Archive for the 'Gay' Category

21
Jul
09

mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can go home'

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

  • Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
  • Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
  • Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
  • Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
  • Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
  • Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
  • ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
  • Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
  • Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
  • Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
  • Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself - in record time - this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present - Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever - that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

14
Jun
09

twat of the week

'True blue .. the only gay in the village'

True blue: is coun Potts the only gay in the village?

There is only one contender for the  Twat of the Week award and that’s the King of Sleaze, Tory Boy councillor David Potts.

This chimp can reveal that Pudgy Face turned up to last Sunday’s count at Temple Park leisure centre – where the votes for the European election were being counted – dressed like a faggot straight from the set of Little Britain’s ‘I’m the only gay in the village’.

Mr Monkey can confirm that councillor Potts was pissed as usual when he arrived and was stinking of alcohol, slurring his words and appeared to find it difficult to walk in a straight line, but even this was over shadowed by his outrageous sense of dress.

The King of Sleaze was dressed in a fitted purple tee shirt, tight grey trousers and zebra print shoes. He was probably also wearing a pink leather thong – with a built in dildo – but thankfully he managed to keep his trousers on.

Many people suspect councillor Potts swings both ways and after Sunday’s appearance at Temple Park, Mr Monkey reckons that the sleazy Tory councillor who represents Cleadon and East Boldon is as bent as his mentor, council leader Iain Malcolm.

Mr Monkey wonders if this explains councillor Malcolm’s ‘friendship’ with the Tory group leader – surely he doesn’t fancy him does he?

10
Jun
09

eurocar: a regular contributor to mr monkey’s blog

On Monday Mr Monkey said he would publish a list of all the comments on his site that used the eurocar@hotmail.com and eurocar@hotmail.co.uk CLICK HERE.

This followed revelations that council leader Iain Malcolm was behind at least two comments left on Mr Monkey’s Blog during the recent taxpayer funded councillors jolly to France and that he or one of his stooges – most likely councillor Steve Harrison - used the eurocar e-mail address to post the comments.

Mr Monkey also revealed that there seemed to be a link between eurocar and Iain Malcolm. Comments left on this site suggest that the link is councillor Steve Harrison – apparently he owns a company called eurocar and that this company recently won a lucartive contract to supply transport services for the elderly. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the eurocar e-mail address has been used around 90 times to post comments on this site (under various names) and they have nearly always come from the same IP address - until the French jolly.

The style, tone and terminology of these comments is indentical except for the two comments written by Iain Malcom whilst he was in France. Ironically the other 88 comments left by councillor Harrison demonstrates what he really thinks about his colleagies and Mr Monkey reckons they will be overjoyed at the prospect of having this eloquent and confused individual in their ranks.

Here are some of the comments that have appear to have been posted by Steve Harrison from the eurocar address – to help put them in context, Mr Monkey has also included a link to the original post:-

On George Elsom ..

Recon a lot of Councillors in South Tyneside wished he broke his fuckin neck.Heard a canny story about the time he shit his pants on the golf course when one of his mates threatend the Bastard, maybe Mr Monkey would like me to share it with his bloggers?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

George ‘ive pissed me pants’ Elsom, is coming towards the end of his political life. He was bought very cheaplyoff Iain’miss piggy’Malcolm and a shit vice chair was all he had to show for it. His Missus Olive – had the embarrasment of one of the lowest ever votes in South Tyneside, what a sorry loser u are George. You have no hope of ever getting elected again, because the Indys are going to hammer your ward when its your turn to stand, Better still every other opposition party wants u gone including Labour. Ha ha ha bought for a poxy vice chair then sailed down the tyne like a peice of shit.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On David Potts .. 

Apparantly his Dick dont work to well according to one Scrubber from the Cottage pub in Cleadon.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2009/01/24/the-prince-of-sleaze/

I thought Fat pigs flew not took the train?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/review-2008-the-fat-controller-claims-2251-to-ride-the-train/

Do you want me to bring him in for questioning?
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/is-potts-a-habitual-liar/

On Eddie McAtominey..

