Archive for the 'Politicians' Category

28
Jul
09

highlights: Vodka Lil Worried Sick

Seems Vodka Lil, Councillor Eileen Leask has something else other than being deselected to worry about today.

Apparently she is very worried about the impact of the new ‘drop in’ health centre planned for Cleadon Park on South Tyneside District Hospital, especially the A & E department, click here.

Mr Monkey reckons that the Gazette reporter, Paul Myles-Kelly should pay a bit more attention to spelling. If he had, he would have realised the Vodka Lil meant she was worried about the AA department!

Lets face it, Eileen Leask wouldn’t want everyone to know what a struggle it is to give up the vodka would she?

25
Jul
09

councillor’s mental health problems put to good use

'Councillor Potts uses his own mental health experiences to help himself'

'Councillor Potts uses his own mental health experiences to help himself'

Cleadon and East Boldon councillor David Potts who has a history of mental illness is hoping he can use his own experiences to change people’s perception of mental illness.

Councillor Potts, who is till trying to get his life in order after being detained under section 4 of the Mental Health Act following his deselection as the prospective Conservative Parliamentary candidate in the Labour held Edinburgh South constituency at the next General Election, is now backing a national campaign to get a section of the Mental Health Act, which states an MP can never sit in Parliament if they suffer a nervous breakdown while in office, changed.

Under Section 141 of the Mental Health Act 1983, an MP automatically loses their seat if detained under the Act for a period of 6 months or more.

He said: “how can this be fair? Basically what this says to people is, if like me, you’ve suffered from a mental health problem, your opinions will never be valid again”.

He went on to say, “this means that people who have the most experience of the system cannot change the system.

“When I was about 14 I started getting very depressed and became paranoid and I’ve had to cope with these feelings ever since. Things became extremely difficult for my family after I tried to kill myself and as you can imagine, I wasn’t a very pleasant person to be around”

“Eventually, my mam took me to the local hospital to see one of the doctors there and he said he wanted me to go into hospital. They basically said to me I could either go voluntarily, or I could be sectioned for up to six months.”

Councillor Potts, who is a self employed financial trader and lives in West Boldon, spent the next few months in hospital, is backing a national campaign by mental health charity Rethink, to raise awareness of mental health issues with MPs. 

He said: “I am taking a big risk being so open about my mental health problems and there are things people can and I am sure will, say, it could also be the end of my politial ambitions, but if you go through something like this, you should be allowed to have your say.

“It’s essential that people who have experienced the system should be allowed to shape it”.

23
Jul
09

councillor sectioned following sacking

'Councillor Potts cannot cope with his demons'

'Councillor Potts cannot cope with his demons'

A year ago councillor David Potts was a rising star in the Conservative party after being selected as the Conservative Parliamentary candidate to stand against the Chancellor, Alistair Darling at the next general election.

Many Scottish Conservatives reckoned that he was destined for great things and even councillor David Potts believed that he would – at the very least become a  minister in the new Conservative administration – that was until Mr Monkey revealed his antics here in South Tyneside to the world.

Within months of exposing the ‘real David Potts’ any ambitions he had to make it to Westminster were over. The Scottish Conservatives took the unusual step of effectively sacking him by removing him as their candidate and replacing him with Edinburgh councillor, Jason Rust who ironically had been pictured with David Potts on a number of occasions.

Councillor Potts found it difficult to come to terms with this rejection and his life quickly spiralled downwards.

Publicly he tried to convince the world that he had ‘resigned’ because of his father’s ill health and when it was pointed out to him by people who knew his father that this wasn’ttrue, he changed his story and claimed that the real reason he resigned was so that he could return to South Tyneside to fight the far right threat posed by the BNP.

He attended one meeting hosted by the leader of South Tyneside Council and to date no further meetings have been held.

Those close to councillor Potts feared for his safety and mental wellbeing as his behaviour became more erratic. They noticed that his drink problem had became more profound, he started to talk to imaginary beings and became increasing paranoid – he thought he was being followed by monkeys and started to see chimps everywhere.

This paranoia was coupled with depression, something he had suffered from as a child. He found it difficult to cope with and eventually retreated into his own world, he refused to answer his telephone, speak to anyone and then disappeared.

Some people thought he’d gone on holiday but Mr Monkey can now reveal that he returned to Scotland in an attempt to tackle his Edinburgh demons, but bottled it at the last minute and ended up in Glasgow.

He thought he was safe there where he could hide amongst the down and outs, tramps, alcoholics and drug addicts – that was until a jogger spotted him in the infamous Glasgow Green on the banks of the Clyde and called the police.

