Archive for the 'April Fool' Category


Thanks .. I needed that!

'Mr Monkey's popularity has turned a certain local blogger green with envy'

'Mr Monkey's popularity has turned Mr Hobbit, aka Gollum or is it Smeagol Rigg green with envy'

Mr Monkey spent most of his weekend trawling through the archives of his blog and has realised how much time and effort he’s spent establishing it as South Tyneside’s Premier blog.

Unlike certain local bloggers, Mr Monkey has no need to promote himself at every available turn by linking to other blogs, using multiple sites linked to each other, posting comments on the ‘big boys’ sites (Iain Dale and Guido Fawkes) with links and pingbacks to his own site nor does he spend hours on Face Book, Twitter, message boards and chat rooms telling anyone who’ll listen to visit his site .

Mr Monkey relies on content and word of mouth which explains why Mr Monkey’s Blog is the most talked about blog in South Tyneside even after a week of posting nothing.

This chimp has spent the last week wondering how many of you were taken in by his April Fool prank – and yes for a moment, Mr Monkey did consider calling it a day because he genuinely believed that he’d achieved all he set out to do.

However, reading some of the comments left by bloggers and seeing the interest in his investigation into election fraud, perpetrated by council leader Iain Malcolm, CLICK HERE, plus yesterday’s post by a local blogger ‘advising’ bloggers not to visit Mr Monkey’s Blog and ‘warning’ people not to refer others to it – all this from a so called libertarian and lover of free speech – has put  paid to any thoughts of retirement Mr Monkey had.

Congratulations Mr Hobbit, you gave me the kick up the arse I needed!


April Fool

'Mr Dumpy the sauasge roll loving cretin'

'Mr Dumpy the sausage roll loving cretin'

When Mr Monkey read this shite CLICK HERE about the editor of the Gazette, Papa John Szymanski, aka Mr Dumpy, the first thing he did was check the date; it wasn’t April 1st was it?

Mr Monkey’s not sure what the region’s editors were thinking of when they ‘appointed’ this sausage roll loving cretin as the chair of the Northern region of the Society of Editors, although he’s now been told by an insider working for the Trinity Mirror group that Papa John was the only twat to put himself forward. 

No wonder the sour faced cunt with five chins got the job!

Apparently when Papa John accepted the post he was given a ceremonial miner’s lamp so he can find his way further up Iain Malcolm’s arse and he promptly embarrassed himself by trying to eat it – he thought it was some kind of novelty sausage roll.

During his acceptance speech, Papa John read out a statement from his paymaster Iain Malcolm said,

“I am honoured to accept this position in what is a challenging time for the media. A free Press is essential to any democracy and I will strive to ensure the Society does its utmost to protect the freedom of all sectors of the media to report on behalf of the public.”

What he meant to say was,

“I am honoured to accept this position on behalf of my paymaster councillor Iain Malcolm, the leader of South Tyneside Council in what is a challenging time for him as the 2010 elections approach. The Press must be at the beck and call of it’s paymasters and democracy means nothing unless we do as we are told. I will strive to ensure the Society does its utmost to protect Labour in the North East and will ensure all sectors of the media only report the news our paymasters want us to as we cannot afford to tell the public the truth”.

Mr Monkey has been told that the Society recognises the universal right to freedom of expression, the importance of the vitality of the news media in a democratic society, and the promotion of Press and broadcasting freedom and the public right to know.

But all this is about to change under the leadership of Iain Malcolm Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski especially if the Gazette is anything to go by.