Archive for the 'Freedom of the Borough' Category


Senior councillor quits lucrative cabinet position

'Did councillor Hanson really quit or was he forced out by the double dealing Iain Malcolm?'

'Did councillor Hanson really quit or was he forced out by the double dealing Iain Malcolm?'

Cracks are begining to appear in councillor Iain Malcolm’s new look administration which is set to be ratified at the Labour party’s annual gathering of the pigs round the trough meeting on Saturday May 9th before being confirmed by the full council on May 12th.

Rumours have been circulating for weeks about who’s been given what and Mr Monkey can now confirm that Miss Piggy, aka council leader Iain Malcolm has told all those in line for a goodie bag what they’ve got when he summoned them to his ivory tower last week.

But some people were far from happy at what they saw as a demotion and others felt that they were being moved sideways. Unfortunately for Miss Piggy, councillor Tom Hanson who represents the Bede ward took umbrage at being offered what in his opinion was a derogatory role within the administration and has now decided to quit his £10,000 a year position in the council’s decisionmaking cabinet to embarrass the council leader Iain Malcolm.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether councillor Emma Lewell is being used by Miss Piggy to keep former leader Paul Waggott from making  a return to the council chamber in 2010 and what better way to do it than by promoting Emma Lewell whose seat Paul Waggott is rumoured to be interested in. This would almost certainly anger some of the Jarrow group including Tom Hanson who hates Emma Lewell with a passion.

Seems that councillor Malcolm is determined to recreate the in fighting of the 80s and 90s that saw a split between Jarrow and South Shields Labour parties and the creation of the A and B teams .. I nearly forgot the C team!


Mouths To Feed

The Tax Payers Alliance and The Northern Echo CLICK HERE recently revealed that South Tyneside Council spent more than £25,000 on refreshments between April 2007 and March 2008. But Mr Monkey reckons the real figure is much higher.

This type of eexpenditure is notoriously difficult to track because it can easily be hidden under lots of different budget headings that make no reference to hospitality and refreshments- the Department of Revenue and Customs calls it ‘creative accounctancy’ – Mr Monkey calls it fiddling the books.

This system allows senior councillors and officers to manipulate budgets to suit the needs of those who think being a councillor means you pay for fuck all.

Mr Monkey wonders what this year’s refreshment bill will be given the change of leadership and Miss Piggy’s, aka councillor Iain Malcolm’s love for the finer things in life .. providing someone else is paying for it.

Bloggers will remember these posts about the fat twats feeding at the trough CLICK HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE, it seems that under the aptly named Miss Piggy regime, these scrounging bastards are set to cost the taxpayer a whole lot more.

That’s without the new in take of heavyweights such as Papa John Szymanski the editor of the Shields Gazette Malcolm Fanzine, Indy councillors Ahmed Khan, Geraldine White, Gordon Finch and all the other hangers on like former councillors Arthur Meeks, John Wood, Paul Waggott, wannabe councillors Joyce Welsh, Neil Maxwell, Alan Smith, Terry Fairley, arse lickers like Linda Hemmer and any other idiots Labour can find to work for them in return for a few sausage rolls.

With mouths like these to feed, it’s no wonder the leader of the council Iain Malcolm Miss Piggy gave his brother and wanabee Labour MP for Houghton and Washington East the cabinet portfolio that includes overseeing council budgets.


REVIEW OF 2008: Time To Go Potts

This post appeared the day after The King of Sleaze, Tory Boy councillor David Potts decided not to support a joint unified opposition move to stop former Labour council leader Paul Waggott being awarded Freedom of the Borough after he lost his seat at May’s local elections.

Councillor Potts and his two Tory colleagues actions were solely responsible for this disgraceful show of cronyism.


After the dust has settled on yesterday’s disgraceful Tory antics which resulted in the local Conservatives being solely responsible for former defeated Labour Leader Paul Waggott gaining Freedom of the Borough, The Monkey wonders whether how cheaply easily Tory Boy Potts was bought persuaded by Iain Malcolm’s sweet talking tongue?

Based on Councillor Potts previous track record it would seem that his principles don’t cost much. An odd first class rail ticket, a freebie conference or a menial paid position will usually be enough to buy Tory Boy’s unflinching loyalty.

