Woolly Mammoth Sighted On The Lawe Top

The Lawe Top has a long and chequered history dating back to the Brigantes, but it now seems that archaeologists have discovered traces of a human settlement dating back to the last ice age.

Apparently they’ve unearthed the remains of what is believed to be a ice age settlement and their find includes several unusual bones thought to be that of a saber tooth tiger and a woolly mammoth.

Until now these creatures were thought to have been extinct but judging by Ugly Betty’s picture that appeared in Saturday’s Gazette it seems that there’s a modern day ancestor of the woolly mammoth alive an well and living on the Lawe Top – if you noticed her eyebrows you’ll have seen a striking resemblance.

Mr Monkey appreciates that Ugly Betty needed a nose job (she was born with a stub) and this is why she had some of her arse stitched on to her face. But transplanting bits of your minge above your eyes to give you fuller brows is taking the biscuit – even for you.

A mammoth needed hairy eyebrows to protect its eyes from the ice and snow but what’s your excuse?


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