20
Apr
09

twat of the week

'Bargain .. if only I'd have thought of this before I'd have saved thousands on escort fees'

'Bargain .. if only I'd thought of this before I'd have saved thousands on escort fees'

Mr Monkey has been neglecting the Twat of the Week competition recently- Iain Malcolm and his ballot rigging activities have been keeping this chimp busy.

Well it’s time to resurrect this popular weekly feature and what more worthy winner of this prestigious award could there be than South Tyneside’s very own King of Sleaze, Tory Boy David Potts. Apparently he’s desperately trying to convince the world that he’s some kind of pussy magnate that no bought woman can resist. 

Mr Monkey would like to congratulate him not wasting his money a second time on the manly female escort (pictured below). The lass he’s pictured with here came a lot cheaper – apparently the chance of a free night out with a local wanker celebrity was all it took.

Still it makes a change from working behind the bar in the Red lion.

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4 Responses to “twat of the week”


  1. 1 septimus burnside
    20/04/2009 at 21:05

    I wonder if Peter just comments on this site. I cant believe he is the actual author, because although the author is a total weirdo at least he has the ability to spell words greater than two syllables.

  2. 2 Reuters News Agency
    20/04/2009 at 22:02

    Who is this “Peter”?

    Is he the author of this site?

    “Septimus” is recorded classically as being the first black ruler of Briton (Roman times).

    John “Burnside” was of course a (Scottish) poet, amongst other things. He attempted a translation of the bible, giving rise to a famous dictum, “Names. They exist on the surface of things”

    So what we have “septimus burnside”, is a translation of your name which in essence means a black person who goes by a different name.

    How cryptic.

    Or have you just been leaked a certain letter which relates to a street in East Boldon?

  3. 3 Dirty Laundry
    20/04/2009 at 22:21

    Hi Monkey

    I’m looking for careers advice and thought maybe you or one of your friends might be able to help.

    Do you know if there is much money in flipping burgers these days?

  4. 4 Associated Press
    20/04/2009 at 23:00

    Oh now where have I seen that picture before, there must be a blogger’s pictures agency where these things can be acquired cheaply. I don’t suppose the bloke at the Corner Shop will be amused, anyway about the young lady, do mam and dad know she works behind a bar? Have you checked your sources?


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