25
Feb
09

Tory Totty

'Tory totty'

'Tory totty'

So the worst kept secret in the South Shields Conservative party is out – Karen Allen has been selected as the Tory candidate to challenge ‘numb nuts’ Miliband at the next general election.

Mr Monkey would like to offer his congratulations to Karen for getting the nomination and for stopping The King of Sleaze, aka Tory Boy David Potts from being thrust on the good people of South Shields.

Apparently ‘local’ lass Karen is relishing the prospect of fighting her first election campaign in her home town, but as with most politicians, everything is not what it seems.

Karen is was a local lass until she moved to London in 2001 to study. She never returned to the North East, insteaed she stayed in London and got herself a well paid ‘city’ job with Lloyds of London.

Mr Monkey has no problem with this but don’t con people into thinking your something you’re not; a local lass. If you work in London – and if Mr Monkey’s sucpisions are right – you probably own a house in London, you must live in London.

Mr Monkey reckons she ‘s one of those people who will use her ‘working class’ roots here in South Shields to suit her needs and will keep ramming it down our throats until the election.

But this chimp reckons that since 2001 she spent less and less time in South Shields and now only returns for birthdays, weddings, christenings, funerals and Christmases – until now!

All that is about to change – at least until the general election as she tries to con the people of South Shields into thinking she’s the girl next door. But Mr Monkey reckons her new found love for Shields will be short lived; she’s not going to win the seat and will disappear back to London the day after the election.

At least Karen is set to bring some glamour to the local political scene and it’ll make a pleasant change from looking at all those wizened old ugly bitches in the Labour party.

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2 Responses to “Tory Totty”


  1. 1 Mystic Meg
    25/02/2009 at 10:31

    I’ve had the old crystal ball out, and I predict that as Herr Rigg at his Corner Shop no longer has a certain Ms Palin to cast his beady eye over, Karen Allen will become the new object of his desire. As I type this he will no doubt be combing the internet to attire her in clothing of his choice, just as he did with America’s answer to Jacqui Smith.

    If Karen has any sense, she will stay in London and resist the advances of South Tyneside’s Premier internet stalker.

  2. 2 Blogwatcher
    27/02/2009 at 07:29

    The Gazette’s picture has far more sex appeal than this one.


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