Apparently when the police arrived they found him unconscious on a park bench dressed in khaki shorts, a beige tshirt and a pith helmet. He was surrounded by a dozen toy monkeys, some of which had been mutilated and a fluffy chimp hanging from the tree above him in what appeared to have been a mock execution.

When the police roused him he refused to acknowledge their presence, pulled out a water pistol and started to ‘shoot’ the toy monkeys. He even tried to kiss and cuddle 2 blue monkeys which he kept referring to us Maggie and Smeagol.

At this point the police decided to ‘protect’ him and took him to the Gartnavel Royal Hospital where he was detained under section 4 of the Mental Health Act.

Mr Monkey can reveal that councillor Potts – who has a history of mental illness – is now hoping he can use his own experiences to change people’s perception of menal health and is campaigning for the law to be changed.

PART 2 WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY

21
Jul
09

mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can go home'

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

  • Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
  • Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
  • Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
  • Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
  • Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
  • Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
  • ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
  • Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
  • Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
  • Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
  • Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself – in record time – this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present – Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever – that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

06
Jul
09

how to recognise a coke head

Whether snorted, eaten, injected or smoked, cocaine is potentially deadly and no one can predict a fatal dose. Here are some perils of long-term, unresolved cocaine addiction and even short-term abuse in some cases.

  • Necrosis in nasal tissue. Snorted cocaine causes constriction of blood vessels; too much constriction means that tissue is being deprived of oxygen, which can lead to cell death.
  • Seizure.
  • Arrhythmia, heart attack and stroke. Cocaine puts an enormous burden on your cardiovascular system, dramatically elevating a user’s heart rate. Even recovered addicts face a likelihood of heart attack seven times higher than the average person. Risk of heart attack is substantially more elevated in the hours after taking a dose of cocaine.
  • Respiratory failure.
  • Kidney damage failure.
  • Serious infection or contraction of HIV/AIDS from contaminated needles.
  • Circulatory embolism from insoluble elements cutting the injected cocaine.

Cocaine is seen by many especially wannabe high flyers – as a hip, glamorous drug but true addicts are not burdened by those delusions, as they desperately focused on how to score their next fix.

Here are some ways to recognize cocaine addiction.

Constantly runny nose. Snorting cocaine can lead to rhinitis, a fancy term for the inflammation of the nasal membranes. Consequently, people who snort cocaine often have an uncontrollably runny nose. In addition to runniness, addicts often suffer nosebleeds or even a loss of their sense of smell.

Pronounced fluctuations in mood and energy levels. When high on cocaine, an addict experiences a rush characterized by hyperactive tendencies, euphoria (as mentioned above), fidgetiness and elevated heart rate. Cocaine highs produce these effects in varying length and amplitude, depending upon how the cocaine is ingested.

But cocaine abuse physically alters the brain’s ability to register pleasure by any other means than gradually escalating doses of the drug. Inevitably, the high gives way to an equally powerful low, characterized by irritability, lethargy and depression.

Sleeping problems. Cocaine addiction can lead to insomnia or oversleeping.

Paranoia and psychosis. Chronic abuse of cocaine can cause the user to become paranoid and anxiety-ridden or even spiral into hallucination and psychotic episodes.

Sexual clues. Cocaine users often report heightened libido, but cocaine abuse can also cause erectile dysfunction and impotence.

Grinding teeth. There’s even a term for compulsive tooth grinding – “bruxism.” This nervous tendency is a common consequence of smoking cocaine.

Short breath. Someone who smokes crack may suffer from shortness of breath due to lung damage from the smoke. No matter how it is ingested, cocaine raises your heart rate enough that, to keep enough oxygen pumping through the veins, a person often feels shortness of breath.

Hot and cold flashes. Cocaine abuse compromises our ability to regulate body temperature.

Weight loss. Cocaine acts as an appetite suppressant, to such an extent that some addicts ultimately suffer from malnutrition.

Needle tracks. A cocaine addict who injects the drug intravenously typically has a track of needle pricks visible on the forearm. Addicts often resort to wearing long-sleeved shirts even on ridiculously hot days in their efforts to hide the evidence of their cocaine addiction.

These observable characteristics do not necessarily indicate addiction to cocaine, but where several of the observations can be made, cocaine addiction is a distinct possibility. Successful treatment is an individualised process, but the first step is identifying the problem and encouraging the addict to find help.

Mr Monkey wonders if bloggers recognise any of the above signs, in thier local councillor perhaps?

20
Jun
09

is the member for jarrow a peckish plonky?

'The memebr for Jarrow thinks the taxpayer should pay for his grocery bill'

'The memebr for Jarrow thinks the taxpayer should pay for his grocery bill'

It seems Jarrow MP Stephen Hepburn loves nothing more than a free feed and piss up at the taxpayers expense – maybe it’s a legacy from his days of being a South Tyneside councillor.

According to the Parliamentary expenses published yesterday, Mr Hepburn thinks that the taxpayer should pick up his grocery bill and he sees nothing wrong in claiming around £75 per week for food – last year the greedy bastard managed to fuck the taxpayer to the tune of £3,850 for his food bill alone.

His expenses also show that he claimed £450 for a washing machine and nearly £500 for a digital camera – which by coincidence happened to be bought a couple of weeks before Christmas – Mr Monkey reckons somebody probably got a canny Christmas present.

Mr Monkey also reckons that the taxpayer has been paying for his drinking habit under the guise of petty cash. Examination of Mr Hepburn’s claims reveal that he claimed £250 a month for ‘petty cash’. This is the monthly limit allowed and there’s no requirement to submit receipts.

This chimp can’t help wondering how he managed to claim exactly £250 month after month unless of course he was milking the system to feed his boozing habit – he can often be found on a Sunday afternoon pissed up in the Clock in Hebburn.

Maybe he should take a leaf out of David Miliband’s book and pay some of the money back?

18
Jun
09

miliband and hepburn caught with their snouts in the trough

The Pig Sty House of Commons has finally published details of MPs’ expenses claims – more than a year after the High Court ordered their publication and weeks after they were leaked to the Daily Telegraph.

Revelations about their claims have forced some MPs to announce their resignations and yesterday junior Treasury minister, Kitty Ussher became the latest MP to quit the Government following allegations that she avoided paying capital gains tax by “flipping” her second home.

The list of MPs expenses includes printed documents and receipts relating to claims made between 2004/05 and 2007/08 for a series of parliamentary allowances, but it seems they are still a bit coy about telling the public the whole truth – many details have been blanked out or have been left out altogether.

These include claims under the £24,000-a-year Additional Costs Allowance, which reimburses MPs for the cost of having to maintain a second home while serving at Westminster; the £22,000 Incidental Expenses Provision, which pays for running an office; and the £10,400 Communications Allowance, which covers the cost of newsletters and websites to inform constituents about their activities; as well as details of expenditure on stationery and postage.

Many of the expense claims and supporting receipts feature large blacked out areas where it’s not always clear what has been obscured or why.

The list does not include the addresses of MPs’ homes, which means it’s virtually impossible to identify so-called flipping – where MPs switch the designation of their second properties to maximise their claims and avoid paying capital gains tax.

Also blanked out are the details of people and companies to whom payments were made using expenses and correspondence between MPs and the Commons Fees Office have also been removed.

But despite this cover up it seems our local MPs have well and truly had their snouts in the trough, CLICK HERE for details of Jarrow MP, Stephen Hepburn’s expenses and HERE for details South Shields MP, David Miliband’s claims.

02
Jun
09

councillor harrison takes the lead in the french connection

"which way to the free beer tent"

"which way to the free beer tent"

It didn’t take long for Indy councillor Steve Harrison to live up to his reputation of being a freeloader now that his shackles have been removed.

Councillor Harrsion left the Indy Alliance in May to become a ‘stand alone independent’ but within days he joined a new group called the association of misfits non aligned independents and progressives.

It now seems that his price for leaving the Indy Alliance was not the promise of a paid position but the chance to go on a few freebies at the taxpayers expense.

Since being elected by the people of Fellgate and Hedworth to oppose the Labour party he has regularly jumped into bed with them in exchange for a chance to live it up at the public’s expense – councillor Harrison’s loves nothing better than a freebie especially if it means he can get pissed without putting his hand in his pocket.

Mr Monkey has now learned that as well as his taxpayer funded trips to Belfast, London and Bournmouth councillor Harrison has gone continental. On Monday he joined a large delegation of scroungers on a week long trip to Epinay-ser-Seine on the outskirts of Paris, France – funded by the taxpayer.

It seems that even the publicity loving leader of the council thinks the trip might be a sensitive issue at a time when MP’s expenses have angered so many people. This might explain the absence of any coverage in the Labour party fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette and of course there’s the small matter of rubbing his Jarrow and Hebburn colleagues noses in it – no wonder he’s told those around him not to say anything about the trip.

Mr Monkey can’t wait to see how councillor Harrison is going to explain this one to the people that elected him to oppose a regime renowned for it’s abuse of public money. Whilst he’s at it he might want to explain why he’s missed so many council meetings due to business commitments yet he can drop everything at a moments notice to spend a week on the piss, paid for by the people of South Tyneside.

22
May
09

Labour councillors paid almost half a million pounds

Its Labour’s turn to face Mr Monkey’s how much do they cost the taxpayer test.

When bloggers look at the figures it’s easy to see why so many Labour stalwarts have been around for so long. No wonder they squeal like pigs on the way to the slaughter house when they face the prospect of being dragged away from the trough.

