Archive for the 'Curly’s Corner Shop' Category


Monkey Clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to all the closet racists hiding out there in the Shire blogsphere. 


Monkey Clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to the Fat Mackem Hobbit and his gang. CLICK HERE 

Since Mr Monkey barred the Hobbit it seems his lackeys have crawled out of the wood work in support of their leader. This chimp can’t be bothered with all the small talk so if you’re in the Hobbit’s gang .. you’re barred too.



The sad Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire seems to have an unhealthy obsession with Mr Monkey’s Blog and Mr Monkey reckons this has something to do with the demise of his own blog.

Ever since Mr Monkey published his stats for December the Hobbit has been desperately trying to link his posts and comments to Mr Monkey’s Blog in a last ditched attempt to win back some of his readers. It now seems that following the Hobbit’s stupid comments about the number of readers Mr Monkey’s Blog attracts and his childish comments about people that leave comments on this blog, the Hobbit remains coy about his own stats.

Despite Mr Monkey asking the Hobbit to publish his December screen-grab it seems the Fat Mackem Hobbit is very reluctantto confirm what the world already knows – he’s a spent force in the blogging world and now plays second fiddle to Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Mr Monkey doesn’t intend to waste anymore of his his precious time trying to keep the Hobbit from committing suicide so as of now the Hobbit is barred from this site – at least until he publishes his screen-grab.


UPDATE: Curly Lies To His Readers

UPDATE: The Fat Mackem Hobbit still refuses to publish any proof that Mr Monkey is behind The Chief Whip an Mr Monkey’s Analyst blogs. But apparently he’s changed his mind about The Monkeyhouse but can’t bring himself to admit he’s a liar. Don’t worry Mr Hobbit I’ll do it for you .. YOU’RE A FUCKING LAIR

The Fat Mackem Hobbit’s obsession with telling the world how important his blog is has been replaced with his obsession for Mr Monkey –  and this chimp loves watching the Fat Mackem Hobbit agonising over how he can steal his readers back from Mr Monkey?

Self styled Mr Integrity aka Graham Rigg, CurlyThe Fat Mackem Hobbit recently questioned the accuracy of some of Mr Monkey’s posts. This followed a post  about The King of Sleaze, David Potts rouse about getting his girlfriend pregnant – more of this later.

This is what the Hobbit had to say,

“How many other posts contain material that is knowingly fabricated, deliberate lies, or unsubstantiated rumours and gossip?”

Yes I’ve copied Curly’s words once again to demonstrate what a hypocritical and lying little Fat Hobbit he is.

Mr Monkey reckons this hairy Hobbit should get his own house in order before getting on his Barbie box and telling other people what to do with theirs.

Mr Monkey could publish numerous examples of Mr Integrity’s double standards but there’s no better example than his recent post that included the quote above, highlighted in red.

Without checking the facts, which apparently he always does, he deliberately misleads his readers by claiming Mr Monkey has posted under three other guises including The Chief Whip, Mr Monkey’s Analyst and The Monkeyhouse and that these sites have now closed.

What a lying fuckwit you are Curly.

You have no proof Mr Monkey was behind The Chief Whip or Mr Monkey’s Analyst and if you have publish it.

The Monkeyhouse was a temporary blog set up by Mr Monkey and was the fore runner to Mr Monkey’s Blog. This chimp has always told readers (that can be bothered to look) that he’s behind both of them. CLICK HERE.

Bloggers can see another example of his deliberate lies by CLICKING HEREyes The Monkeyhouse is alive and well!

Seems Curly is nothing more than a lying self opinionated individual who considers himself to be on some sort of integrity crusade to clear the blogging world of anything and anyone that doesn’t fit into his narrow and bigoted view of the world.

Mr Monkey reckons the Hobbit is busy looking for a white suit in the winter sales so he can take the place of that other crackpot Martin Bell.


Is Curly Set To Join Mr Monkey?

 Seems the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Corner Shop Shire is on the verge of throwing in his lot with Mr Monkey. 

Readers can’t have failed to notice that the Hobbit is posting daily and some times more than once about Mr Monkey’s Blog. They’ll have also seen that he’s adding comments to Mr Monkey’s posts almost on an hourly basis.


All this from a sorry individual who back in October told the world that only “half a dozen people” visit the “other South Tyneside odious and disreputable blog” – strange how easily a Hobbit changes his mind.


Mr Monkey reckons if the Fat Mackem Hobbit spends any more time on his blog he’ll have to send the sad twat a bale of straw so he can get some sleep in between posting about Mr Monkey and adding comment to Mr Monkey’s Blog.


Or is it more about clinging to Mr Monkey’s tail feathers in a vain attempt to drive up his hits? Whatever the real motive, Mr Monkey is about to put an end to the Hobbit’s latest pastime.



