This post may have put paid to Ed Malcolm’s political ambitions. Apparently he’s desperate to become an MP and is currently trying to sweet talk his way into getting the nomination for the Houghton and Washington East seat which Fraser Kemp will be vacating at the next election.
Big Ed and His Small Feet ..
Whilst troupe members were busy frolicking about earlier today The Monkey noticed that some members of the troupe had bigger feet and penises than others. The Monkey wonders whether the same can be said of humans.
Apparently there is a theory that the size of an individuals feet directly correlates to they size of their penis i.e. small feet, small penis.
The Monkey recalls having a cosy chat with Coun Ed Malcolm recently during which the size of Ed’s feet left a lasting impression on The Monkey – they are so tiny The Monkey reckons he gets his footwear from the childrens section at Clarkes or perhaps even Toys R Us!
As for the other part of the theory, The Monkeyhas been unable to get Coun Olive Punchion to confirm or deny whether Ed’s penis reflects the size of his feet, however, the grin on her face suggests that the theory may be just an old wife’s tale.
Maybe this explains why married women like councillor Olive Punchion have spent year’s playing with ‘Big Ed’s’ dick toes.