Archive for the 'Papa John Szymanski' Category



15
Mar
09

what’s in a name?

Anyone who’s heard Papa John talk about the local media scene will confirm that he’s worried about STCentral TV.

He’s concerned about them scooping the Gazette on stories but he’s desperately worried about the potential loss of advertising revenue to the borough’s only dedicated internet TV channel, especially as he is coming under increasing financial pressure by his bosses.

A quick look at STCentral will confirm that for once he may be right. Colmans who rarely advertise in the Gazette and Hays Travel both have adverts running on STCentral for the first time.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Papa John is capable of responding to this challenge and reckons the competition are going to be laughing all the way to the bank.

Readers of the Gazettee will have noticed that Papa John is guilty of plagiarism by re-naming the Gazette’s piss poor video clips as Gazette TV.

This chimp would like to remind Mr Szymanski that changing a name doesn’t guarantee success and shows just how worried he is about the threat STCentral TV pose.

11
Mar
09

is the council trying to cover up what local people really think?

Last autumn South Tyneside Council was ordered to carry out a PLACE SURVEY by the government and it seems that senior council officers and don’t like the results.

South Tyneside like all other councils were required to undertake a Place Survey in their area between September and December 2008 and every 2 years thereafter.

The survey is designed to measure how residents experience life in South Tyneside, what they think about the place and their satisfaction with a range of local public services. It also provides information for 18 of the national performance indicators that all local councils are measured against.

The survey was a random postal survey and in order to ensure the results were reliable the council needed 1,100 completed questionnaires. The results are then weighted to reflect the profile of the population in each council area.

South Tyneside Council is facing a severe rap on the knuckles for delaying the publication of the national survey into council services. The surevy was due for national publication about 10 days ago, with the best performers getting slaps on the back and the kudos that goes with it – something that council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy and his chief executive, Irene Lucas, aka the Dominatrix keep ramming down the publics throat.

However, South Tyneside Council, seems to have taken thier ball home because they haven’t been able to manipulate the results to suit their own agenda and spin the truth about what people really think.

Senior officers and members have deliberately tried to sabotage the process in an attempt to keep the details of the survey secret and are trying to clog up the system by raising multiple queries on the results with the Audit Commission, as the national results make South Tyneside look very bad.

These queries have been spurious in the extreme, but have resulted in the Audit Commission delaying the publication due to a threat from South Tyneside to take it to a ministerial level – Mr Monkey can’t help wondering who that King Street loving shopaholic could be?

Senior officers and members are running scared of being found out for what they really are and for being held to account for their negligence in mismanaging the borough?

Perhaps Miss Piggy would like to tell this chimp when he can expect to read about this in the Shields Labour Gazetteer?

09
Mar
09

gazette watch

Bloggers will have noticed that the local snooze paper has become the official voice of the borough’s Labour run council and that it’s editor Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski has handed over editorial control to his paymaster council leader Iain Malcolm.

This has been a gradual process and at first Papa John paid lip service to his profession by at least appearing to be reporting things from a neutral perspective and even appeared to occasionally challenge the shit churned out by the Minister of Propaganda, Linda Fothergill, aka the council’s Head of Communications.

Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm, quickly realised how easy it was to manipulate Mr Dumpy – all he had to do was make him feel loved, invite him to council functions and make sure the fat bastard could stuff his face with free sausagee rolls – and the Gazette was his to control.

But over the last month Mr Monkey has noticed that Papa John Szymanski appears to have handed over editorial control to the local Labour party and they in turn seem to publish whatever they want with little or no involvement from the paper’s journalists, especially the so called council reporter Paul Myles Kelly.

Mr Monkey thought he’d test this theory by comparing the council’s latest press release about a possible reduction in council rents with Paul Myles Kelly’s article. CLICK HERE.

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

This chimp was astounded by the results and proves beyond doubt that Papa John Szymanski is nothing more than Miss Piggy’s plaything and that the Gazette is just another propaganda tool for the local Labour run council.

Judge for yourself – below is the press release issued by the council

COUNCIL RECONSIDERS RENTS FOLLOWING GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Council tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council has already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the Council is now reconsidering that figure following today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175 million to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The Council’s Lead Member Resources, Councillor Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government. Both the Council and the Board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time, and we have been pressing the Government to rethink its position. We are delighted that the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for Council tenants. I have instructed officers to assess the revised position following this afternoon’s announcement with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that Council tenants can benefit. We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”

The Council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy. This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As Council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full Council.

Now compare this to the article below that appeared in the The Labour Gazetteer, formerly known as the Shields Gazette. The differences between the 2 articles have been highlighted in red and amount to a change of title, the addition of 8 words and the removal of 2 others.

