The Curse of The Monkey Strikes Again

Having put an end to the political ambitions of The King of Sleaze, Tory Boy, David Potts, Mr Monkey turned his attention to the runt of the Malcolm clan, councillor Ed Malcolm.

Apparently the Malcolms Chuckle Brothers fancied their chances of capturing the Labour nomination for the Parliamentary seat of Houghton and Washington East after sitting MP Fraser Kemp announced his intention to stand down.

The scandal surrounding the payments at Newcastle Airport and councillor Iain Malcolm’s role in this murky affair put paid to any chance he had of grabbing the seat and this left the way clear for brother Ed.

Ed’s advisers and supporters did their best to hide his colourful past and dubious character but failed to control Mr Monkey and it now seems Ed has paid the ultimate price.

In a surprise move worthy of the Chuckle Brothers, Labour HQ has now imposed an all women’s shortlist on the constituency. This effectively eliminates any chance Ed had of fiddling stealing the nomination.

Ed announced his intention to seek the nomination in autumn and has tried every trick in the book to cheat his way to power. Yet within days of the ballot, the poor bastard has had his plans scuppered and his dubious past has come back to haunt him and Mr Monkey is delighted to have played his part in Ed’s demise.

How ironic then that a favourite tactic of the MalcolmsChuckle Brothers and their supporters to get rid of theircritics was used so successfully to put an end to Ed’s political ambitions.

Mr Monkey reckons former colleagues John Hodgson, John Watson and Tom Defty will tonight be raising a glass to Mr Monkey and the genius behind the plot to rid Houghton and Washington East of Ed Malcolm.

Seems Billy Malcolm’s vision for his boys will never be realised and they’ll remain tied to their mam’s apron strings forever.

Anyone else out their fancy thier chances of making it to Westminster – if so you’ll need to get past Mr Monkey first.


1 Response to “The Curse of The Monkey Strikes Again”

  1. 1 Jo
    21/01/2009 at 19:14

    Mr Monkey’s paw curses whoever touches it!

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