Mr Monkey has been evaluating the site’s stats for December and it seems that the popularity of Mr Monkey’s Blog knows no bounds.

In just 5 months Mr Monkey’s Blog has established itself as South Tyneside’s Premier Blog and is rapidly becoming the only place people turn to for information about the local political scene, the council, the Gazette and for all the gossip, rumours and tit bits about some of the individuals involved.

On December the 14th Mr Monkey bared all when he published a screen-grab of his stats page CLICK HERE.

Graham Rigg aka The Fat Mackem Hobbit  Curly – the man behind South Tyneside’s longest established blog (it’s been around about 4 years) – The Shire Curly’s Corner Shop was forced to eat his own words – rememberthe “half a dozen hits per day” which he later changed to “around 100 hits per day” comments he made about Mr Monkey’s Blog?

This is what he had to say,

“For a blogger to attract so many visits in such a short period of time is indeed incredible and worthy of congratulations, even more so since the content is mainly of a local nature”.

“One might imagine that visitors are looking at more than one page per visit, perhaps two or three, does this mean page views of more than 100000 per month? This rivals even the Shields Gazette”.

“Curly congratulates you on your undoubted success”.

On 23rd DecemberMr Monkey provided readers with this update CLICK HERE

Mr Monkey has decided to publish an up to date screen grab which includes December and demonstrates how popular Mr Monkey’s Blog has become.


Total hits for December 2008 – 31,958

Highest number of hits in a day – 2,151 (13th December)

Highest number of hits in a single week – 10,312 (week 51)

The dip in the graph on the right hand side represents hits for January 2009 which currently stands at 5,907.

With figures like this Mr Monkey might take a leaf out of The Fat Mackem Hobbit’s book by placing a bit of advertising on his site – it’s got to be worth a few bob.


REVIEW OF 2008: Council Leader Attempts To Silence The Monkey!

It took just 2 weeks for council leader Iain Malcolm to try and silence The Monkey. This post appeared shortly after Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm banned The Monkeyhouse from publicly owned computers – so much for Labour’s commitment to free speech.

South Tyneside Council is at the centre of a bitter censorship row today after officials probably the Labour Leader of the Council Iain Malcolm ordered senior ICT staff to ban staff and elected members from accessing The Monkeyhouse,a controversial blog which was in part set up to expose the inner workings of the ruling Labour group. 

Speculation as to the real identity of The Monkey is rife but it is widely believed that he/she is either a close associate of the borough’s ruling elite or is an employee of the council.   


Since its appearance on the blog scene around two weeks ago The Monkeyhouse has become the most widely talked about blog in South Tyneside and The Monkey can confirm that the number of hits are rising daily.    


It was unclear today, who gave the order to ban the site, but the decision seems to have been made following a heated exchange between senior officers and the Labour Leader of the Council Iain Malcolm, who is apparently extremely concerned that he may become the next target of The Monkey’s keyboard!   


Although the site has been blocked on the council network, it remains freely available outside of the Town Hall and to anyone with access to a computer.    


Although The Monkey acknowledges that access to ‘external’ internet sites for personal use by council employees is a privilege and not a right, there are concerns as to the the real reasons why it has been decided the content of The Monkeyhouse is inappropriate.   


The Monkey would like to remind ‘nanny’ Iain that it is not just employees and elected members of the council who can look at The Monkeyhouse but anyone with access to the World Wide Web   


Sorry Iain but your pathetic attempt at covering up what you really get up to censorship will only result in more visitors to The Monkeyhouse as even more people will now want to learn the truth about you and your mates.   


This crazy act of censorship has already led to a massive increase in traffic and the last 24 hours has seen record numbers of visitors to The Monkeyhouse, keep up the good work Iain you are doing far more to promote The Monkeyhouse than I got have ever dreamt about.


7.30PM UPDATE: The Monkey has received confirmation that Iain Malcolm, Leader of the Council, ordered The Monkeyhouse, The Whip and Curly’s Corner Shop to be blocked from the council’s ICT network. However, he later instructed officers to unblock Curly’s Corner Shop which would suggest that Curly too is being manipulated by Mr Ego!


Despite Iain Malcolm’s political experience it seems he has learned very little about censorship. The first lesson any dictator learns is to only use censorship as a last resort because when you ban something it guarantees everyone will want to see what all the fuss is about.    


The Monkey is delighted to reveal that despite Iain Malcolm’s efforts The Monkeyhouse has had another record day. I might pop into the Fountain for a swift one later, but if I don’t have one on me. Whilst you’re at it get Rob Dix one, he’s going to need it when he answers his bail at South Shields Police Station! 

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