Mr Monkey also reckons that this is why their lives are decimated when the electorate kick them out and why so many of them try and grab someone else’s seat on the council. This is the only way they can get their snouts back in the trough – there’s never been any honour amongst thieves especially when it comes to money.

Here are some of the highlights from The Labour Greed List,

• Coun Iain Malcolm made the highest claim at £32,435 (£623.75 a week)

• Coun Alan Kerr claimed at £23,319 (£448.44 a week)

• Coun Ernest Gibson claimed a record £4,932.27 for travel and subsistence

• Coun Rob Dix treated himself to a new BMW when he was elected. This delivery driver receives an annual boost to his salary from the taxpayer of around £14,000.

• After replacing Paul Waggott as leader of the council, Coun Malcolm promptly put the boot in by not giving Coun Linda Waggott a place at his trough. She was the only Labour councillor not to receive a special responsibility allowance.

Mr Monkey was staggered to learn that almost half a million pounds of taxpayers money was paid to just 31 Labour councillors and for what? Most of them can’t string a sentence together and couldn’t care less about the people they represent, that is until it’s time for their re-election.

The cost of each Labour councillor to the taxpayer in 2008 – 09 was a staggering £15,029.83.

Name

Allowance

Travel

Subsistence

Total

Weekly Cost

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anglin, J

11,760

-

-

11,760

226.15

Bell, J

16,464

-

-

16,464

316.61

Boyack, P

13,833

691.25

152.33

14,676

282.23

Brady, W  E

16,464

-

-

16,464

316.61

Clare, M H

16,464

-

-

16,464

316.61

Dix, R

14,112

-

-

14,112

271.38

Dixon, T

15,352

1,566.80

315.62

17,234

331.43

Donaldson, A

8,168

-

129.63

8,297

159.55

Foreman, J

16,464

800.15

214.01

17,478

336.11

Gibson, E

16,186

3,431.90

1,500.37

21,118

406.12

Hanson, T

16,464

-

-

16,464

316.61

Kerr, A

22,408

733.47

177.63

23,319

448.44

Leask, E

14,112

-

-

14,112

271.38

Lewell, E L

11,760

-

-

11,760

226.15

Malcolm, E

16,464

1,253.10

605.91

18,323

352.36

Malcolm, I

31,817

239.00

379.82

32,435

623.75

Maxwell, N E

16,464

228.50

72.94

16,765

322.40

McAtominey, E

12,962

638.40

53.12

13,653

262.56

McCabe, J G

14,112

-

-

14,112

271.38

McMillan, A

11,481

-

-

11,481

220.78

Meeks, J

14,112

334.60

160.61

14,607

280.90

Perry, J

16,464

-

-

16,464

316.61

Piggot, T

11,760

-

-

11,760

226.15

Punchion, O

11,760

102.40

-

11,862

228.11

Scorer, B

14,112

211.20

111.75

14,434

277.57

Sewell, J

16,464

658.75

734.78

17,857

343.40

Spraggon, S

11,203

151.20

-

11,354

218.34

Stewart, A M

13,833

114.90

88.47

14,036

269.92

Strike, A

11,760

56.00

-

11,816

227.23

Waggott, L I

7,056

-

-

7,056

135.69

Walsh, A

8,486

372.00

15.42

8,873

170.63

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTALS:

450,321*

10,892.37

4,712.41

465,925*

8,973.16

*These figures do not include pence

20
May
09

how much does a progressive councillor cost the taxpayer?

It’s the Progressives turn to face Mr Monkey’s how much do they cost the taxpayer test. 

Like the Real Independents, these closet Conservatives have effectively been bought by Miss Piggy as he tries desperately to cling on to power. Sadly this once major force in South Tyneside politics has been reduced to a handful of has beens that are well past their sell by date, but they do all have one thing in common – they’re useless, and in some case clueless. 

Take councillor Hetherington, one of the Ugly Sisters from West Park, she accepted the position of vice chair of the Riverside Community Area Forum thinking it was a paid position and when she found out it wasn’t she spent the rest of the year sulking. 

Name

  Allowances   

  Travel   

  Subsistence   

Total

  Weekly Cost   

J. Capstick

£11,760

 

 

£11,760

£226.15

K. Hickman

£11,203

 

 

£11,203

£215.44

E. Hetherington

£7,056

 

 

£7,056

£135.69

M. Robinson

£7,056

 

 

£7,056

£135.69

L. Nolan

£7,056

 

 

£7,056

£135.69

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTALS

£44,131

-

-

£44,131

£848.66

 The cost of each Progressive councillor to the taxpayer in 2008 – 09 was £8,826.20




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