11
Feb
09

Red Rum Hands The Reigns To Lurch

Councillor George ‘Red Rum’ Elsom the fuckwit whose hobbies include climbing into wheelie bins in the dead of night has been told by his doctor to cut out the sunbeds because it’s frying his brain.

Although he’s taken his doctors advise Red Rum is worried that he could end up looking like a grey gelding at the Grand National.

Olive, his long suffering filly has stepped in and managed to persuade him to take a trip down under in a last ditched attempt to convince him that he’s not past it. Whilst the rest of us put up with Arctic conditions, Red Rum is suning himself down under and was last seen climbing into rbbish bins in the outback.

Before he left, Red Rum handed over the reigns of the Real Independent Party to his lackey councillor Terry Haram, aka the Whiteleas Lurch.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering what Lurch is going to do without Red Rum other than argue with himself in the bathroom mirror. Although he could kick the borough’s political whore, Paul Walker, about for the next 4 weeks but he’d have to pry him away from the grasp of the Witches of West Park, aka the Ugly Sisters.

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