Archive for the 'The Fat Mackem Hobbit' Category

23
Jul
09

councillor sectioned following sacking

'Councillor Potts cannot cope with his demons'

'Councillor Potts cannot cope with his demons'

A year ago councillor David Potts was a rising star in the Conservative party after being selected as the Conservative Parliamentary candidate to stand against the Chancellor, Alistair Darling at the next general election.

Many Scottish Conservatives reckoned that he was destined for great things and even councillor David Potts believed that he would – at the very least become a  minister in the new Conservative administration – that was until Mr Monkey revealed his antics here in South Tyneside to the world.

Within months of exposing the ‘real David Potts’ any ambitions he had to make it to Westminster were over. The Scottish Conservatives took the unusual step of effectively sacking him by removing him as their candidate and replacing him with Edinburgh councillor, Jason Rust who ironically had been pictured with David Potts on a number of occasions.

Councillor Potts found it difficult to come to terms with this rejection and his life quickly spiralled downwards.

Publicly he tried to convince the world that he had ‘resigned’ because of his father’s ill health and when it was pointed out to him by people who knew his father that this wasn’ttrue, he changed his story and claimed that the real reason he resigned was so that he could return to South Tyneside to fight the far right threat posed by the BNP.

He attended one meeting hosted by the leader of South Tyneside Council and to date no further meetings have been held.

Those close to councillor Potts feared for his safety and mental wellbeing as his behaviour became more erratic. They noticed that his drink problem had became more profound, he started to talk to imaginary beings and became increasing paranoid – he thought he was being followed by monkeys and started to see chimps everywhere.

This paranoia was coupled with depression, something he had suffered from as a child. He found it difficult to cope with and eventually retreated into his own world, he refused to answer his telephone, speak to anyone and then disappeared.

Some people thought he’d gone on holiday but Mr Monkey can now reveal that he returned to Scotland in an attempt to tackle his Edinburgh demons, but bottled it at the last minute and ended up in Glasgow.

He thought he was safe there where he could hide amongst the down and outs, tramps, alcoholics and drug addicts - that was until a jogger spotted him in the infamous Glasgow Green on the banks of the Clyde and called the police.

Apparently when the police arrived they found him unconscious on a park bench dressed in khaki shorts, a beige tshirt and a pith helmet. He was surrounded by a dozen toy monkeys, some of which had been mutilated and a fluffy chimp hanging from the tree above him in what appeared to have been a mock execution.

When the police roused him he refused to acknowledge their presence, pulled out a water pistol and started to ‘shoot’ the toy monkeys. He even tried to kiss and cuddle 2 blue monkeys which he kept referring to us Maggie and Smeagol.

At this point the police decided to ‘protect’ him and took him to the Gartnavel Royal Hospital where he was detained under section 4 of the Mental Health Act.

Mr Monkey can reveal that councillor Potts - who has a history of mental illness - is now hoping he can use his own experiences to change people’s perception of menal health and is campaigning for the law to be changed.

PART 2 WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY

21
Jul
09

mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can go home'

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

  • Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
  • Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
  • Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
  • Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
  • Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
  • Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
  • ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
  • Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
  • Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
  • Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
  • Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself - in record time - this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present - Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever - that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

27
Jun
09

South Shields Daily Pictures

Today’s South Shields Daily Picture Monkey Clip is dedicated to two of South Tyneside’s most self opinionated fuckwits - the King of Sleaze, aka conservative councillor David Potts and The Fat Mackem Hobbit, aka Graham Rigg.

It seems that these two have much more in common than Mr Monkey thought and this short clip shows what happens when the King of Sleaze demands total obedience from his subjects lackey.

 

But what does councillor Potts do when the council leader, Iain Malcolm summons him to his office?

06
Jun
09

whose council leader iain malcolm impersonating?

Council leader Iain Malcolm now seems to be distancing himself from the comments he made on Mr Monkey’s Blog after the council’s week long visit to Epinay in France was exposed on this blog. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey also revealed that councillor Malcolm used a pseudonym in order to hide his real identity or to deliberately discredit the person whose identity he had stolen. Both comments were posted under the name J Adamson and were from this e-mail address eurocar@hotmail.com

Now Mr Monkey reckons there is a 3rd possibility - councillor Iain Malcolm wrote the comments on someone else’s behalf who then posted them on this site using his or her own identity. Whatever the circumstances this chimp is 100% certain that the comments were written by Iain Malcolm. CLICK HERE and HERE. and that this is’nt the first time Miss Piggy has posted comments on Mr Monkey’s Blog using other peoples names – more of this later. 

It seems Mr Monkey’s decision to reveal council leader Iain Malcolm was behind these comments and the decision to tell bloggers about his rouse of using eurocar@hotmail.com as his e-mail address caused panic in the South Tyneside Scroungers Club councillors delegation in Epinay and sent them scurrying for cover back under the stones they crawled out from.

Councillor Malcolm then came up with another rouse, this time he tried to bloggers that J Adamson was a council employee who now risked losing his or her job because of Mr Monkey’s revelations. Unfortunatley he couldn’t order his stooge, Papa John Szymanski at the Labour Gazetteer, aka Shields Gazette to publish the story – he can’t risk telling the public what we really gets up to at their expenses – so he decided to use the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire as his mouthpiece and the daft twat fell for it.

Within hours of Mr Monkey confirming that Iain Malcolm was the person responsible, the following comment appeared;

You deluded idiot, I AM NOT Iain Malcolm and I AM NOT a councillor just an employee of STC, now you’ve disclosed my email address and risked my job you stupid ignorant fucking twat!
Pull your head out of your arse and start thinking of a way to defend me at the investigatory interview.

I won’t be back leaving comments here, brainless arsehole.

