The Shields Gazette is Doomed

Anyone unlucky enough to have bought yesterday’s Shields Gazette will probably feel that they’ve been ripped off.

Tuesday 25th November 2008 will go down in history as the day that marked the beginning of the end for Britain’s oldest provincial newspaper. 

So get yourself a copy of yesterday’s Gazette and store it in the loft – it could be worth a few bob in years to come.

Mr Monkey would like to congratulate Papa John Szymanski, the editor responsible for yesterday’s ‘newspaper’ for finally achieving what no editor in nearly  160 years has manged to achieve; publish a newspaper with no news.

Papa John, the inept editor of our once proud newspaper has at last confirmed what Mr Monkey has suspected for a long time; that he is councillor IainMalcolm’s lackey. Yesterday’s paper was filled with pictures of Labour councillors, council spin and re-worked council press releases.

For real local, regional and national news you should have bought either the Journal, the Chronicle or one of the nationals.

Integrity, professionalism, journalistic pride, unbiased reporting and investigative journalism have been swapped for a few sausage rolls and a taste of Malcolm’s arse – Papa John Szymanski has got his head so far up Iain Malcom’s arse that all you can see of him is the tread on his trainers.

Mr Monkey fully acknowledges that the Gazette has the right to support whatever political party it chooses but don’t ram it down our throats.

Papa John has taken his own political bias to a new level. He’s now nothing more than a mouthpiece for the Iain Malcolm and the council’s spin merchants – just stop calling the Shields Gazette a newspaper when all it’s fit for is cutting it into squares and hung on a hook in the netty!

There’s an idea Mr Szymanski- instead of free pizza vouchers why not give away a pair of scissors with every copy?


7 Responses to “The Shields Gazette is Doomed”

  1. 1 Irving Washington
    26/11/2008 at 09:20

    I wrote to The Gazette well over a year ago complaining that many of their articles were reproductions of Council press releases, including huge chunks which were regurgitated word for word. The journalist who qualifies for “Most Lazy Writer of the Year” is Paul “The Hyphen” Myles – Kelly – he should be charged with plagiarism such is his propensity to reprint what the Council tell him. Perhaps he should remove his designer glasses and have another look at some of the awful propaganda that he has been responsible for over the last couple of years.

  2. 2 Mr Monkey
    26/11/2008 at 10:55

    and did you get a reply?

  3. 3 Jonny
    26/11/2008 at 12:06

    the Gazette has been a waste of space for years. I would say that is only worth wrapping fish and chips in but that would be unfair on the fish and chips.

  4. 4 Irving Washington
    26/11/2008 at 16:31

    Nothing at all

  5. 5 Mr Monkey
    26/11/2008 at 17:23

    Why am I not suprised?

  6. 6 Robert Maxwell
    26/11/2008 at 20:54

    I am sick of leaving black marks on me arse when i wipe it with the Gazette, that’s all the twats good for.

  7. 7 Mr Monkey
    27/11/2008 at 12:22

    It’s not even good for that if the ink runs.

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