Greens Corrupted By Having A Leader

Local Green Party activists have spent the weekend crying into their organic peppermint tea following the radical decision by it’s members to elect a leader like other parties!

So after years of having one male and one female principal speaker, they have finally decided to take the radical step of electing a single leader.

However, everything is far from rosy in the commune with some prominent hippies members believing the party will lose it’s weirdo appeal fail to maintain it’s ‘refreshing distinctivness’ image and should not have been “sucked in” to having a figurehead like other parties who many people believe are increasingley seen as bunches of liars, hypocrites and suits on the make.

The controversial decision to elect a leader was taken around 12 months ago and this is what former male Principle Speaker, Derek Wall had to say on the subject: 

“I do think being called a leader has the potential to corrupt. I have no easy answers, I won’t tell you any comforting lies but I know my history and I can recognise a trap however well disguised. Virtually every radical movement in history has been sucked in and domesticated. Socialism led to Stalin and Tony Blair. The Romans deposed their kings, built a republic and replaced it with empire. Jesus preached humility but under Constantine was used to christen an autocracy. The history of struggle is one of repetition, with radicals bought off, killed off or brain washed into submission. John Prescott used to be a union man; Gordon Brown used to be socialist. Politics can be like a gerbil cage. You go up and up and up to the top slot but with compromises to get their you crash back like the fallen radicals. Green politics cannot fail – we have a world to save. If we win power but at the cost of our ideals, that really would be a catastrophe.”

Just imagine if they had to make a realy important decision like should they or shouldn’t they wipe their arse when they shit. After all the environmental impact of Andrex could be catastrophic for the world!


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