Archive for October, 2008


Mayor Hands Waggott £2500 Scroll.

When it comes to wasting taxpayers money on themselves no one does it better than the local Labour party.

There’s no better example of this than the shameful way councillor Iain Malcolm and his highwaymen have robbed the public purse to reward their former leader Paul Waggott for losing his seat to Indy Alliance councillor Geraldine White.

These bloodsuckers had the balls to try and justify this cynical misuse of taxpayers money by awarding election loser Waggott with Freedom of the Borough.

In a defiant ‘fuck you gesture’ the local Labour party had the cheek to hold a lavish £50 a head dinner in the town hall to “celebrate Paul Waggott’s life on the council”. This ‘gesture’ cost local taxpayers over £2500.

It seems Iain Malcolm’s genorsity knows no bounds when it comes to spending public money and this exclusive Labour party bash was just the tip of the iceberg.

Mr Monkey can reveal that Paul Waggott was presented with an illuminated scroll on Friday evening by the mayor, councillor Alec Donaldson on behalf of the Labour party‘grateful people’ of South Tyneside!

This small piece of parchment came in an engraved silver casket and cost the taxpayer another £2500. Those present were also presented with a memento of the occasion in the form of a timepiece.

After the formal part of the ceremony Labour councillors, friends and supporters of Waggott, The King of Sleaze and Pussy Prowler councillor David Potts and a handful of council officers retired for nibbles and drinks .. at our expense of course!

It may come as a surprise to Dick TurpinIain Malcolm, but the vast majority of people are disgusted by his generosity and the blatant misuse of their money and like Mr Waggott, he will pay the ultimate price in 2011.

That’s assuming his generosity in awarding £8.5 million pay off to his former friends colleagues at Newcastle Airport doesn’t bring him down first!


Miliband Snubs Waggott

South Shields MP and Foreign Secretary David Miliband appears to want nothing to do with Labour’s cheapening of the Freedom of Borough award.

Mr Monkey, who attended Friday’s formal ceremony in the town hall can confirm that Mr Miliband was not in attendance despite being sent an invitation. Seems he was conveniently otherwise engaged.

Mr Miliband refused to attend was also absent from the infamous £50 a head Labour party bash paid for by taxpayer; to “celebrate Mr Waggott’s life on the council”.

Current leader, councillor Iain Malcolm made a shameful attempt to justify this disgraceful waste of taxpayers money when he was challenged by the press by claiming it was a chance to network. CLICK HERE. 

Try using the phone you spineless twat!

Mr Monkey also noticed that Iain Malcolm’s nemesis, friend of Mr Miliband, Freeman of the Borough and former South Shields MP Dr David Clarke also snubbed was missing from the lets lick Waggott’s arse do on Friday night.

Older bloggers will remember the cat fights in the 80s and 90s between the South Shields and Jarrow Labour parties and the emergence of the A and B teams. It seems somethings never change.

Mr Monkey can confirm that the Jarrow Mob were out in force and even ‘I’ll drive if I want to’ councillor McAtominey had the nerve to second the formal proposal.

Also paying homage were Lord and Lady Dixon and the Malcolm arse whipper kicker, Jarrow MP Stephen Hepburn. But then there was free beer to be had and Linda was there to pick him up if he fell over.

Mr Monkey congratulates David Miliband for having the common sense to stay away. His absence makes it clear what he really thinks about his colleagues blatant misuse of power .. but we all know what he thinks of Iain Malcolm don’t we?


Papa John Caught With His Pants Down

Good to see Papa John Szymanski, editor of the Gazette Malcolm Fanzine has finally caught up with Mr Monkey. CLICK HERE.

Unfortunately Mr Monkey was one step ahead of Papa John and broke the news of the robbery before he had time to put on his Burton’s suit.

Mr Monkey offers this piece of advice to Papa John; get yourself down to Greggs, they’ve got a buy one get one free sale on this week so you can stuff your face at half the price!


Curly and The Monkey

Seems the Mackem Hobbit over at the Corner Shop is determined to help Mr Monkey’s Blog become the number one blog in South Tyneside.

Mr Monkey is confused by this sudden change of heart because last week the Mackem Hobbit aka Curly, was telling the world that only “half a dozen people” visit the “other South Tyneside odious disreputable blog”.

It now seems he must have been talking about another blog because hundreds of people, including the Mackem Hobbit visit Mr Monkey’s Blog daily.

Unlike the Mackem Hobbit Mr Monkey has no need to link to other bigger blogs or use search engine friendly words and phrases in an attempt to drive up hits. He’ll leave that to the Hobbit whose doing a canny job on Mr Monkey’s behalf.


Ed Malcolm Runs Out of Coal!

Mr Monkey had an interesting conversation with an old miner in Houghton yesterday.

Seems that Ed Malcolm’s attempt to become an MP on the back of his “I used to be a miner” scam may have been scuppered by Mr Monkey.

