Archive for the 'Cross dressing' Category


whose council leader iain malcolm impersonating?

Council leader Iain Malcolm now seems to be distancing himself from the comments he made on Mr Monkey’s Blog after the council’s week long visit to Epinay in France was exposed on this blog. CLICK HERE.

Mr Monkey also revealed that councillor Malcolm used a pseudonym in order to hide his real identity or to deliberately discredit the person whose identity he had stolen. Both comments were posted under the name J Adamson and were from this e-mail address

Now Mr Monkey reckons there is a 3rd possibility – councillor Iain Malcolm wrote the comments on someone else’s behalf who then posted them on this site using his or her own identity. Whatever the circumstances this chimp is 100% certain that the comments were written by Iain Malcolm. CLICK HERE and HERE. and that this is’nt the first time Miss Piggy has posted comments on Mr Monkey’s Blog using other peoples names – more of this later. 

It seems Mr Monkey’s decision to reveal council leader Iain Malcolm was behind these comments and the decision to tell bloggers about his rouse of using as his e-mail address caused panic in the South Tyneside Scroungers Club councillors delegation in Epinay and sent them scurrying for cover back under the stones they crawled out from.

Councillor Malcolm then came up with another rouse, this time he tried to bloggers that J Adamson was a council employee who now risked losing his or her job because of Mr Monkey’s revelations. Unfortunatley he couldn’t order his stooge, Papa John Szymanski at the Labour Gazetteer, aka Shields Gazette to publish the story – he can’t risk telling the public what we really gets up to at their expenses – so he decided to use the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire as his mouthpiece and the daft twat fell for it.

Within hours of Mr Monkey confirming that Iain Malcolm was the person responsible, the following comment appeared;

You deluded idiot, I AM NOT Iain Malcolm and I AM NOT a councillor just an employee of STC, now you’ve disclosed my email address and risked my job you stupid ignorant fucking twat!
Pull your head out of your arse and start thinking of a way to defend me at the investigatory interview.

I won’t be back leaving comments here, brainless arsehole.

.. and this is when the theory that J Adamson is a council employee falls on flat on it’s arse.

Although this latest comment comes from the same e-mail address and uses the same name, Mr Monkey is certain that Iain Malcolm did not write it – it’s not his style of writing,  which thanks to a tip off Mr Monkey now knows how to recognise.

This comment is clearly the work of a second individual on the French trip and Mr Monkey reckons he ‘s seen this style of writing on dozens of occasions since his blog first appeared.

Mr Monkey is going to spend the weekend going through all the archived comments to see if any pattern emerges and he’s also going to do some digging into who or what eurocar is and what link there is with South Tyneside Council – his findings will be posted next week.

In the meantime Mr Monkey can reveal that the eurocar e-mail address was first used by someone called Big Daddy on 1st November 2008 when he (the tone of this comment tells you he’s a man) left this comment

Get out ya dirty bastard we want to see some chicks, lasses with big tits in nurses uniforms.
No Bender Boys like Malcolm does. 


donkey to become mayor

'The next deputy mayor but who'll be his consort?'

'The next deputy mayor but who'll be his consort?'

It seems South Tyneside council’s ruling Labour group is set to take the piss out of the people of the borough by following Hartlepool’s example and opting for animal as it’s mayor.

A source close to the ‘old fish wife’, aka councillor Barry Scorer has confirmed that the next deputy mayor – who by default becomes mayor – is none other than Donkey, aka councillor urgh, urgh Sewell.

There’s currently a debate raging in the Labour party about who his deputy mayoress is likely to be given that the dirty bastard was caught cheating on his wife. Although Mr Monkey has learned she’s recently allowed him back into her life now that he’s washed his dick and promised not to wander again.

Mr Monkey reckons he’s bribed her with an offer to become mayoress, but he’s now worried that his best mate Shrek, aka councillor Gibson will spill the beans on what they really get up to when they’re out on the drink, especially as he feels he’s been stabbed in the back and is unlikely to become Donkey’s consort.

Whatever happens, the mayor’s parlour is certain to become a drinking den, at our expense and Dorothy Wilcox won’t take too well to mucking out – it couldn’t happen to a nicer person.


is Miss Piggy about to be spit roasted?

'Spit roast'

'Spit roast'

Miss Piggy, aka council leader Iain Malcolm has been having a few nightmares recently wondering what Mr Monkey is up to, especially since bloggers gave this mischievous ape some useful pointers of where to dig when he applied comment moderation earlier in the week – and Mr Monkey has been busy ever since.

