their worst nightmare: Mr Monkey returns!

'Hero worship - coun Iain Malcolm is set to join an exclusive club of election fraudsters headed by his political hero Robert Mugabe'

'Hero worship - coun Iain Malcolm is set to join an exclusive club of election fraudsters headed by his political hero Robert Mugabe'

It seems Mr Monkey’s sudden disappearance has resulted in all kinds of speculation as to his whereabouts, with politicians, council officers and bloggers all left wondering what’s happened to this naughty chimp.

Mr Monkey reckons that for the last 7 days the borough’s political elite, senior council officers and Mr Grumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski at the Gazette have been hoping and praying that their nightmare was finally over and that the chimp’s sudden silence finally signalled the end of Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Sorry to disappoint you miserable bastards but nothing could be further from the truth – you’re nightmares are about to get a whole lot worse!

Mr Monkey took some time out to recharge his batteries, follow up a few interesting leads and finalise his investigations into the culture of election fraud in the local Labour party.

It seems that council leader Iain Malcolm has cheated his way to the top and that his unique vision of democracy in action wouldn’t be out of place in Zimbabwe. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the results of his month long investigation into election fraud and ballot rigging in South Tyneside will be published tomorrow and he reckons that senior local Labour politicians won’t sleep too well tonight knowing what Mr Monkey is about to publish will expose many of their corrupt and devious practises which have helped keep them power for so long.

If you don’t miss out on these exclusive revelations, keep eye on Mr Monkey Blog over the next day or so.


5 Responses to “their worst nightmare: Mr Monkey returns!”

  1. 1 le vieil aigle
    25/03/2009 at 11:04

    Thank goodness you’re back, Mr Primate. I was getting withdrawal symptoms.
    Also, I have news for the next “private day.”

  2. 2 Jimbo
    25/03/2009 at 12:44

    Just in time for full council? What a cheeky chimp you are!

  3. 3 charlie
    25/03/2009 at 13:22

    so when u reveal this mr m… surely there is cause for other papers to take up the story as well and get that twat off the top line!!!!?

  4. 4 stevie c
    26/03/2009 at 10:19

    Phew! what a relief. Now you are back i’ve just cancelled my ‘adopt a monkey pack’ from my latest box of cornflakes. Since being introduced to your site i’ve never laughted so much since the day granny caught her T*** in the mangle. Keep the pressure up!

  5. 5 DEMC
    13/10/2011 at 11:52

    Mr Monkey,

    Did you know there are 3 bureaucrats named Hed who work for South Tyneside Council/South Tyneside Homes?
    They are a sister and twin brothers.
    The woman is called Thick, the brothers are named Dick and Prick Hed.

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