The Monkey wonders what the other two Tory Councillors, Milburn and Wood, are feeling like this morning. The Monkey suspects that they are downbeat, ashamed and angry to learn that they were conned by their so called leader David Potts in supporting Labour against their will.

The Monkey reckons that Councillors Milburn and Wood are basically decent honourable and principled individuals, unfortunately the same cannot be said of their so called leader. The Monkey suspects that yesterday’s shameful act of Labour arse licking will prove the end of Pottsies national political ambitions.

The Monkey predicts that even at a local level Tory Boy’s days in the limelight are numbered. Perhaps it’s time for a Leadership challenge and The Monkey cannot think of a better candidate than Councillor Milburn who was obviously distressed and embarrassed by yesterday’s antics, at least he is a man of honour, integrity, decency and principle.

'Pottsie political career is in deep shit'

'Pottsie political career is in deep shit'


REVIEW OF 2008: Has Waggott Stabbed McAtominey in The Back?

This post first appeared after Steady Eddie’s first arrest on suspicion of drink driving. He protested his innocence and said he’d fight to clear his name.


Steady Eddie spent the next 8 months wasting the police and court’s time pleading not guilty and using every trick in the book to wriggle out of being convicted. But Mr Monkey reckons he was trying to protect his lucrative paid positions on the council and the police authority.


Unfortunately for the borough’s number one pisshead, he was caught drink driving a second time. This time he pleaded guilty, was banned from driving and was forced out resigned from his paid positions.


He decided to change his plea to his first offence and was rightly convicted of failing to provide a specimen.


Councillor McAtominey offered no apology for wasting thousands of pounds of public money, instead we had to listen to yet another sob story about his illness and how it had caused him to turn to drink.


What a lying bastard, ask anyone in the Labour party about his drinking habits and they’ll tell you he’s always been a pisshead and has never been able to control his excessive drinking.


Reports have reached The Monkey that Paul Waggott is the latest suspect in the Eddie McAtominey saga. ‘Steady Eddie’ as he has become known, believes that he was deliberately set up by someone in an attempt to get rid of him, he claims the police were lying in wait when he fell out of the pub pissed as a fart – nothing to do with good policing and vigilant officers then!


According to a source close to ‘Steady Eddie’ the number one suspect has always been Iain Malcolm as he clearly stood to gain most from the demise of his number one foe.  However, it has now emerged that former council leader Paul Waggott who was rejected by the people of Fellgate and Hedworth planned on making a quicker than expected comeback.


Apparently Waggott has earmarked ‘Steady Eddie’s’ seat if as suspected he gets the boot in August.


The Monkey reckons this explains the sudden burst of activity in the town hall to stitch up bestow the honorary title of Freedom of the Borough on Paul Waggott – talk about killing two birds with one stone. 


This leaves Iain Malcolm with a dilemma of immense proportions, who does he hate most ‘Steady Eddie’ or ‘The Poison Dwarf’?


REVIEW OF 2008: Was Iain ‘Piggymus’ Malcolmus Crowned Emperor Last Night?

This post first appeared in August.

A source close to Council Leader Iain Malcolm has told Mr Monkey about a lavish Roman style banquet held in the Town Hall last night.

The source who wishes to remain anonymous and who was at the event was stunned by the scale and grandness of the whole thing and now feels guilty about participating in an event that must have cost the council taxpayer thousands.

The event was hosted by Miss Piggy lookalike Iain Malcolm who fiddled tightly controlled the guest list to ensure only those with tongues long enough to reach his arse were in attendance to homage to him.

Mr Monkey is waiting for further details from his source but can confirm that last night’s lavish event was billed as a ‘Thank You Event’ for Iain Malcolm’s ‘best friend’ Paul Waggott.

What a bloody hypocrite he can’t stand him but Mr Monkey is not surprised as Iain would probably sell his own mother if it got him a seat in Westminster!

Mr Monkey can also confirm that an exclusive firm of outside caterers were used to fill the pigs troughs provide exquisite delights such as figs.

Sounds like a jolly good time was had by all and not a bill in sight!

Seems that this so called ’Thank You Event’ for Paul Waggott was in fact a coronation for the new Emperor, Iain ‘Piggymus’ Malcolmus.

It was fitting then that such a lavish banquet was put on for the Emperor’s new found friends which included:

 ’One North East, can we have your land on the cheap please?

