Archive for the 'Whiteleas' Category

02
Jul
09

local conservatives party at your expense

'councillor Milburn consoles his leader after news broke that councillor Gibson got away with more expenses than he did'

'councillor Milburn consoles his leader after news broke that councillor Gibson got away with more expenses than he did'

Over the last couple of days Mr Monkey has been having another look at the expenses claims of Laurel and Hardy, the comedy duo who represent the Cleadon and East Boldon Ward, councillors Potts and Milburn.

Armed only with a diary, a calculator and a list of council committee meetings, Mr Monkey has come to the conclusion that Laurel and Hardy have been having a very fine time at the behest of the public purse. Readers will remember that Mr Monkey revealed Dumb and Dumber’s excessive expense claims in a previous post CLICK HERE

The King of Sleaze David Potts accumulated £3116.81 whilst attending the Local Government Association’s “Environment Board”, travelling up and down to London (with the odd overnight stop) via first class rail travel. Over £800 was pocketed claimed largely without the production of any receipts.

Likewise, councillor Milburn the Cleadon Plonky managed to rack up £3129.85, this time via the Local Government Associations “Strategy and Finance Board”. Not to miss out on any free money, £300 was paid out with no proof that it had actually been spent.

Those of you who frequent this site on a regular basis will not be surprised by these figures – councillor Potts has always been top of the class when it comes to sponging a publicly funded jaunt to London, a free bed for the night and a slap up meal to boot. Clearly, he has also created Milburn in his own image, indeed they both love nothing more than a good feed at the pig’s trough at the public’s expense of course. 

Whilst their greed may be galling, it’s surpassed by their total disregard for the people who elected them. Over a period of 6 consecutive LGA Environment Board meetings, cpunillor Potts never missed one of them. When it comes to 6 Community Area Forum meetings (the life blood of the councillor/electorate structure) all held within a couple of days of Potts’ trips to London, he managed to attend a grand total of ……0, zero, nil, zilch, none.

Councillor Milburn’s record is equally contemptible. 4 of his LGA Strategy and Finance Board meetings fell on the same day as his local CAF’s – Milburn chose to go to London on all four occasions, spending £1381 instead of representing those who elected him. Over the Council committee period 2008/2009, the 3 stooges – Conservative councillors for Cleadon and East Boldon (lets not forget the Donald Wood) – never managed to attend a CAF meeting as a trio. Pudgy Face Potts didn’t even manage to get his rather ample backside to one meeting, such is his laziness and contempt for the electorate.

So there you have it. When it comes to representing their communities, councillors David Potts and Jeffrey Milburn could not care less and would rather have a free couple of days in London, all paid for from the public purse.

Mr Monkey has this message for all you doubters out there … when you’re sitting in The Cottage or The Red Lion listening to the whines emanating from the mouths of Potts and Milburn as to how their reputations have been besmirched by The Monkey, remind them that all this information has been gleaned from the Councils own internet site. It’s free to use and free to see – the devil is in the detail, however, the devil is never in The Gazette!

01
Jul
09

councillor brady quizzed about assault and battery allegation

Senior Labour councillor and cabinet member councillor Bill Brady attended South Shields Police Station yesterday in relation to allegations of assault and battery.

Councillor Brady, aged 74, attended the police station voluntarily and was quizzed by police about the alleged incident which happened last Thursday after the Borough Council meeting was adjourned following chaotic scenes in the council chamber during which councillor Brady is alleged to have assaulted Indy councillor Geraldine White.

Police have this morning issued the following statement,

 “We can confirm that a 74 year-old man attended South Shields Police station voluntarily yesterday (Wednesday 1 July 2009) to assist officers with enquiries in relation to the alleged assault at the Town Hall, Westoe Road South Shields on Thursday 25 June.

“Enquiries in to the incident are continuing and there has been no arrests or charges at this stage.”

15
May
09

councillor gibson is top of the class when it comes to expenses

'Caught! Who's paying for that Ernest?'

'Caught! Who's paying for that Ernest?'

Over the last 2 days Mr Monkey has revealed how Conservative group leader David Potts, and his colleague Jeff Milburn have milked the expenses system by pocketing nearly £7,000 in just 12 months. CLICK HERE and HERE.

Today Mr Monkey can reveal that screwing the expenses system is not exclusively a Tory thing. It seems that the local Labour party were keen to get in on the act; they have the greediest bastard of them all.

According to figures released earlier this week, Labour councillor Ernest Gibson, who represents Whiteleas, tops the list when it comes to expense claims. In 2008 – 09 he claimed nearly £5, 000 for travel, hotels and subsistence – that’s almost £100 a week. 

Councillor Gibson who is renowned for his love of freebies and can more often than not be found downing large quantities of alcohol and stuffing his ample frame at the buffet table – all funded by the taxpayer – claimed £3,431 in travel expenses and £1,500 for hotels and meals.  

It seems councillor Gibson’s appetite for all things free and his desire to screw the system knows no bounds, but then Mr Monkey reckons he’ll tell the public that it’s all within the rules – so isn’t it time the rules were changed Ernest?

12
Mar
09

Updated – will ugly betty gets a nose job at the public’s expense?

