Archive for the 'Pissed' Category

28
Jul
09

highlights: Vodka Lil Worried Sick

Seems Vodka Lil, Councillor Eileen Leask has something else other than being deselected to worry about today.

Apparently she is very worried about the impact of the new ‘drop in’ health centre planned for Cleadon Park on South Tyneside District Hospital, especially the A & E department, click here.

Mr Monkey reckons that the Gazette reporter, Paul Myles-Kelly should pay a bit more attention to spelling. If he had, he would have realised the Vodka Lil meant she was worried about the AA department!

Lets face it, Eileen Leask wouldn’t want everyone to know what a struggle it is to give up the vodka would she?

23
Jul
09

councillor sectioned following sacking

'Councillor Potts cannot cope with his demons'

'Councillor Potts cannot cope with his demons'

A year ago councillor David Potts was a rising star in the Conservative party after being selected as the Conservative Parliamentary candidate to stand against the Chancellor, Alistair Darling at the next general election.

Many Scottish Conservatives reckoned that he was destined for great things and even councillor David Potts believed that he would – at the very least become a  minister in the new Conservative administration – that was until Mr Monkey revealed his antics here in South Tyneside to the world.

Within months of exposing the ‘real David Potts’ any ambitions he had to make it to Westminster were over. The Scottish Conservatives took the unusual step of effectively sacking him by removing him as their candidate and replacing him with Edinburgh councillor, Jason Rust who ironically had been pictured with David Potts on a number of occasions.

Councillor Potts found it difficult to come to terms with this rejection and his life quickly spiralled downwards.

Publicly he tried to convince the world that he had ‘resigned’ because of his father’s ill health and when it was pointed out to him by people who knew his father that this wasn’ttrue, he changed his story and claimed that the real reason he resigned was so that he could return to South Tyneside to fight the far right threat posed by the BNP.

He attended one meeting hosted by the leader of South Tyneside Council and to date no further meetings have been held.

Those close to councillor Potts feared for his safety and mental wellbeing as his behaviour became more erratic. They noticed that his drink problem had became more profound, he started to talk to imaginary beings and became increasing paranoid – he thought he was being followed by monkeys and started to see chimps everywhere.

This paranoia was coupled with depression, something he had suffered from as a child. He found it difficult to cope with and eventually retreated into his own world, he refused to answer his telephone, speak to anyone and then disappeared.

Some people thought he’d gone on holiday but Mr Monkey can now reveal that he returned to Scotland in an attempt to tackle his Edinburgh demons, but bottled it at the last minute and ended up in Glasgow.

He thought he was safe there where he could hide amongst the down and outs, tramps, alcoholics and drug addicts – that was until a jogger spotted him in the infamous Glasgow Green on the banks of the Clyde and called the police.

Apparently when the police arrived they found him unconscious on a park bench dressed in khaki shorts, a beige tshirt and a pith helmet. He was surrounded by a dozen toy monkeys, some of which had been mutilated and a fluffy chimp hanging from the tree above him in what appeared to have been a mock execution.

When the police roused him he refused to acknowledge their presence, pulled out a water pistol and started to ‘shoot’ the toy monkeys. He even tried to kiss and cuddle 2 blue monkeys which he kept referring to us Maggie and Smeagol.

At this point the police decided to ‘protect’ him and took him to the Gartnavel Royal Hospital where he was detained under section 4 of the Mental Health Act.

Mr Monkey can reveal that councillor Potts – who has a history of mental illness – is now hoping he can use his own experiences to change people’s perception of menal health and is campaigning for the law to be changed.

PART 2 WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY

17
Jul
09

mr united set to challenge labour

Any day now Steady Eddie, aka councillor McAtominey the disgraced Labour councillor and convicted felon will learn whether or not he’s to be booted out of the Labour party.

Councillor McAtominey, who was suspended from the Labour party last year after being arrested on suspicion of drink driving and was later convicted of failing to provide a sample has had his case referred to the National Executive of the Labour party after Labour North shirked their responsibilities and failed to terminate his membership.

Steady Eddie made things worse for himself when he was arrested for a second time and charged with drink driving. This time he pleaded guilty and was banned from driving.

Councillor McAtominey is no stranger to controversy – he was suspended from the Labour party for 4 years after he was caught cheating on printing tenders with the help of his now wife councillor Nancy Maxwell, who was a union employee and his accomplice.

Mr Monkey has been told by an insider that councillor McAtominey has decided that if he’s thrown out of the Labour party he will not stand down as a councillor but instead he will cross the floor and become an Independent, so will his wife councillor Maxwell.

Apparently they’ve already discussed this with their friend and Labour party thug enforcer, councillor John McCabe and councillor McAtominey is telling those close to him that councillor McCabe is  likely to follow him and rejoin the ranks of the Independents after first being elected as an Independent and then crossing the floor to Labour.

Steady Eddie is predicting that he’s the man to unite the opposition groups and that he will lead the challenge on Labour. He’s determined to go down in history as the man that killed off the Malcolms.

Good luck Mr United – this chimp is looking forward to seeing you in action once again, but this time with the support of some ferocious allies instead of the fuckwits you currently share the benches with.

13
Jul
09

mcatominey in another drunken incident

Seems Labour councillor Eddie  ‘hic’ McAtominey may have fucked up again after hitting the bottle early on Friday morning.

