04
Mar
09

donkey to become mayor

'The next deputy mayor but who'll be his consort?'

'The next deputy mayor but who'll be his consort?'

It seems South Tyneside council’s ruling Labour group is set to take the piss out of the people of the borough by following Hartlepool’s example and opting for animal as it’s mayor.

A source close to the ‘old fish wife’, aka councillor Barry Scorer has confirmed that the next deputy mayor – who by default becomes mayor – is none other than Donkey, aka councillor urgh, urgh Sewell.

There’s currently a debate raging in the Labour party about who his deputy mayoress is likely to be given that the dirty bastard was caught cheating on his wife. Although Mr Monkey has learned she’s recently allowed him back into her life now that he’s washed his dick and promised not to wander again.

Mr Monkey reckons he’s bribed her with an offer to become mayoress, but he’s now worried that his best mate Shrek, aka councillor Gibson will spill the beans on what they really get up to when they’re out on the drink, especially as he feels he’s been stabbed in the back and is unlikely to become Donkey’s consort.

Whatever happens, the mayor’s parlour is certain to become a drinking den, at our expense and Dorothy Wilcox won’t take too well to mucking out – it couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

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2 Responses to “donkey to become mayor”


  1. 1 bob the taxi driver
    04/03/2009 at 17:25

    seems a bit wide of the mark mr m sewell is up for election in 2010 and if John Hodgeson pulls off another labour scalp the ruling party would have egg on thier faces – no mayor.

  2. 2 Mr Monkey
    04/03/2009 at 21:19

    That might be part of the Malcolm masterplan.


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