'Nose job'

'Nose job'

Mr Monkey overheard an interesting conversation recently about The Patron Slut of Sailors, councillor Audrey McMillan and her rehabilitation back into Miss Piggy’s, aka councillor Iain Malcolm’s inner circle.

Councillor McMillan, ‘affectionaltey’ referred to as Ugly Betty by senior Labour councillors was distraught several year’s ago when she lost the chair of the planning committee.

This had nothing to do with the fact she lost her position but had everything to do with money, especially the prospect of losing her special responsibility allowance (£8000) and all the back handers she used to get.

Mr Monkey can also confirm that she was within a whisker of joining councillor Branley’s Indy Alliance – the only thing that put her off was money – she was worried she would not be able to retain her Beacon and Bents seat.

This did not stop her spending hours on the telephone complaining about anything and everyone and telling people how the Labour party was out to get her. She also got a reputation for crying and turning the tears on for effect.

Ugly Betty has never been well liked by her colleagues – females colleagues think she’s a slapper and will shag their husbands at the drop of a hat – just ask Sue Reynolds – male colleagues treat her as an easy fuck – ask Ron Reynolds.

But the ones that despised her the most were her own ward colleagues, Bilbo Baggins, aka councillor John Anglin and Alahbama John, aka John Morris Wood.

This scheming pair and their wives conspired to keep things away from Ugly Betty and worked tirelessly behind the scenes to get her deselected. They even paid Labour party membership fees for people to join the local party out of their own pockets so that they could count on their support when it came to selection meetings. At one stage the local Beacon and Bents Labour party was closed down by Labour North for suspected fraud, corruption and maladministration.

Since Alahbama John’s defeat at the elections in May 2008, Ugly Betty has gradually sleptsquirmed her way back into the in-crowd and has become best friends with councillor Anglin Bilbo Baggins. She’s also been given the chair of the Human Resources Committee which carries a special responsibility allowance.

Apparently Miss Piggy told Ugly Betty that under his regime he’s going to wrestle the power of senior appointments away from Irene Lucas and her minions and put it back in the hands of councillors.

Mr Monkey has now learned that Miss Piggy, aka Ian Malcolm is set to complete her rehabilitation by rewarding Ugly Betty with a place in his new look cabinet in May. Miss Piggy has told his close associates that he sees her as an ideal replacement for Bill ‘the buffoon’ Brady who currently holds the Equality and Diversity portfolio – something to do with reclaiming the Asian vote and reckons Ugly Betty is loved and respected by the Bengali community in Beacon and Bents, apparently that’s what his ex female companion Julie told him.

This chimp reckons that Ugly Betty has already spent the £10,000 and will be finishing off her nose job. Apparently her arse has more meat on it these days now that it doesn’t get as much exercise so the surgeons should be able to get a full nose out of it this time.

02
Mar
09

Mr Grumpy joins the misfits

Mr Grumpy, aka councillor Tom Defty showed his true colours at last week’s full council by joining the misfits

Mr Grumpy took advantage of councillor ‘Red Rum’ Elsom’s absence to sit in his seat next to the Whiteleas Lurch, aka councillor Haram and by doing so he announced to the world that he’s finally joined the misfits the real independents, a party made of disgruntled political prostitutes who’ll do anything for a quid.

Mr Monkey can’t wait to see what happens in May when Mr Grumpy and Red Rum Elsom battle it out for a seat on the freebies Pensions Committee and this chimp reckons Red Rum might fall at the last hurdle.

01
Mar
09

the drinks are on me!

'the beers are on the buffoon'

'the beers are on the buffoon'

At last week’s full council Bill ‘The Bufoon’ Brady was so moved by the topic under discussion that he got up to speak about it. The reason for councillor Brady’s dramatic outburst was alcohol.

The Buffoon wanted to remind all those present that the Whiteleas Alcohol Exclusion Zone didn’t mean people couldn’t have a drink and pointed out that the pubs and social clubs were still open for business. To shouts of “if you’re buying” councillor Brady then invited everyone to join him for a pint in Whiteleas.

Apparently The Buffoon gets a £10,000 a year special responsibility allowance for being in the decision making cabinet, the so called elite group of a handful of councillors that make all the decisions on how to spend our money.

If the Buffoon’s performance is anything to go by, Mr Monkey reckons it’s time that these senile old farts were put down out to pasture.

20
Feb
09

Twat of the week

'Casanova shares the Twat of The Week award with the Audit Commission'

'Casanova shares the Twat of The Week award with the Audit Commission'

This week Mr Monkey has taken the unusual step of splitting the The Twat of The Week award between two worthy winners – councillor Michael Clare and the Audit Commission

Bloggers will know that South Tyneside Council loves picking up worthless awards and accolades and then force feeding the public a diet of shit by telling us all how good they are.

Apparently council services are regularly audited by the Audit Commission so that government can check on performance and value for money.

Some people believe the Audit Commission is a toothless wonder that’s in the pocket of government and reguarly fails to detect poor financial management and bad practise.

Here in South Tyneside, it was the Audit Commission who failed to spot an £11 million plus black hole in the council finances and then couldn’t explain why they had signed off the council’s accounts.

