Archive for the 'Economy' Category


another photo opportunity for Miss Piggy

Seems council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy is using the publicly funded council press propaganda office to further his political ambitions by staging another photo opportunity with children. CLICK HERE.

 Anyone who knows Miss Piggy will confirm that there’s more chance of the pope fathering a child than there is of Miss Piggy shagging a woman. They’ll also tell you how uncomfortable he is when he’s around children – but hey, he’s able to conquer his fear of children if it means he’ll get some media exposure.

A while back a leading charity accused politicians of “cynically misusing” children in their campaigns. The NSPCC said they were “appalled to see children being used as props or being pointedly vilified in an attempt to win votes” and cited the use of children in pre-arranged photo opportunities.


Mr Monkey reckons politicians should be campaigning for children rather than using them for electioneering purposes. Children are citizens who deserve action – in the areas of health, tax, the economy, law and order and transport, as well as education and social policy.


Might it be even more cynical of this chimp to suggest that politicians “cynically misuse” anyone and everyone if it suits them? 


The Week Ahead

The week ahead will go down in history as one of the momentous of our time

It’s the week when: 

George W Bush is consigned to the history books and will be remembered as the worst US President ever
Barack Obama becomes the first African American President of America
Labour Prime Minister Gordon Brown saddles future generations with yet more debt
Kaka joins Manchester City and becomes the first £100 million pound footballer
Mr Monkey’s Blog reaches the 100,000 hits milestone in record time
The long awaited list of ‘Monkey Suspects’ is published
Graham Glitter aka Curly has an ape free day and doesn’t post or comment about the borough’s premier blogger Mr Monkey
The Fat Mackem Hobbit admits he’s obssesed with all things ape and that he’ll do anything to feed off Mr Monkey’s success
and David Miliband spends a day in his constituency; watch out for him on Ocean Road.


Monkey Clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to  Town Hall Fat Cats everywhere. CLICK HERE and enjoy.



EXCLUSIVE: South Tyneside Council Lends £122 Million To Banks

Earlier this week Mr Monkey exclusively revealed that South Tyneside Council had invested money in Icelandic banks, CLICK HERE but withdrew it before the system collapsed.

Mr Mr Monkey can now exclusively reveal that South Tyneside Council regularly plays the money markets and loves risking taxpayers money on the world’s financial markets.

Currently South Tyneside Council has lend around £122 million of our money to various banks and financial institutions around the world. In return the council receives interest on the money it lends – the higher the interest – the greater the risk.

Here’s a list of who the council has lent money to:-

Barclays Bank – £10 million
Lloyds TSB – £3 million
National Australia Bank – £3 million
Allied Irish Bank – £10 million
Bank of Ireland – £10 million
Anglo Irish Bank – £5 million
Nationwide Building Society – £10 million
EBS Building Society – £8 million
Bank of Scotland – £9 million
Alliance and Leicester – £200,000
Abbey National – £3 million
Natwest SIBA – £5.78 million
Standard Life Money Market Fund – £8 million
DEPFA Bank – £2 million
Unicredito Italiano – £10 million
Coventry Building Society – £10 million
Chelsea Building Society – £10 million
Leeds Building Society – £5 million

Mr Monkey would like to remind the fuckwits in the town hall that the world’s money markets are in chaos and the banking system is on the verge of collapse – it’s time you stopped playing the financial markets before you bankrupt the borough and find yourselves behind bars.


South Shields To Get Free Parking

Seems Labour’s half witted attempts at kick starting the economy have as much chance of succeeding as Iain Malcolm has of fucking a woman.

Locally the reduction in VAT will do absolutely nothing to stimulate the town centre and looking at the number of shoppers in King Street earlier today it’s going to be a long hard winter for the retail sector.

Like most people in South Tyneside, Mr Monkey is pissed off with the council’s rip off mentality when it comes to charging for things such as car parking. It’s now accepted that car parking charges affects the choice of shopping venues with potential shoppers preferring to shop were parking is free.

Mr Monkey reckons it’s time South Tyneside Council did it’s bit for the local economy and instead of milking the public for everything it can, it’s time to give something back to the cash strapped public.

Come on Miss Piggy ‘do your bit’ – show us you care by allowing free car parking for a maximum of 3 hours every Saturday and on market days between now and Christmas?


500 Jobs or Pie in The Sky

'Mr Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

'Mr Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

According to tonight’s Gazette Malcolm Fanzine ‘Mr Piggy’ councillor Iain Malcolm is delighted at the prospect of Tech Mahindra, an Indian IT company, creating 500 jobs in South Tyneside. CLICK HERE.

Whilst Mr Monkey welcomes any good news about jobs in the current economic climate he can’t helping thinking that ‘Mr Piggy’ is not telling the people of South Tynside the whole truth.

When you read the small print it’s apparent that there will only be a few jobs in the short term and that the figure could rise to 500 in the next 5 years .. no guarantees then!

Mr Monkey reckons it’s time ‘Mr Piggy’ and his press office goons stopped spinning the truth and manipulating the press by creating eye catching headlines that have very little substance.

It’s not that long ago we were told that Garlands Call Centre would be bringing 1000 new jobs to the borough, yet almost a year later it seems Garlands have struggled to reach three figures.

Come on ‘Mr Piggy’ stop believing your own hype and learn to tell the truth.