TENANTS IN LINE FOR RENT CUTS

COUNCIL house tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a major reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council had already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the council is now reconsidering that figure after today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175m to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The council’s lead member for resources, Coun Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government.

“Both the council and the board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time.

“We have been pressing the Government to rethink its position, and we are delighted the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for council tenants.

“I have instructed officers to assess the revised position after this announcement, with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that council tenants can benefit.

“We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”
 
The council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy.
 
This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full council, at a meeting on March 26.
Well done Paul Myles Kelly, another worthwhile piece of investigative journalism worthy of your profession the Gazette.
07
Mar
09

Twat of the week

'Mr Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

TWAT OF THE WEEK 'Miss Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

There can only be one winner this week following his fuckwit comments made at another Labour party council bash in the town hall.

Mr Monkey can reveal that the Labour party had another do in the town hall last Friday at the taxpayers expense and all the usual scroungers were in attendance including Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm and his lackey Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski editor of the Gazette.

Bloggers stupid enough to waste 42p on the local snooze paper can’t have failed to have noticed that editorial control has been handed over to the local Labour party their minister of propaganda Linda Fothergill.

Mr Monkey can confirm that the takeover has finally been completed at a ceremony last Friday when Papa John sat at the top table and was given a plate of his favourite sausage rolls as a reward for all his dedication and hard work on behalf of the party.

Before formally accepting the keys to the Papa John’s office, Miss Piggy acknowledged Mr Dumpy’s achievements and praised him for his outstanding and unbiased reporting and told the assembled crowd of scroungers that it was with some regret that he had decided to change the name of the Shields Gazette to The Labour Gazetteer.

Cum on Miss Piggy if you are that desperate to feel his Papa John’s arse you should have just asked him, there was no need to lick it.

Yes you’ve guessed it – The Twat Of The Week is council leader Iain Malcolm affectionately known as Miss Piggy.

28
Feb
09

twat of the week

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

Mr Monkey should have known that finding a ‘Twat of The Week’ was always going to be difficult once this picture of David ‘Birdman’ MacLean appeared, CLICK HERE. 

What this chimp didn’t realise was that there would be so many twats worthy of the title.

Contenders for this coveted award are:

  • Karen Allen - for thinking a Tory has a chance of getting elected in South Shields.
  • John Szymanski - for handing over editorial control of the Shields Gazette to his paymaster Iain Malcolm.
  • The King of Sleaze, David Potts - for presenting the Tories budget whilst pissed.
  • ‘Big’ Ed Malcolm - for confirming what the world already knows; he’s a blithering, stuttering idiot with the intelligence of a slug.
  • The Patron Slut of Sailors, aka Audrey McMillan - who this week realised there’s no local election until 2010.
  • Wilma Waggott, aka Linda - for remembering she represets Boldon Colliery and not Bede.
  • Victor ‘is anyone home’ Thompson - for remembering what day of the week full council is held on.
  • Mr Miserable, aka Tom Defty - for confirming what everyone knew, he’s joined the Real Independents because George ‘Red Rum’ Elsom promised to pay for his Christmas cards.
  • Vodka Lil, aka Eileen Leask - for listening to council leader Iain Malcolm who convinced her to resign as a governor of Bamburgh School.

and the winner is .. Big Ed Malcolm.

24
Feb
09

Early contender For twat of the week

'Birdman MacLean - an early contender for Twat of The Week'

'Birdman MacLean - an early contender for Twat of The Week'

Gazette reporter David Birdman MacLean is an early contender for The Twat of The Week Award for publishing this self portrait on his new blog.

Apparently Birdman –  who is no longer the Gazette’s blue eyed boy – has turned to blogging now that he’s got a bit of time on his hands having given up reporting on the borough’s political stuff.

Mr Monkey knew he was planning his own blog as he kept dropping hints on his Twitter account and over the weekend he finally went live.

This chimp pissed himself laughing when he saw the results of Birdman’s efforts – it got to be the most boring blog ever. It even makes Curly’s blog look exciting!

If that’s the best he can do, Mr Monkey predicts that Birdman’s blog will be around just long enough to send his boss Papa John Szymanski to sleep – he certainly won’t be worried about Birdman upsetting Miss Piggy, his boss in the town hall.

If your at a loose end and want a cure for insomnia, CLICK HERE – it’s better than a sleeping pill!

19
Feb
09

April Fool

'Mr Dumpy the sauasge roll loving cretin'

'Mr Dumpy the sausage roll loving cretin'

When Mr Monkey read this shite CLICK HERE about the editor of the Gazette, Papa John Szymanski, aka Mr Dumpy, the first thing he did was check the date; it wasn’t April 1st was it?