Apparently Miss Piggy doesn’t just have an odd skeleton in his closet, he’s got a whole grave yard full and one voice he doesn’t want to hear is that of Mary Taylor – she’s got some pretty damning evidence about councillor Iain Malcolm’s hatred of the British democratic system.

Miss Piggy will be horrified to learn that this voice from his past has been whispering in Mr Monkey’s ear and that this chimp is set to reveal all, very soon.

No wonder Miss Piggy can’t sleep when there’s so many people wanting ‘spit roast’ their favourite piece of pork!


A Broody Pig



Judging by this picture of council leader Iain Malcolm it seems Miss Piggy is feeling broody.

Mr Monkey wonders whether it’s anything to do with a new arrival in the Malcolm clan? Either that or mam is not happy at the prospect of the Chuckle Brothers remaining childless forever, especially as her boys are getting on a bit.

This chimp reckons it’s not too late, they could always adopt like this couple CLICK HERE.


Monkey Clip

As it’s nearly Christmas Mr Monkey thought it’s time he showed a little bit of Christmas spirit so he’s dedicating this week’s Monkey Clip to Council Leader Iain Malcolm – a man in denial.

CLICK HERE and enjoy.


The Top Club’s Queen of Sleaze

Who said he's gay?

Who said Iain's gay?

Mr Monkey promised to tell you the tale about Andrea from The Top Club, one of Iain Malcolm’s former associates, so here it is.

Ed Malcolm, aka Frank Sidebottom, was overheard at the Labour Conference this year saying how shocked he was that Mr Monkey alleged that his brother Miss Piggy is gay. “Him! Gay!” he was heard shouting next to the Northumbrian Water stand – “How can they say he’s gay?”

Well this stupid granny shagger must be blind as well as daft – it might explain why he keeps poking old Olive Punchion.

Although Ed might have a fair point, after all brother Iain goes to great lengths to prove just how butch he is.

Back in the old days, Iain, The Queen of Sleaze, would slow right down in his old red Rover, wind down his window and shout ‘phwoarrrr’ any lass under the age of 50.

Sometimes, after all of his council meetings had finished, he’d head over to the Top Club where he’d prop up the bar making lewd gags to this poor lass called Andrea who worked behind the bar. He’s grab any opportunity he got to try and prove he was straight, he’d make bawdy jokes to Andrea about how he’d love to take her home and bang her till she couldn’t walk. That was until she called his bluff and said ‘OK take me home then, Iain’, the poor bastard ran a mile.

He might have been horny, but it’ll have been the bouncer he was interested in, not Andrea. To make matters worse it turned out that Andrea was related to Paul Waggott – the man he helped oust from Fellgate!

Mr Monkey has looked at part of Iain’s personal life (the attempt to arrange a marriage will be kept under wraps for now). Next up will be his political life, in particularly his love of leaks and all things postal.

Mr Monkey will reveal exactly how Paul Waggott’s infamous ‘lunatics’ e.mail reached the Shields Gazette back in January. Stay tuned to find out who leaked it, authorised it, printed it and posted it, and exactly who to.

He’ll be spitting FEATHERS when Mr Monkey delves deeper into his postbox fun .. did someone say FEATHERS?


Mistress Irene Faces Competition

"Iain how many times do I have to tell you I'm in charge"

"Iain I won't tell you again I'm in charge and you'll do as I command"

South Tyneside’s head dominatrix Chief Executive, ‘Mistress’ Irene Lucas faces competition from one of her own in the race to secure the top job at Sunderland City Council.

Seems Mistress Irene is not the only one who desperately wants to leave South Tynside and sources close to the leadership of Sunderland Council have told Mr Monkey that they have received two applications from South Tyneside.

Last week Tribal Resourcing who Sunderland City Council are using as their recruitment advisers interviewed  all applicants including the ‘South Tyneside Two’ to verify details etc. They have now drawn up a short list and the successful applicants have been invited to attend a two day assessment exercise which will be held next week.

Those applicants that make it through the assessment will make the final shortlist and will be interviewed by the Personnel Committee week beginning 8th December. Full Council will then be asked to ratify the appointment on 28th January.

Mr Monkey reckons Mistress Irene will be fucked off when she learns the identity of her competitor especially as she was responsible for his/her recruitment in the first place; talk about being stabbed in the back.

As for the identity of your competitor – it shouldn’t be too difficult to work out – just find out who’s been taking odd days off over the last couple of weeks, and if you’ve both made it through to the assessment stage you’ll come face to face with each other anyhow.

But don’t worry Mistress Irene, Mr Monkey has been told who the preferred candidate is and neither of the ‘South Tyneside Two’ have more than an outside chance.

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