REVIEW OF 2008: Has Waggott Stabbed McAtominey in The Back?

This post first appeared after Steady Eddie’s first arrest on suspicion of drink driving. He protested his innocence and said he’d fight to clear his name.


Steady Eddie spent the next 8 months wasting the police and court’s time pleading not guilty and using every trick in the book to wriggle out of being convicted. But Mr Monkey reckons he was trying to protect his lucrative paid positions on the council and the police authority.


Unfortunately for the borough’s number one pisshead, he was caught drink driving a second time. This time he pleaded guilty, was banned from driving and was forced out resigned from his paid positions.


He decided to change his plea to his first offence and was rightly convicted of failing to provide a specimen.


Councillor McAtominey offered no apology for wasting thousands of pounds of public money, instead we had to listen to yet another sob story about his illness and how it had caused him to turn to drink.


What a lying bastard, ask anyone in the Labour party about his drinking habits and they’ll tell you he’s always been a pisshead and has never been able to control his excessive drinking.


Reports have reached The Monkey that Paul Waggott is the latest suspect in the Eddie McAtominey saga. ‘Steady Eddie’ as he has become known, believes that he was deliberately set up by someone in an attempt to get rid of him, he claims the police were lying in wait when he fell out of the pub pissed as a fart – nothing to do with good policing and vigilant officers then!


According to a source close to ‘Steady Eddie’ the number one suspect has always been Iain Malcolm as he clearly stood to gain most from the demise of his number one foe.  However, it has now emerged that former council leader Paul Waggott who was rejected by the people of Fellgate and Hedworth planned on making a quicker than expected comeback.


Apparently Waggott has earmarked ‘Steady Eddie’s’ seat if as suspected he gets the boot in August.


The Monkey reckons this explains the sudden burst of activity in the town hall to stitch up bestow the honorary title of Freedom of the Borough on Paul Waggott – talk about killing two birds with one stone. 


This leaves Iain Malcolm with a dilemma of immense proportions, who does he hate most ‘Steady Eddie’ or ‘The Poison Dwarf’?


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