Archive for the 'Billy Bunter' Category


The King of Sleaze – David Potts is back!

"The King of Sleaze is back"

"The King of Sleaze is back"

Seems the double dealing twat, The King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts has surfaced from his sleazy bolt hole long enough to condemn the council’s bi monthly magazine; On View.

Apparently Pudgy Face Potts reckons it’s huge waste of taxpayers money and should be scrapped. Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Tory Boy Potts has a short memory, is just plain stupid or was born a fuckwit.

Mama’s boy seems to have forgotten that he was responsible for setting an all time record for a councillor’s travel expenses. He conned claimed nearly £2500 in first class rail journeys to travel to and from Cambridge where he reckons to have been studying. CLICK HERE and HERE.

He’s renowned for using the fact he’s a councillor to scrounge his way into nightclubs, private parties and events that cost money with his “do you know who I am” con.

Now Mr Monkey learns that he was bought off cheaply is eternally grateful to his sponsor Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm for giving him a place at the trough.

Apparently Miss Piggy gave him the position of Vice Chair of the Select Committee Environment, Housing and Transport and Safer and Stronger Communities which carries with it an annual payment of £7,056.

This chimp has taken a closer look at this committee and can reveal that it’s only met 6 times since May 2008 – that’s equal to £1,176 per meeting.

But as with all things connected to the King of Sleaze, nothing is ever what it seems. Councillor Potts has only attended 3 out of the 6 meetings so his price is £2,352 per meeting.

Now that’s what Mr Monkey calls a waste of money.


The Prince Of Sleaze

'Once a prick, always a prick'

'Once a prick, always a prick'

This chimp promised bloggers a picture of the King of Sleaze, aka councillor David Potts when he was nothing but a prince aged about 13. CLICK HERE.

The picture says it all and probably explains why he been such a prick ever since he discovered his own knob. Take a peak at his right hand.

Mr Monkey never realised what a fat bastard he was and now understands why his school mates named him Pudgy Face or was it Lard Arse?


A Pig With 5 Chins!

"I'd love to get my chins round this ball"

"I'd love to get my chins round this ball"

It looks as though council leader Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm has been so busy wanking playing the boss that he’s forgotten one of the basic rules of media manipulation .. don’t say something that might come back and bite you in the arse. Although in his case the dirty bastard might enjoy it!

Mr Monkey nearly choked on his bananas when he read this piece of shit about new changing facilities for the football pitches on the Dragon, CLICK HERE. 

According to councillor Malcolm, the development,

 “is the beginning of a major transformation of our Foreshore” 

but it’s this bit that almost choked Mr Monkey,

“and will also boost our efforts to increase participation in sport and exercise”.

This is from the same fuckwit that wanted to build a super casino on Gypsies Green Stadium and when that failed he decided to build a hotel and conference centre on it.

Mr Monkey is confused because the last time he looked, Gypsies Green Stadium was being used for sport and exercise which we now learn Miss Piggy is keen to push, at least that’s what his paper says.

So is councillor Malcolm a liar or did he open his fat gob without thinking about the consequences?

Seems the twat forgot where he was for a minute and looks to have scored an own goal of mega proportions. Mr Monkey reckons this slip of his tongue will cost him dear in 2011 when he’s likely to be voted out of office for remarks like this.

Mr Monkey will leave readers with this thought – take a close look at the picture of councillor Iain Malcolm, especially the triple chins – he’d do well to heed his own advice and get some exercise before his colleagues start calling him ‘Piggy Five Chins’.


Is Potts A Habitual Liar?

Mr Monkey wonders whether The King of Sleaze, Tory Boy David Potts is a habitual liar? CLICK HERE.

Bloggers will remember his pathetic attempts at trying to justify why he was sacked on the verge of being deselected as the Conservative Parliamentary candidate for Edinburgh South West.

His first reaction was he “knew nothing about it”. That quickly changed to “no comment” . He then claimed to have resigned, because of “health issues concerning his father, which challenged his ability to service the Constituency as much as he would have hoped” although this was the first time he’d spoken off it.

He later claimed to have “have strong commitments in Tyneside, which include those to the people of Cleadon and East Boldon”.

He failed to mention that this included trying to fuck anything he could get his hands on, getting pissed every night and attending every council bash he could as long as he didn’t have to pay for the food and beer.

If these pathetic excuses weren’t enough, he later claimed it was all the fault of the BNP. Apparently he was “deeply concerned about the rising popularity of the far-right British National Party within our region and it was incumbent upon all mainstream political leaders in Tyne and Wear to work together to combat this.” 

He’s so concerned about the BNPhe’s done virtually fuck all about tackling them. But then he’s not exactly lead the local Conservative party with distinction has he?

Cum on Mr Potts you don’t really expect anyone to believe you gave up that place you’ve always wanted on the Parliamentary gravy train do you? If you do you’re a liar.

Why not prove Mr Monkey wrong and get your solicitor to issue that statement you promised on September 11th. But make sure you use a real solicitor and not some arsehole you met in the pub .. that mean swearing it on oath.


Potts Joins The Labour Benches

The King of Sleaze, disgraced Tory councillor David Potts has pulled some stupid fucking stunts in his time but what Mr Monkey witnessed on Friday night at Waggott’s Freedom of the Borough bash has got to top the lot.


The first part of the ‘lets pay homage to our fallen comrade’ charade was held in the council chamber.


Around 110 people attended the formal presentation with Labour councillors, the King of Sleaze and of all people, Jim Capstick taking up seats in the chamber.


Given that the evening was only taking place because Tory Boy Potts – the Boldon Pussy Prowler, forced his two colleagues in to voting for the motion to reward Waggott, it was was fitting that The King of Sleaze swapped his usual place on the opposition benches for a seat on Labour’s front bench.


Yes the arsehole had the audacity to cross the floor and join his Labour lackies on their side of the chamber.


And out of all the people he decided to sit next, he parked his portly arse next to Shrek aka councillor Ernest Gibson. This is the man Pudgy Face vehemently hates because he exposed him as the most likely person behind the Brenda fiasco.


Mr Monkey still can’t get over what he witnessed on Friday but now he’s had time to think about it Mr Monkey reckons he was trying out the seat for size.


Cum May 2010 if Potts is re-elected he’ll have nowhere else to go, that assumes Malcolm has a use for him!


Potts Up To His Old Tricks

It seems disgraced Conservative Parliamentary candidate and Cleadon and East Boldon councillor David Potts is up to his old tricks again. Pudgy Face has only been back in town around 2 weeks and his dick has already got the better of him.

Last Thursday Potts appeared all suited up looking for a shag pint in The Mile. After downing his first alcohol fix in rapid fashion, he proceeded to have an “altercation” with a female member of the public enjoying a quite drink.

Billy Bunter went to relieve himself via the gents, only to be confronted by said lady’s boy friend who threatened to “relieve” Pottsy of his head! In true cowardly fashion, Potts did a runner, only to phone the police and the pub. His claim – that as a member of the Licensing Committee he should not be confronted by the public in such a way. In order to protect his honour (and head) he wanted the Old Bill to view CCTV footage and act accordingly.

What an abuse of power. Porky’s degree of self-importance knows no bounds – seems the locals didn’t know who he was!


Has Potts Been Dumped?

Seems Pudgy Face, the disgraced former Conservative Parliamentary candidate and Cleadon and East Boldon councillor David Potts is living up to his name.

During his holiday self imposed exile he took to binge drinking and comfort eating which may go some way towards explain why he’s piled the beef on.

Mr Monkey was taken a back the other evening when he stopped by the Red Lion and noticed a Billy Bunter lookalike in the corner. It turns out that this bloated figure lurking in the shadows was none other than Tory Boy, David Potts.

Given the state of him, Mr Monkey reckons his long suffering girlfriend Roberta has probably dumped him before she catches some unsavory disease and starts itching between her legs. Mr Potts willingness to put his dick about places her in the high risk category.

Either that or she just doesn’t fancy the ‘lard arse’ anymore.

Never mind councillor Potts at least you’re free to join the borough’s other political heavyweights at the buffet table .. if there’s room!