Archive for the 'Competitions' Category


Sock and Awe – Part 2

On Thursday Mr Monkey brought you the Sock and Awe game where bloggers can follow in the footsteps of the Iraqi Journalist who had the balls to throw his shoes at George W Bush.

Judging by the massive response to this post; nearly 2000 page hits in less than 48 hours, Mr Monkey’s reckons you are either a sick lot or you’d liked to have hit the war mongering bastard yourself.

The Iraqi shoe throwing incident has led to ‘A Coalition of Shoe Throwers’. The Germans have now also developed their own version of the game where shoe throwers simply click on the shoe and try and hit Bush as many times as they can in 50 seconds, and there’s even a league table of top scorers.

Give it a go by CLICKING HERE.


Mr Monkey Is About To Piss All Over The Hobbit?

'Pissing on the Hobbit'

'Pissing on the Hobbit'

Seems the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire Corner Shop can piss a bit further than Mr Monkey when it comes to the number of blog hits.

For several weeks Mr Monkey has been challenging the Hobbit to produce his stats – something he used to do on a monthly basis, but around 6 months ago he suddenly stopped.

When Mr Monkey started his blog at the end of July hits and stats were the furthest thing from his mind, instead he concentrated on a causing a bit of monkey mischief.

Very quickly, Mr Monkey realised the potential of his site and it soon became the most talked about blog in South Tyneside.

Since it’s launch the hits have risen month on month and last month Mr Monkey’s Blog received 16,312 hits – not bad for a blog that only concentrates on local issues, does not link to other bigger blogs and has only been going for 4 months.

Now compare these to the stats of the Hobbit’s blog which Mr Monkey forced him to reveal. 

In recent weeks the Hobbit has gone on record saying Mr Monkey’s Blog attracts only ‘around half a dozen hits a day’.

He the changed his mind following a couple of posts from Mr Monkey and conceded that Mr Monkey’s Blog receives around 100 hits per day. Seems he was wrong again.

Apparently the Hobbit takes great satisfaction in the fact that he can piss a bit further than Mr Monkey – it shouldn’t be too difficult when he’s had years to practise his aim now should it?

It seems that after more than 4 years of blogging, running 6 different sites, using various chat-rooms and forums, publishing a daily picture online, receiving a bit of publicity from the Malcolm Fanzine and linking to every well known blog, the Hobbit can only manage a paltry 24,000 hits a month.

Mr Monkey congratulates the Hobbit on his lack of achievement and offers him his commiserations for failing to become a top blogger after more than 4 years of trying.

Enjoy your moment of glory Mr Hobbit because any day now not only will Mr Monkey be pissing further than you, he’ll be pissing all over you.


Monkey Puzzle 6

After a brief absence the Monkey Puzzle is back.


This week’s Monkey Puzzle is dedicated to all the bloggers that read Mr Monkey’s Blog and those of you who are obsessed with keeping everything swept under the carpet.


This week’s puzzle is..


‘Which local blogger had a brother in the police force?’


Perhaps this explains how this person has Papa John Szymanski over at the The Gazette Malcolm Fanzine pulling what little hair he has left out of his head when he’s scooped by this insignificant individual.


Let’s hope for both their sakes it’s just a coincidence otherwise they could both be in a spot of bother.


UPDATE: Monkey Puzzle 5

This week’s Monkey Puzzle should prove a brain tester!

Which Labour councillor shares something in common with a well known brand of beer and what is it?

The answer will be published on 20th October.


League of Extraordinary Perverts

Mr Monkey spent most of last night watching films.

One of the films was called The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and it gave Mr Monkey a great idea. Why not start a League of Extraordinary Perverts, there are enough of them on the local political scene in South Tyneside.

Mr Monkey is busy researching possible members and will be posting on this subject again very soon.


Three Lions

Mr Monkey is off to see the boys at Wembley today so posts might be a bit thin on the ground, unless his flight is delayed.

Enjoy your day because Mr Monkey’s going to .. come on England!


Great North Run

Posts will be a bit light today as Mr Monkey will be spending most of the day watching the Great North Run. After the heavy rain of the last few days it looks as though the sun is going to shine, although it looks bloody cold.

Mr Monkey believes that events such as this need the support of everyone and it’s a day we should all be proud. Thousands of people from all over the world have been training and fundraising for this moment for many months, the least we can do is support it.

Mr Monkey would like to wish all the participants good luck and hopes there are no serious injuries or fatalities and that hundreds of thousands of pounds are raised for worthwhile causes.