Archive for the 'Defection' Category


the monkey clip returns

This time last week council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy was in his element sat in his pen with his tits exposed watching his piglets arguing over who’d get to suck on them first and he knew they’d all want to impress him because he was about to handout his yearly treats.

Now that the dust has settled and Miss Piggy’s tits are returning to normal, Mr Monkey thought he’d dedicate this week’s Monkey Clip to all those poor bastards who got fuck all.

Keep your eye on the little pig in the corner, he’s called Tom and it seems that the fat sow has rejected the poor runt and has decided not to feed him anymore and this chimp reckons it’s time Tom tried his luck elsewhere – give your mate Bernard a call and he’ll send a bus for you.


Iain Malcolm – a man of principle

The borough’s other blogger seems to have ejaculated all over his computer screen at the prospect of South Tyneside’s council leader Iain Malcolm jumping into bed with the Conservatives at their spring conference in Cheltenham.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but those close to this devious twat will know what an opportunistic bastard he is and that he’ll stop at nothing to keep his corrupt hands on the reigns of power, even snuggling up to a Tory or two.

Apparently he was in Cheltenham on behalf of Sovereign Strategy the political lobbying company that he runs and is a shareholder in and despite the shouts of ecstasy from certain quarters, Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether this “consummate politician” has seen the writing on the wall and has joined the increasing number of Labour politicians who have thrown the towel in – it’s only a matter of time before they return to the political wilderness and warm there arses on the opposition benches.

This chimp reckons his arse fondling licking at the Tory conference had nothing to do with South Tyneside and everything to do with making sure he’s on the right side when it comes to lobbying those with clout .. and Gordon hasn’t got much of that left.


The Prince Of Sleaze

'Once a prick, always a prick'

'Once a prick, always a prick'

This chimp promised bloggers a picture of the King of Sleaze, aka councillor David Potts when he was nothing but a prince aged about 13. CLICK HERE.

The picture says it all and probably explains why he been such a prick ever since he discovered his own knob. Take a peak at his right hand.

Mr Monkey never realised what a fat bastard he was and now understands why his school mates named him Pudgy Face or was it Lard Arse?


Is Curly Set To Join Mr Monkey?

 Seems the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Corner Shop Shire is on the verge of throwing in his lot with Mr Monkey. 

Readers can’t have failed to notice that the Hobbit is posting daily and some times more than once about Mr Monkey’s Blog. They’ll have also seen that he’s adding comments to Mr Monkey’s posts almost on an hourly basis.


All this from a sorry individual who back in October told the world that only “half a dozen people” visit the “other South Tyneside odious and disreputable blog” – strange how easily a Hobbit changes his mind.


Mr Monkey reckons if the Fat Mackem Hobbit spends any more time on his blog he’ll have to send the sad twat a bale of straw so he can get some sleep in between posting about Mr Monkey and adding comment to Mr Monkey’s Blog.


Or is it more about clinging to Mr Monkey’s tail feathers in a vain attempt to drive up his hits? Whatever the real motive, Mr Monkey is about to put an end to the Hobbit’s latest pastime.


Potts on The Verge of Joining Labour

A source close to the Labour leadership has confirmed that Tory Boy, Councillor David Potts the disgraced former Conservative General Election candidate for Edinburgh South West has held secret talks with Council Leader Iain Malcolm regarding his defection to the Labour party.

It seems that Pudgy Face Potts has resigned himself to the fact that he no longer has any future within the Conservative party and feels the only way to achieve his long standing political ambitions is to walk the floor.

Senior Labour councillor beleive a deal has now been done and all that remains is the timing of the announcement.

Apparently Iain Malcolm wants to hold back the announcement until he can use it to put the boot into the other opposition groups and get maximum press coverage.

Mr Monkey reckons the announcement can’t come soon enough, after all he has been a closet Blairite ever since Iain Malcolm signed off his record travel expense claim when he reckoned he was partying and shagging himself daft claims to have been studying at Cambridge University. 

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Councillor Leask will make way for David Potts in 2010 who doesn’t stand a chance of getting re-elected in Cleadon and East Boldon especially if the opposition come a knocking.

Now Horsley Hill, that’s a different matter entirely and isn’t it an open secret that Iain Malcolm wants rid of Vodka Lil?


Potts Goes Into Hiding

Disgraced former Tory election candidate and South Tyneside Councillor David Potts looks a forlorn figure as he wanders round town with no one for company except the seagulls, and even they want to shit on him!

Mr Monkey reckons Malcolm’s Toy Tory Boy is struggling to come to terms both mentally and emotionally with the fact that he is a failure. Sources close to Pudgy Face have confirmed that he is drinking even more heavily than normal and his behaviour has become irrational and unpredictable. He seems to have lost the plot.

The pressure has taken it’s toll on his sex life too. A recent conquest, or it would have been, has confirmed that he can’t even get a hard on, poor Potts.

Mr Monkey has now learned that Tory Boy has decided to go on holiday for 3 weeks into hiding in the hope that the the dust will settle and that he can then eventually return to try and pick up the pieces of what’s left of his failed political career.

Mr Monkey has news for you Mr Potts, your political career is over, you’ll never be anything more than a councillor and even that is likely to come to an end in 2010 especially if what Mr Monkey is hearing comes true!

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