Today Mr Monkey has learned that this inept organisation has revealed that South Tyneside has among the ‘best pavements’ in the region and the second best in North East England.

Mr Monkey reckons the inspectors that visited the borough must have been blind. Either that or The Dominatrix, aka Irene Lucas the chief executive of South Tyneside Council stage managed the visit?

This chimp reckons there’s no way the inspectors would have reached this conclusion by wandering round the streets of Horsley Hill, Biddick Hall, Jarrow, Hebburn, Whiteleas or Simonside and Rekendyke.

But what’s really depressing about this latest ‘award’ con is that councillor Michael Clare actually believes the shite being spewed out by the council’s press office.

Cum on Casanova (more of this later) everyone except the fuckwits in the cabinet and chief executive’s office knows that the borough’s pavements are in a terrible state – just ask the council’s insurance company who are increasingly being asked to pick up the tab when people sue!

12
Feb
09

EXCLUSIVE: Parents Anger At Councillors No Show

EXCLUSIVE: There were angry scenes at yesterday’s meeting arranged by the parents and carers of  pupils at Bamburgh School to discuss the closure of five special schools.

The meeting was held at South Tyneside District Hospital’s social club in Harton Lane and organisers had invited councillor Ernest Gibson to attend the meeting to outline more details about the proposals and to answer questions.

Councillor Gibson, who chaired the Scrutiny Commission on the Review of Special Educational Needs Provision agreed to attend and asked for the invitation to be extended to Councillor Jim Foreman, the cabinet member responsible for children and young people – the organisers agreed.

Parents, carers and teachers were dismayed and tempers flared as both councillors Gibson and Foreman failed to turn up to the meeting. One of the organisers called councillor Gibson who said that he couldn’t find the venue so wouldn’t be attending the meeting.

Organisers were also angry that Horsley Hill Labour councillors, Iain Malcolm – Miss Piggy and Eileen Leask – Vodka Lil – failed to turn up given that Bamburgh School is in their ward.

A number of parents and teachers addressed the meeting to express their anger at the contempt shown to both parents and pupils and the complacent attitude of the ruling Labour group. One speaker suggested that it was time to make some form of real protest that would make the council stand up and take notice.

Organisers concluded the meeting by asking Gordon Finch, the Independent Alliance councillor for Horsley Hill to address the meeting.

11
Feb
09

Red Rum Hands The Reigns To Lurch

Councillor George ‘Red Rum’ Elsom the fuckwit whose hobbies include climbing into wheelie bins in the dead of night has been told by his doctor to cut out the sunbeds because it’s frying his brain.

Although he’s taken his doctors advise Red Rum is worried that he could end up looking like a grey gelding at the Grand National.

Olive, his long suffering filly has stepped in and managed to persuade him to take a trip down under in a last ditched attempt to convince him that he’s not past it. Whilst the rest of us put up with Arctic conditions, Red Rum is suning himself down under and was last seen climbing into rbbish bins in the outback.

Before he left, Red Rum handed over the reigns of the Real Independent Party to his lackey councillor Terry Haram, aka the Whiteleas Lurch.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering what Lurch is going to do without Red Rum other than argue with himself in the bathroom mirror. Although he could kick the borough’s political whore, Paul Walker, about for the next 4 weeks but he’d have to pry him away from the grasp of the Witches of West Park, aka the Ugly Sisters.

10
Feb
09

The Buffon and The Hogg

Bill 'The Buffoon' Brady is set to be replaced by The Hogg

Bill 'The Buffoon' Brady is set to be replaced by The Hogg

Mr Monkey heard an interesting conversation in the members lounge recently about the impending sacking retirement of councillor Bill ‘The Buffoon’ Brady.

Apparently councillors Iain Malcolm and Barry Scorer have been secretly meeting to discuss their make up and things girlie the new cabinet and they’ve decided it’s time to get rid of The Buffoon .

As a sweetener, to protect his income they intend to offer him the chair of one of the lesser committees at this year’s Annual General Meeting, better known as the SWEETIE SHOP. This is when the piglets Labour councillors gather round Miss Piggy’s – aka Iain Malcolm’s – trough to see what scraps the old sow will throw at them.

Mr Monkey has learned that The Buffoon already suspects he’s about to be sacked from the cabinet and has started putting it about that he intends to retire in 2010 and not seek re-election. But like all Labour councillors he cannot leave without having the last word.

The Buffoon is trying to manoeuvre his 19 year old grandson, aptly named David Hogg into the vacant seat to ensure the Brady line continues, despite the fact that he has no political credentials other than being a member of the Westoe Labour party.

That said, he’s already got a reputation for being a piss head and is increasingly seen enjoying free hospitality at the expense of the council tax payer. This year he joined a select band of Labour councillors stuffing their faces and drinking whatever they could get their hands on at the Great North Run hospitality tent. He’s also got a reputation for being a lazy bastard who can’t get up in a morning; probably something to do with the fact that he works in the Atlantic and Vibe nightclubs.

With credentials like these he seems an ideal choice for Iain Malcolm’s sleazy world of local Labour politics.




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