Archive for the 'Cake' Category


councillor gibson is top of the class when it comes to expenses

'Caught! Who's paying for that Ernest?'

'Caught! Who's paying for that Ernest?'

Over the last 2 days Mr Monkey has revealed how Conservative group leader David Potts, and his colleague Jeff Milburn have milked the expenses system by pocketing nearly £7,000 in just 12 months. CLICK HERE and HERE.

Today Mr Monkey can reveal that screwing the expenses system is not exclusively a Tory thing. It seems that the local Labour party were keen to get in on the act; they have the greediest bastard of them all.

According to figures released earlier this week, Labour councillor Ernest Gibson, who represents Whiteleas, tops the list when it comes to expense claims. In 2008 – 09 he claimed nearly £5, 000 for travel, hotels and subsistence – that’s almost £100 a week. 

Councillor Gibson who is renowned for his love of freebies and can more often than not be found downing large quantities of alcohol and stuffing his ample frame at the buffet table – all funded by the taxpayer – claimed £3,431 in travel expenses and £1,500 for hotels and meals.  

It seems councillor Gibson’s appetite for all things free and his desire to screw the system knows no bounds, but then Mr Monkey reckons he’ll tell the public that it’s all within the rules – so isn’t it time the rules were changed Ernest?


Other things to do

'Happy birthday mam'

'Happy birthday mam'

Sorry bloggers but posting has taken second place today because Mr Monkey has spent the day at the metro centre with his mam who celebrates her 80th birthday tommorrow.

Tonight Mr Monkey is hosting a family get together – so he won’t be posting again this evening.

Mr Monkey is unlikely to post tommorrow as the monkey clan are spending the day at a country hotel, but normal service should resume on Saturday.


Is Mr Monkey Your First Foot?

Mr Monkey will be spending most of today visiting family, friends and neighbours doing his yearly first foot routine.

This chimp has already fucked many of you off by sending you a Monkey Card, so he thought what better way to celebrate the new year than by being your first foot.

When you step out of your house for the first time today don’t be surprised if you find a lump of coal, a small cake, or a coin either on your door mat, outside your door, in your garden or near your car – Mr Monkey just wanted to be your first foot because this will determine your luck for the coming year?

So if Mr Monkey has been kind to you and left you a little surprise, you know you’re in for one hell of a year.