‘Sir’ Geoffrey Ford this time wearing his Step Hat, wonder if he has any room in his wardrobe for his Y fronts?

A few select officers of the council, after all they will need to sign the cheques to pay for it all!

and a few councillors known locally as the Freebie Mob. Apparently these fat pigs folks only got an invite if they promised to bend over when he wants to shaft them bow before the Emperor!

Now one thing confuses Mr Monkey, why haven’t we seen the usual Malcolm PR bullshit spewed all over the Gazette, is it because ‘Papa John’ Szymanski is on holiday or is it that Emperor Malcolmus doesn’t want the peasants to know what goes on behind the scenes especially when the poor bastards are paying for it!

Mr Monkey wonders what the after banquet entertainment was, surely the newly crowned Emperor didn’t follow the Roman tradition of organising a drunken no holes orgy did he?


Mayor Hands Waggott £2500 Scroll.

When it comes to wasting taxpayers money on themselves no one does it better than the local Labour party.

There’s no better example of this than the shameful way councillor Iain Malcolm and his highwaymen have robbed the public purse to reward their former leader Paul Waggott for losing his seat to Indy Alliance councillor Geraldine White.

These bloodsuckers had the balls to try and justify this cynical misuse of taxpayers money by awarding election loser Waggott with Freedom of the Borough.

In a defiant ‘fuck you gesture’ the local Labour party had the cheek to hold a lavish £50 a head dinner in the town hall to “celebrate Paul Waggott’s life on the council”. This ‘gesture’ cost local taxpayers over £2500.

It seems Iain Malcolm’s genorsity knows no bounds when it comes to spending public money and this exclusive Labour party bash was just the tip of the iceberg.

Mr Monkey can reveal that Paul Waggott was presented with an illuminated scroll on Friday evening by the mayor, councillor Alec Donaldson on behalf of the Labour party‘grateful people’ of South Tyneside!

This small piece of parchment came in an engraved silver casket and cost the taxpayer another £2500. Those present were also presented with a memento of the occasion in the form of a timepiece.

After the formal part of the ceremony Labour councillors, friends and supporters of Waggott, The King of Sleaze and Pussy Prowler councillor David Potts and a handful of council officers retired for nibbles and drinks .. at our expense of course!

It may come as a surprise to Dick TurpinIain Malcolm, but the vast majority of people are disgusted by his generosity and the blatant misuse of their money and like Mr Waggott, he will pay the ultimate price in 2011.

That’s assuming his generosity in awarding £8.5 million pay off to his former friends colleagues at Newcastle Airport doesn’t bring him down first!


Miliband Snubs Waggott

South Shields MP and Foreign Secretary David Miliband appears to want nothing to do with Labour’s cheapening of the Freedom of Borough award.

Mr Monkey, who attended Friday’s formal ceremony in the town hall can confirm that Mr Miliband was not in attendance despite being sent an invitation. Seems he was conveniently otherwise engaged.

Mr Miliband refused to attend was also absent from the infamous £50 a head Labour party bash paid for by taxpayer; to “celebrate Mr Waggott’s life on the council”.

Current leader, councillor Iain Malcolm made a shameful attempt to justify this disgraceful waste of taxpayers money when he was challenged by the press by claiming it was a chance to network. CLICK HERE. 

Try using the phone you spineless twat!

Mr Monkey also noticed that Iain Malcolm’s nemesis, friend of Mr Miliband, Freeman of the Borough and former South Shields MP Dr David Clarke also snubbed was missing from the lets lick Waggott’s arse do on Friday night.

Older bloggers will remember the cat fights in the 80s and 90s between the South Shields and Jarrow Labour parties and the emergence of the A and B teams. It seems somethings never change.

Mr Monkey can confirm that the Jarrow Mob were out in force and even ‘I’ll drive if I want to’ councillor McAtominey had the nerve to second the formal proposal.

Also paying homage were Lord and Lady Dixon and the Malcolm arse whipper kicker, Jarrow MP Stephen Hepburn. But then there was free beer to be had and Linda was there to pick him up if he fell over.

Mr Monkey congratulates David Miliband for having the common sense to stay away. His absence makes it clear what he really thinks about his colleagues blatant misuse of power .. but we all know what he thinks of Iain Malcolm don’t we?