.. and this is when the theory that J Adamson is a council employee falls on flat on it’s arse.

Although this latest comment comes from the same e-mail address and uses the same name, Mr Monkey is certain that Iain Malcolm did not write it - it’s not his style of writing,  which thanks to a tip off Mr Monkey now knows how to recognise.

This comment is clearly the work of a second individual on the French trip and Mr Monkey reckons he ‘s seen this style of writing on dozens of occasions since his blog first appeared.

Mr Monkey is going to spend the weekend going through all the archived comments to see if any pattern emerges and he’s also going to do some digging into who or what eurocar is and what link there is with South Tyneside Council – his findings will be posted next week.

In the meantime Mr Monkey can reveal that the eurocar e-mail address was first used by someone called Big Daddy on 1st November 2008 when he (the tone of this comment tells you he’s a man) left this comment

Get out ya dirty bastard we want to see some chicks, lasses with big tits in nurses uniforms.
No Bender Boys like Malcolm does. 

05
Jun
09

exclusive: mr monkey’s identity uncovered

 

The real Mr Monkey

The real Mr Monkey

EXCLUSIVE: Local sleuth The Fat Mackem Hobbit is this morning celebrating a scoop which is likely to see him shortlisted for the world renowned Pulitzer Prize Twat of the Year award for investigative journalism.  

After months of undercover detective work the Hobbit finally penetrated Mr Monkey’s inner sanctum and has now publicly revealed Mr Monkey’s true identity – it’s the elusive Walter Mitty.

Congratulations you your scoop Mr Hobbit, if you keep this up you won’t be on the sick much longer and who knows you could find yourself working for that other well known investigative journalist, Papa John Szymanski.

05
Jun
09

credit where credit’s due

It’s not often Mr Monkey thanks anyone especially the Fat Mackem Hobbit, aka Graham Rigg  over at the Shire, but credit where credit’s due.

It seems councillor David Potts, aka The King of Sleaze’s lackey has suddenly discovered – after being reminded by councillor Iain Malcolm – that comment moderation had been applied to Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Mr Monkey would like to thank the eagle eyed faggot – who is currently doing his thing over in France – for drawing the Fat Mackem Hobbit’s and therefore Mr Monkey’s attention to this oversight.

You’ll both be delighted to know that Mr Monkey has turned off comment moderation so all your comments will be immediately visible for all to see.

05
May
09

a sinking ship or wishful thinking?

Message to Graham Rigg and David Potts (I know they’re avid readers of this blog, so they’ll see this)

Over the past few days, Graham Rigg and David Potts have been having a right old time of it while Mr Monkey has been busy moving house.

Rigg, with plenty of time on his hands as an unemployed man whose been a bit of a failure in life (still in an upstairs flat in your mid 50s, Graham? There are crisis loans for things like that…) has thrown some horrific slurs his way.

But let us not forget: with more members than any of the other opposition groups, they’re still the biggest opposition group. They’re THE political success story in this borough’s history.

No political party has came anywhere near achieving their kind of success in modern times in South Tyneside.

The Tories have three councillors, as do the Lib Dems. The Tories havemade NO gains during David Potts tenure as leader, despite Labour disintegrating nationally over the past five years. Surely questions have to be asked about his competence?

The Progressives, once a dominant political force in the borough, have just five councillors and their hanging on by their finger tips. Take Jim Capstick he scrapped through by just three votes at the last elections.

So tell us, which group/party is doing things wrong…

I personally believe that Rigg and Potts hate the Independent Alliance because they don’t believe in democracy. They believe candidates should be vetted by old school parties, given the nod by party chiefs, and then step forward for election. It’s an insiders world, and they want it to stay that way.

Take councillor Ahmed Khan for instance, they don’t believe a member of the public, (A BLASTED OUTSIDER!) unsoiled by previous political roles, should stand and be duly elected. They don’t want to see the local political gentleman’s club fall apart, worse still their cosy little world being exposed for all to see.

Well Mr Monkey has news for Rigg, Potts and the ruling elite; there are more ‘councillor Khan’s’ on the way.

The Independents are still the official opposition group on the council. The Progressives also vote alongside them. They’re still close. They are a force to be reckoned with.

If you want confirmation of this go to the next council meeting on 12th May. You’re certain to see the Independent Alliance doing the job they were elected to do – oppose the ruling party. On the other hand you’ll see the Tories happily accepting a few tit-bits (PAID OF COURSE), handed out by Labour in a desperate attempt to buy their loyalty for the next 12 months.

Despite what Rigg says, since when have political groups standing in tinpot local elections had to have extensive manifestos and policies?

If so, point me in the direction of the weighty manifestos put forward by local councillors at the last election…You can’t – you’re talking bullshit. They put out double-sided A5 leaflets outlining how they’d improved their wards – they didn’t put out 20-year plans for tourism and business in the town.

At local level it’s about sound money, sound running of the council, competence, honesty and integrity. With a leader and deputy leader who’ve been big business successes themselves, I trust them to do just that.

Why aren’t they that forthcoming about what they “would” do? Probably because there’s no chance of them forming an executive to run the council for two or three years. So why live in fantasy land when they can tell the public what they’ll OPPOSE. When they’re close to seeing the opposition make it into power, they’ll tell the public what they’ll do. If the public like it, they’ll keep on voting. If they don’t, watch them lose their seats.

Just one question, Curly – do you ever get in touch with people you’re about to slur to ask for their take on your inaccurate claims?

Thought not.

Graham Rigg – sniggered at by Labour bosses, loathed by Independents, tolerated reluctantly by Tories.

'Amateur, photographer, amateur blogger, failed politician and general all round misfit desperate to be loved’

'Amateur, photographer, amateur blogger, failed politician and general all round misfit desperate to be loved’




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