or he’d be suckling her too.

But don’t worry Ed, whatever happens this chimp will be there to witness your big day, you have little choice but to invite him!

25
May
09

deputy mayor, councillor Tom Piggott will step down in 2010

Earlier this week Mr Monkey told bloggers that he was following up a story about the new deputy mayor, councillor Tom Piggot. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that councillor Piggott the current deputy mayor has been persuaded to step down in late February to make way for Joyce Welsh.

Councillor Malcolm has been grooming Joyce Welsh for several years and is seen by him as a major player in his attempt to keep the Independents out of Biddick Hall. He has recently put her in charge of the women’s group of the local Labour party, appointed her as a school governor and has put her on several outside bodies where she represents the council.

There’s only one problem – his brother Ed Malcolm’s long term mistress councillor Olive Punchion is due for re-election in 2010 and she has no intention of standing down, especially to make way for a usurper.

Mr Monkey has now learned that councillor Piggott will retire on ill health grounds just before the deadline for nominations in 2010. This will allow Iain Malcolm to impose Joyce Welsh on the ward without the need to follow the selection process.

He has told his close associates that his plan would also catch the Independents off guard as they would not have enough time to find a second candidate – that was until Mr Monkey revealed his plan to the world.




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