This time he verbally abused someone delivering leaflets in Sullivan Walk, Hebburn around 10.30am on Friday. Apparently Steady Eddie flew into a drunken rage when he received a copy of the Indy Alliance’s borough wide newsletter and started shouting insults at the person delivering it.

Shortly after this incident he received a visit from the distribution company to discuss his abusive comments and instead of showing remorse he just repeated his drunken abuse – only this time they were recorded.

Mr Monkey has been told that councillor McAtominey will be reported to the Standards Board of England, Labour North and the police for his disgraceful behaviour, not that this fuckwit gives a damn .. but his wife and fellow councillor Nancy Maxwell might.

04
Jul
09

city whiz kid or a mammy’s boy?

Mr Monkey has noticed that the King of Sleaze, David Potts behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic and that his nose is slowly changing shape.

Several weeks ago this chimp asked a source close to Pudgy Face to listen carefully to the way he talks – he wanted to know how often he spoke through his nose. Mr Monkey also wanted to know how frequently he blows his nose and whether the rumours about him always having a runny nose were true.

For sometime Mr Monkey has been concerned about councillor Potts health, especially his drink problem. But now this chimp is wondering whether Tory Boy’s erratic behaviour can be explained by some other type of addiction.

The King of Sleaze tries to portray himself as a financial whiz kid and judging by his Twitter he fancies himself as a hard nose city boy.

Unfortunately he’s too lazy to get of his arse and move to where the real action or is he worried about being exposed as a fraud?

As well as his normal outlet for spouting his shite, he’s now using Twitter to to con us into believing that it all happens in the Red Lion Boldon.

He talks about flash restaurants, parties, quayside apartments, saunas and wild holidays. But strangely there’s no mention of fast cars, something that’s synonymous with succesful city traders.

Could this have something to do with the fact that he no longer drives after being caught using his dad’s car before he was old enough to get a licence?

Despite all his fancy talk, what Tory Boy doesn’t tell you is that being a ‘high flyer’ means you have to live at home with your mam .. Yes at 26, Pudgy Face is still a mammy’s boy!

Coming soon … the dangerous side effects of cocaine.

11
Jun
09

steady eddie’s big day looms

Mr Monkey wonders how many bloggers remember councillor Eddie McAtominey’s brush with the law?

Last year councillor McAtominey was charged with failing to provide a sample when he was pulled over by the police on suspicion of drink driving. CLICK HERE.

His attitude at the time was defiant and he continually protested his innocence .. that is until he was caught a second time. CLICK HERE.

This time he pleaded guilty and was banned from driving and fined £400. Shortly afterwards he also changed his plea to the first charge and admitted his guilt.

Councillor McAtominey was forced to resign his lucrative paid positions on the Northumbria Police Authority and the council’s decision making cabinet and he was also suspended from the Labour party.

Blogers will recall that this is not the first time he’s been suspended – the first time was when he was caught manipulating the tender process in favour of his own company.

Mr Monkey over heard an interesting conversation in the town hall earlier today, apparently councillor McAtominey’s disciplinary hearing – before Labour North – will take place in the next few days and that whilst he has the full backing of his colleagues in the Jarrow Labour party, the outcome has already been determined – he will be thrown out of the Labour party.

Seemingly council leader Iain Malcolm has used his influence to get rid of his main rival for the leadership of the council.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether councillor McAtominey might use councillor Iain Malcolm’s own driving ban as a precedent for why he should not be hounded out of the party.

02
Jun
09

councillor harrison takes the lead in the french connection

"which way to the free beer tent"

"which way to the free beer tent"

It didn’t take long for Indy councillor Steve Harrison to live up to his reputation of being a freeloader now that his shackles have been removed.

Councillor Harrsion left the Indy Alliance in May to become a ‘stand alone independent’ but within days he joined a new group called the association of misfits non aligned independents and progressives.

It now seems that his price for leaving the Indy Alliance was not the promise of a paid position but the chance to go on a few freebies at the taxpayers expense.

Since being elected by the people of Fellgate and Hedworth to oppose the Labour party he has regularly jumped into bed with them in exchange for a chance to live it up at the public’s expense – councillor Harrison’s loves nothing better than a freebie especially if it means he can get pissed without putting his hand in his pocket.

Mr Monkey has now learned that as well as his taxpayer funded trips to Belfast, London and Bournmouth councillor Harrison has gone continental. On Monday he joined a large delegation of scroungers on a week long trip to Epinay-ser-Seine on the outskirts of Paris, France – funded by the taxpayer.

It seems that even the publicity loving leader of the council thinks the trip might be a sensitive issue at a time when MP’s expenses have angered so many people. This might explain the absence of any coverage in the Labour party fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette and of course there’s the small matter of rubbing his Jarrow and Hebburn colleagues noses in it – no wonder he’s told those around him not to say anything about the trip.

Mr Monkey can’t wait to see how councillor Harrison is going to explain this one to the people that elected him to oppose a regime renowned for it’s abuse of public money. Whilst he’s at it he might want to explain why he’s missed so many council meetings due to business commitments yet he can drop everything at a moments notice to spend a week on the piss, paid for by the people of South Tyneside.




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