If Ed Malcolm’s reaction in the members room to the last post about his attempts to hijack the Houghton and Washington East seat, where he went ballistic, are anything to go by, this one will have him jumping out of the window!

The old miner who Mr Monkey will call Arthur is a well known locally and unlike Ed ‘I used to be a miner’ Malcolm, Arthur spent more than 40 years working on the face at various collieries across County Durham.

Arthur reckons that until Mr Monkey exposed the other side of Ed Malcolm, he was the definite front runner for the nomination. But it now seems someone has tipped off bloggers in the Houghton area and Mr Monkey’s Blog is the talk of the pubs and clubs.

Suddenly questions are being asked about Ed and his brother Iain’s backgrounds and the silence surrounding Iain’s role in the Newcastle Airport fiasco have raised a few eyebrows.

Seems local party members are now demanding answers and Ed’s position is looking a little precarious.


EXCLUSIVE: Robbery in East Boldon

Police are appealing for witnesses after two men believed to be in their late 20s robbed a store in East Boldon.

The robbery took place around 7.20pm on Monday Oct 27th at Sainsburys on Station Terrace, East Boldon. The cashier was pushed to one side before the two men fled with a quantity of cash.

Anyone with any information is asked to contact the police on 03456 043043.


Curly Exposed ..

Damn it The Mackem Hobbit aka Curly has spoilt Mr Monkey’s latest Monkey Puzzle. CLICK HERE.

The Monkey Puzzle normally runs for a week before Mr Monkey reveals the answer. Unfortunately The Mackem Hobbit has admitted within a few hours that he is the local blogger with a police connection and is “sorry to be a spoiler”.

Don’t be silly you fat little hobbit, you’ve confirmed what many people suspected; you probably had an inside source for some of you’re ‘exclusives’.

Keep an eye out for Monkey Puzzle 7.


Potts Joins The Labour Benches

The King of Sleaze, disgraced Tory councillor David Potts has pulled some stupid fucking stunts in his time but what Mr Monkey witnessed on Friday night at Waggott’s Freedom of the Borough bash has got to top the lot.


The first part of the ‘lets pay homage to our fallen comrade’ charade was held in the council chamber.


Around 110 people attended the formal presentation with Labour councillors, the King of Sleaze and of all people, Jim Capstick taking up seats in the chamber.


Given that the evening was only taking place because Tory Boy Potts – the Boldon Pussy Prowler, forced his two colleagues in to voting for the motion to reward Waggott, it was was fitting that The King of Sleaze swapped his usual place on the opposition benches for a seat on Labour’s front bench.


Yes the arsehole had the audacity to cross the floor and join his Labour lackies on their side of the chamber.


And out of all the people he decided to sit next, he parked his portly arse next to Shrek aka councillor Ernest Gibson. This is the man Pudgy Face vehemently hates because he exposed him as the most likely person behind the Brenda fiasco.


Mr Monkey still can’t get over what he witnessed on Friday but now he’s had time to think about it Mr Monkey reckons he was trying out the seat for size.


Cum May 2010 if Potts is re-elected he’ll have nowhere else to go, that assumes Malcolm has a use for him!


Monkey Puzzle 6

After a brief absence the Monkey Puzzle is back.


This week’s Monkey Puzzle is dedicated to all the bloggers that read Mr Monkey’s Blog and those of you who are obsessed with keeping everything swept under the carpet.


This week’s puzzle is..


‘Which local blogger had a brother in the police force?’


Perhaps this explains how this person has Papa John Szymanski over at the The Gazette Malcolm Fanzine pulling what little hair he has left out of his head when he’s scooped by this insignificant individual.


Let’s hope for both their sakes it’s just a coincidence otherwise they could both be in a spot of bother.


Morning Pussy Prowler!

Mr Monkey has an early morning rendezvous in Houghton this morning, something to do with councillor Ed Malcolm. 


Like thousands of other people he forgot to turn his alarm clock back at the weekend so he’s got an hour spare and thought he’d put it to good use.


Seems The King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts failed to get shag last night so he’s had to make do with a few extra gins and a hand job so it will be a while before he surfaces from his drunken pit.


Mr Monkey thought he would be the bearer of good news this morning especially as he had a major role to play in his Tory Boy’s downfall by getting him dumped as the Conservative Parliamentary candidate for Edinburgh South West.


It seems his former Scottish colleagues have learned by their mistakes and have chosen his replacement wisely. Whilst they’ve opted for someone in the Potts mould (without the beef), they’ve been careful to make sure that his replacement comes without the baggage and sleaze associated with Pudgy Face.


They also wanted to keep things local after councillor Potts’s failure to do any campaigning in the constituency.


Mr Monkey reckons sleaze ball Potts knows his replacement well. He’s about the same age as Pudgy, is a local councillor, he’s employed in the legal profession (yes you pussy prowler, that’s work) and is an active member of the local Conservative party, something Potts knows nothing about.


His name is Jason Rust and you can read more about him here, here and here 


Seems Alistair Darling’s new opponent might give him a run for his money, something Potts was never likely to do!



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