Mr Monkey’s not sure what the region’s editors were thinking of when they ‘appointed’ this sausage roll loving cretin as the chair of the Northern region of the Society of Editors, although he’s now been told by an insider working for the Trinity Mirror group that Papa John was the only twat to put himself forward. 

No wonder the sour faced cunt with five chins got the job!

Apparently when Papa John accepted the post he was given a ceremonial miner’s lamp so he can find his way further up Iain Malcolm’s arse and he promptly embarrassed himself by trying to eat it – he thought it was some kind of novelty sausage roll.

During his acceptance speech, Papa John read out a statement from his paymaster Iain Malcolm said,

“I am honoured to accept this position in what is a challenging time for the media. A free Press is essential to any democracy and I will strive to ensure the Society does its utmost to protect the freedom of all sectors of the media to report on behalf of the public.”

What he meant to say was,

“I am honoured to accept this position on behalf of my paymaster councillor Iain Malcolm, the leader of South Tyneside Council in what is a challenging time for him as the 2010 elections approach. The Press must be at the beck and call of it’s paymasters and democracy means nothing unless we do as we are told. I will strive to ensure the Society does its utmost to protect Labour in the North East and will ensure all sectors of the media only report the news our paymasters want us to as we cannot afford to tell the public the truth”.

Mr Monkey has been told that the Society recognises the universal right to freedom of expression, the importance of the vitality of the news media in a democratic society, and the promotion of Press and broadcasting freedom and the public right to know.

But all this is about to change under the leadership of Iain Malcolm Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski especially if the Gazette is anything to go by.

15
Feb
09

EXCLUSIVE: Gazette Owners Sign Deal With UK Highways Agency

EXCLUSIVE: Johnston Press whose titles include the Shields Gazette and the Sunderland Echo has signed a deal with the Highways Agency to provide real-time traffic and travel data to its regional websites.

The partnership, which has been trialled on the Lancashire Evening Post, the Yorkshire Post and the Yorkshire Evening Post websites, will allow the titles to publish real-time travel information.

The deal, which will be rolled out across Johnston Press’ 323 websites later this year is part of the publisher’s aim to find central sources of content that can be broken down and deployed at a local level.

The trial newspaper sites have plotted live footage from the Highways Agency’s traffic cameras onto a Google map. Each pinpoint opens a new video stream, which is refreshed every 30 seconds.

Sadly the service is unlikely to be rolled out in South Tyneside due to doubts over the long term viability of  the Shields Gazette.

14
Feb
09

More Recycled Shit

Seems councillor Michael Clare’ obsession with recycling has now spread to the council’s press office.

Mr Monkey has noticed that ever since Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm grabbed control of the council from Waggott the council has been recycling old policies and press releases in an attempt to look busy and con the residents of the borough in to believing that he’s actually doing something.

Mr Monkey nearly choked on his peanuts when he saw this blatant con by Miss Piggy and his stooges. CLICK HERE.  

But the piece de resistance has got to be this comment attributed to Mr Tits, aka councillor Alan Kerr,

“The Council is working hard to make its services more flexible and accessible to customers. Our easy to use website is an excellent resource and shows agendas and minutes for all major committees. Clicking on council agendas is a great way for local people to keep in touch with the decisions that affect their everyday lives from planning issues to refuse collections.”

Anyone who knows this dirty old bastard will tell you he couldn’t of dreamt this statement up even if Pamela Anderson was giving him a tit wank – the letch is not capable of spewing this shit.

Mr Monkey can confirm that this press release is nothing more than an attempt to fuck us and just shows the contempt this council has for the residents of South Tyneside.

For the record committee papers, agendas, reports and minutes have been available on line since 2002 so this press release is nothing more than a con.

Mr Monkey can’t wait to see what Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski does with this press release given the fact that his obedient lackeys reporters have been using the council’s on-line links to access committee papers etc for the last 5 years.

14
Feb
09

Twat of The Week

Twat of The Week Mr Dumpy (right)

Twat of The Week - editor of the Gazette John Szymanski (right)whose known in council circles as Mr Dumpy.

There can only be one winner of this week’s Twat of The Week award after this shite appeared in the local snooze paper; the Shields Gazette. CLICK HERE.

To anyone reading this crap it’s obvious editor, Papa John Szymanski, (he’s known as Mr Dumpy in the council’s press office) has been spending too much time in the town hall and that the council’s bullshit and the Iain Malcolm style of news management has finally pickled this outsiders head. The sad thing is the that Mr Dumpy actually believes his own own hype.

According to the council’s lackey Papa John, 

“the Gazette’s core values remain the same – to stand up for South Tyneside’s interests and provide its readers with the best in local news and sport.”

For this statement alone Mr Szymanski has earned the title of Twat of The Week.




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