Whisky in The Jar

Poor old councillor Alec Donaldson, the Mayor of South Tyneside has been caught out again by a cheeky thief. It seems this petty criminal is able to wander round the town hall at leisure and has a fetish for the Mayor’s whisky jar. CLICK HERE.

Councillor Donaldson, who remains true to his Scottish heritage by knocking back a few whiskies before he dons the mayoral chains, uses one of his empties – a gallon whisky bottle – as a money box to collect a few quid for charity. The problem is he can’t seem to keep hold of it for too long.

Poor old Alec is either too pissed to remember or is getting on bit and keeps forgetting to lock the door to his parlour. Mr Monkey reckons it’s time someone reminded the forgetful twat that as the Mayor he’s responsible for the Mayoral regalia and if it goes walkabout even his mate Miss Piggy aka councillor Iain Malcolm will not be able to save his arse .. an him being a retired policeman!


4 Responses to “Whisky in The Jar”

  1. 1 Glen Morangie
    27/11/2008 at 01:25

    who mentioned Whisky u takin the piss out of my Eddie hic

  2. 2 Irving Washington (The Last)
    29/11/2008 at 22:43

    Poor old Mayor Donaldson – his greatest mistake was putting his change in a whisky bottle. The list of culprits is as follows, based on the fact that they are so stupid they assumed the bottle was still full of the old liquid gold:

    Councillor Ernest Gibson – if it’s wet, he’ll drink it.

    Councillor Eddie McAtominey – postcards to “Durham Jail”.

    Councillor John Anglin – resident, Brigham and Cowan’s WMC, and a Deputy Mayor who will walk a mile to abuse his position of office.

    Councillor Eileen Leask – well, you said it all Mr Monkey.

    Councillors Double I Malcolm and his brother Ed The Talking Horse – please indulge me Mr Monkey and let me take the liberty of including my own “clip” – consider it a snap shot of the Malcolm family album. Currently both last seen in the gutter next to “The Fountain” pub.

    Councillor John McCabe – piss head, Stella drinker, wife beater, ex copper and no doubt protected by the Freemasons (as well as his brother, custody sergeant, His Majesty’s Constabulary, Jarrow Area).

    Councillor Audrey McMillan – likes the hard stuff, especially down by the docks.

    Councillor Jeffrey Milburn – a Cottager by habitat, pigswill by nature.

    Councillor Donald Wood – likes his drink young and sweet.

    Councillor George Elsom – the duplicity of the man is an indication of his permanently pissed state.

    Councillor Victor Thompson – I can only assume that his total inability to speak at Council meetings is due to fact that he is legless.

    Councillors Jane and Allen Branley – consumers of anything labelled “Shato – Nuf – Du –Pap”.

    The only Councillor excluded from the list is Ahmed Khan – he doesn’t drink!

    The list ultimately is endless, but let me end it with this name – the “The Usual Suspect(s)” – Cleadon and Boldon’s own wandering piss head – Conservative Councillor, well-known antagonist of the BNP and supporter of taxi driver’s -David Potts. Rejected by the Scots for being to drunk! Even Edinburgh’s own Inspector Rebus would be suspicious of his alcohol-fuelled presence within the proximity of Donaldson’s Chamber. He stole from the electorate, and without his fiddled rail expense claims and the additional top up of his student grant, Potts must be short of a penny or two.

    Sadly you must also indulge me this one last final post.

    For me Mr Monkey, it is time to move on. Censoring letters has reached its peak and I must move over to pastures and blogs a-new.

    You have entertained me no end over the last few months, and I wish you the best in your endeavours and undoubted ability to ruffle feathers. In the words of Lance Corporal Jones – you must pursue the adage that “they don’t like it up em!”.

    As for the rest of them – OK, give him credit, he encourages debate – but I need Curly to survive so I can reveal him as the right wing bigoted little fucker that he is.

    Rossinisbird – you’re a crawler and closet fascist. Get wise – Potts is an opportunist and you fell for it! What a tree little hugging tit you are. Get in the real world – its called South Tyneside!

    Tyne Dock Green – you’re a poor excuse for a man. You must bore your friends into the transcendental comas that is the world you inhabit. Either marry Rossinisbird, wank yourself, or get a life!

    Salutation comrades – to the future!

    30/11/2008 at 12:42

    Sorry to see u go Mr Washington.

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