06
Feb
09

Twat of The Week

This week’s Twat of The Week Award was a close run thing with two of the borough’s largest egos going head to head.

The contenders were:

Papa John Szymanski – editor of the Shields Gazette Malcolm Fanzine.

He tried to con the people of Hebburn and Jarrow into believing that his local evening loo paper cares about them. After months of planning, he’s come up with a novel way of woeing his readers back – he’s given them their own website. But he’s left out the fact that he was the man behind the decision to stop publishing a Jarrow and Hebburn edition of the Gazette in the first place.

The Fat Mackem Hobbit – South Tyneside’s all seeing eye.

Known as Mr Ego and disparagingly called Inspector Clouseauless by his ‘mates’, this individual’s knowledge of all things South Tyneside is second to none – or so he claims.

He’s spent all his life in South Tyneside, taking pictures, exploring every hidden street and travelling to and from B & Q on Secretan Way, off Station Rd (opposite Tedco) were he spent the latter part of his working his life mixing paint.

You would expect his geographical knowledge to match his ego.

Earlier in the week he claimed to have found Mr Monkey’s secret lair, apparently the chimp has been hiding out at STCentral TV’s studios on River Drive. He also reckons that the owners of the company would have received a “knock or two from their Independent Councillor over the past two year’s”.

'Twat of The Week'

'Twat of The Week'

Having considered both candidates submissions carefully Mr Monkey has decided to award this week’s Twat of The Week Award to The Fat Mackem Hobbit and this is why:

  • STCentral TV is not based on River Drive but at  Tedco Business Works, Henry Robson Way, off Station Rd (opposite B & Q), you’ve passed it for years you fuckwit and there’s only been an Independent councillor in this area for 9 months and not 2 years.

As for Papa John Szyamanski, he can bet his last sausage roll on the fact that he’ll pick up the award sometime soon.

Advertisements

6 Responses to “Twat of The Week”


  1. 06/02/2009 at 14:33

    I’ll have you know that Graham was probably the best Trading Operations manager that the South Shields store had in many a year. A real grafter who was popular with all of the staff. He was not the type to hide in the back office but would always be seen helping us out. Ahmed Khan and a few other councillors received excellent personal service from him, and I remember the amount of times he was in getting paint mixed, a regular shopper was he. Graham didn’t hide and leave the work to junior staff (or family), and he helped us get excellent profit bonuses with his cost controls and staedy management and knowledge of the business. I’m sure many learned valuable lessons from him.
    He was a hard act to follow.

    Do you never see a real twat when you look in the mirror you ignoramus?

  2. 2 The Blue Lion
    06/02/2009 at 17:37

    Hi Graham!

  3. 3 Rubber nob
    06/02/2009 at 18:02

    looks like he must been stuck reet up you Diane, i always thought he preferd broon holes.
    I bet when you look in the mirror you imagine a muscle bound paratrooper bucking u silly, but instead it was plastic action man herr rigg.
    whatafuckingletdown.

  4. 4 Beanz Meanz Trouble
    06/02/2009 at 20:27

    I demand that you remove Herr Riggs face before the 9 p.m. watershed.

    Children may be watching Mr Monkey – have you no morals?

    Or, is the South Tyneside Premier Twitcher watching the children – perhaps the police should be told!

    Click, click folks!

  5. 5 Scotty
    07/02/2009 at 13:49

    What’s Mr Khan and other councillors shopping habbits got to do with Mr Rigg’s career at B and Q?

  6. 6 John Wayne
    08/02/2009 at 07:37

    Guess what? I saw several councillors in Morrison’s yesterday and they had groceries in their trolley. I thought Dianne should know they do everyday things like you and me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: