Archive for the 'Birds' Category


Birdman Maclean

What is it about Gazette reporter David Maclean and birds?

In June Mr Maclean made the front page of ‘The Malcolm Fanzine’, or the Shields Gazette as it was known then, after he deliberately encoraged a seagull to attack him by deliberately feeding it a Greggs pasty CLICK HERE.

In a desperate attempt to attract new readers ‘Birdman Maclean’ has spent a week in court listening to the trial of the ‘Whitelees Birdman’ who after a lengthy trial was acquitted of three counts of buying a protected specimen.

Mr Monkey reckons David Maclean is a closet twitcher and loves nothing more than watching the birds. Maybe it’s time he got himself a real hobby or at least a girlfriend.


Has Potts Been Dumped?

Seems Pudgy Face, the disgraced former Conservative Parliamentary candidate and Cleadon and East Boldon councillor David Potts is living up to his name.

During his holiday self imposed exile he took to binge drinking and comfort eating which may go some way towards explain why he’s piled the beef on.

Mr Monkey was taken a back the other evening when he stopped by the Red Lion and noticed a Billy Bunter lookalike in the corner. It turns out that this bloated figure lurking in the shadows was none other than Tory Boy, David Potts.

Given the state of him, Mr Monkey reckons his long suffering girlfriend Roberta has probably dumped him before she catches some unsavory disease and starts itching between her legs. Mr Potts willingness to put his dick about places her in the high risk category.

Either that or she just doesn’t fancy the ‘lard arse’ anymore.

Never mind councillor Potts at least you’re free to join the borough’s other political heavyweights at the buffet table .. if there’s room!


It’s A Potty World – Part Two

Mr Monkey’s revelations about Tory Boy Potts, who many believe have been responsible for putting an end to The King of Sleaze’s political career have attracted a considerable amount of attention judging by the stats.

It’s A Potty World – Part One post attracted a record number of hits and the links to Mr Monkey’s older posts are proving to be very popular. 

Mr Monkey has now complied another list of older posts for readers to enjoy. Just click on any of the links below.



Potts Enjoys A Wee Dram in Bonnie Scotland Tonight

Seems The King of Sleaze, Conservative Councillor David Potts is tonight hitting the pubs and clubs in Scotland.

After tucking his dad up in bed with a hot water bottle, apparently he’s not been very well, Pudgy Face made the two hour trip up to Scotland earlier today in a last ditched attempt to salvage his piss poor reputation after being ‘sacked’ by the Scottish Tories.

Mr Monkey reckons that after several days of knocking back triple gins, the lure of a wee dram or two and the chance of a one night stand with a Scottish tart might help Tory Boy come to terms with the fact that his political career is over before it really ever started.

Mr Monkey suggests Potts sticks to wheeling and dealing on the Stock Market, it seems to be the only thing he has’nt fucked up yet!


It’s A Potty World – Part One!

Mr Monkey can reveal that Pudgy Face Potts, the Tory liar and King of Sleaze has been drowning his sorrows in buckets of gin and has kept a low profile by refusing to answer his phone. According to tonight’s Gazette he will only be making comments via his solicitor.

Mr Monkey reckons Potts is full of shit and that the only solicitor he knows are the pissed up types that are as much use as wannabe MP without a seat to call his own!

A source close to a Potts has now confirmed that Potts is on the verge of losing it and reckons he has told so many lies over the past few months that he can no longer distinguish fact from fiction.

Mr Monkey has lead the campaign to expose the real Potts and thought that he would share some of the older posts that have helped put an end to this prick’s political ambitions!

Click on the links below for an insight in to what Potts has really been getting up to.


Potts Unravelled

Mr Monkey received a very interesting comment sometime ago and was keeping it for a day like today. A day when journos form around the country will be sniffing around South Tyneside looking to dish the dirt on former wannabee MP, Tory Boy David Potts. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, so here’s some more ammunition folks!


Sorry about the anon but I have had bad experiences in the past with writers keeping their sources secret. I might be able to help you with your crusade against the lying shit that is David Potts. I never used to mind the lad as he is polite and friendly but I’ve recently become horrified at his total lack of morals and the fact he lies as much as he drinks, god help us if he ever gets in a position of power. Anyway, I was directed here by a friend and thought I’d make a few comments.

Remember his record breaking travel expense claim for travelling to and from Cambridge University where he claimed to be studying law, well the truth is:

His record breaking claim of £2251.90 for the period April 2005 to March 2006, was largely due to the fact that he screwed the system and was claiming first class rail travel to and from Cambridge because he was  WORKING IN LADBROOKES.

David never attended the University but claimed his first class travel to work in a bookies in King Street next to Christ’s College. God knows how he has managed to keep this quiet so long. I think his original claim was that he studied Optometry at King’s College and this was later changed to Law when he was informed that the university doesn’t offer that tripos (ask him what that last word means, any student of the university will be able to define it and spout all sorts of urban myths regarding it). I wonder if copies of the Gazette from the time of Pott’s original election to Councilor which have this claim are available on public record? This should be enough for you to at least get others to question this long claim of his. As you don’t seem to mind posting very libellous and quite possibly truthful comments about Mr Potts I may as well give you some more ammunition to make sure he never gets his corrupt authoritarian mitts on any more power.

1) A drink driving charge when he was aged 18/19. I believe this was before he even had a licence so probably add in driving while uninsured and without a licence to that. This could be unsubstantiated and comes from stories doing the rounds in West Boldon pubs about 6 years ago.

2) A charge of fraud for selling internet space that did not belong to him. This is more here-say that the above story but still interesting.

3) Being caught in a compromising position with a Red Lion regular’s wife, He was originally spotted with his tongue down her throat in the pub before she was promptly dragged off by a mutual friend of their’s. This happened in the last few months.

4) He has a VERY big friend/hired bully who he uses to get his dirty work done and intimidate anyone who says bad things about him. This man-monster drinks with him in the Red Lion and has recently caused some locals to leave by threatening their teeth if they dare speak ill of his paymaster again.

A good way to get some dirt is to watch him at his office (The Red Lion) every day at around 11.30am – 4pm and again at 6pm – 10.30pm or even have a word with the staff there, they REALLY love him. If you want to contact me, leave a post on your blog saying as much and I’ll sort out a go-between e-mail address.

Be aware he is extremely angry at this blog which pretty much means you are onto something


Tory Boy Potts Gets The Boot

The King of Sleaze - did he fall or was he thumped by an irrate husband?

The King of Sleaze - did he fall or was he thumped by an irrate husband?

Less than a year after Tory Boy Potts opposed a motion of no confidence in the then Labour Leader of South Tyneside Council, Paul Waggott, the King of Sleaze has found himself at the centre of another motion of no confidence. 

This time his fellow Tories have turned the tables on Pudgy Face by unanimously approving a motion of no confidence in closet socialist, David Potts.
Tory Boy was due to take on Chancellor Alistair Darling at the next general election is now on the verge of being deselected by the local party. Conservative activists in Edinburgh South-West have written to Scottish Conservative headquarters asking for him to be removed as their candidate.

Mr Darling had a majority of 7242 at the last election, but with Labour’s opinion poll rating collapsing, local Tories believe their chances of taking the seat have improved and complained Mr Potts was not spending enough time in the constituency to mount an effective campaign.

Inez Paisley, chairwoman of the Edinburgh South-West Conservative Association, declined to comment on the deselection move. But one association member said Mr Potts had not been up to Edinburgh as often as he should have been and there had been “virtually no campaigning at all”.

The member said: 

“He never attends any functions or meetings of the executive. The executive of the association unanimously decided to send a letter to Central Office, asking for him to be removed as candidate as they had no confidence in him any more. They are just waiting to hear back if they can go ahead with it. He seems to be in denial that this is happening. He doesn’t seem to accept it, but he will go.”

Potts claims to have been a Tory activist since he was 14, was elected as a councillor in 2004. He is currently the self appointed leader of Tory group which is made up of just 3 councillors including Potts.

He was selected to fight Edinburgh South-West last year, but his name has now been removed from the association’s website.

Mr Potts claimed he was “entirely unaware” of any move to deselect him. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” he said. “As far as I’m concerned, I have a very healthy relationship with them” – bullshit! 

But then most people in South Tyneside know what an unreliable, self opinionated, arrogant lying hypocrite he is and Mr Monkey is delighted that the Scottish Tories have found out just in time.
Mr Monkey reckons that his unflinching support for the Labour party in return for financial gain, his womanising ways, alcohol problem (he loves knocking back triple gins for breakfast, usually in the Red Lion) and his fabricated background, all of which have been exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog, have put an end to any political ambitions he had.
All that remains, is for Tory Councillors Wood and Milburn to deselect their ‘leader’ and for the people of Cleadon and East Boldon to oust this scum bag before he brings shame on this quiet corner of South Tyneside.