It Was reported in the Malcolm fanzine ( Gazette ) last week that the residents of Hebburn have a 5,500 name petition against the Tescoville
development and PISSED-AS-A-DRUNKEN-CUNT McAtominey told them to basic’ly PISS OFF he was going to make the decision not them. Well i think the boots on the other foot now.

https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

Theres over 40K gannin in that hoose, paid for of course by the hard working taxpayers. Drunken bastard gets 7k basic 12k Police Athourity, 10k Cabinet
Fiddiling Nanc gets 7k Basic and 9+k Chair of Scrutiny. she should of scrutinized that fat tango’ed twat

https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/what-does-steady-eddie-know-about-you-iain/

Aye this Fucka has got away with it for years, after the scandal when he was kicked out of the Labour party for fiddiling, I and several other labour stalwarts dropped out. The man does not know the meaning of the word Integrity, fat, lying, cheating cunt he has scammed himself through life. Hopefully the Magistrates in Peterlee will through the book at the twat and the Borough of South Tyneside will be shot of him. The good people of Hebburn who presented the 5,500 petition are sticking two fucking fingers up to you, they are indeed having the last laugh.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/will-steady-eddie-throw-in-the-towel/

On George Elsom and the Progressives ..

Aye how fuckin niave can the progs be, the twats President or some fuckin thing, going round with George ‘red rum’Elsom like his arse lacky.
The Bastards going to fall from a great height right into a bucket of shite.

https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/twat-of-the-year/

On Iain Malcom ..

fkin faggotttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/iain-taps-his-best-mate-up/

THIS FELLA IS GOING DOWN THE SAME ROAD AS HIS EX LEADER WAGGOT, KEEP ON SPINNING SHIT, AND YOU WILL END UP ON THE SAME SCRAPHEAP AS HIM BONNY LAD.
https://mrmonkeysblog.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/500-jobs-or-a-pie-in-the-sky/

Mr Monkey will be posting more comments from eurocar over the coming days.

05
Jun
09

credit where credit’s due

It’s not often Mr Monkey thanks anyone especially the Fat Mackem Hobbit, aka Graham Rigg  over at the Shire, but credit where credit’s due.

It seems councillor David Potts, aka The King of Sleaze’s lackey has suddenly discovered – after being reminded by councillor Iain Malcolm – that comment moderation had been applied to Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Mr Monkey would like to thank the eagle eyed faggot – who is currently doing his thing over in France – for drawing the Fat Mackem Hobbit’s and therefore Mr Monkey’s attention to this oversight.

You’ll both be delighted to know that Mr Monkey has turned off comment moderation so all your comments will be immediately visible for all to see.

05
Mar
09

Potts Bats For Both Sides .. And Not Just Politically

'Love is in the air'

'Love is in the air'

For months the King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts has been obsessed with unmasking the chimp behind Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Poor old Pudgy Face - little did he know that he came within a whisker of revealing the person behind the monkey on Tuesday night when he and his male ‘friend’ enjoyed an intimate meal at  Brunnelos No 5 restaurant, above the Wheatsheaf pub in Boldon.

Mr Monkey nearly choked on his starter when The King of Sleaze and his male companion entered the restaurant. They had a couple of pre-dinner drinks before siting down for their meal. They left about an hour later but Mr Monkey couldn’t see whether they were holding hands or not.

It seems councillor Potts has alot more in common with council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy than this chimp first thought – they’re both fond of faggots.

21
Feb
09

is Miss Piggy about to be spit roasted?

'Spit roast'

'Spit roast'

Miss Piggy, aka council leader Iain Malcolm has been having a few nightmares recently wondering what Mr Monkey is up to, especially since bloggers gave this mischievous ape some useful pointers of where to dig when he applied comment moderation earlier in the week – and Mr Monkey has been busy ever since.

Apparently Miss Piggy doesn’t just have an odd skeleton in his closet, he’s got a whole grave yard full and one voice he doesn’t want to hear is that of Mary Taylor - she’s got some pretty damning evidence about councillor Iain Malcolm’s hatred of the British democratic system.

Miss Piggy will be horrified to learn that this voice from his past has been whispering in Mr Monkey’s ear and that this chimp is set to reveal all, very soon.

No wonder Miss Piggy can’t sleep when there’s so many people wanting ‘spit roast’ their favourite piece of pork!

11
Feb
09

A Broody Pig

"Broody"

"Broody"

Judging by this picture of council leader Iain Malcolm it seems Miss Piggy is feeling broody.

Mr Monkey wonders whether it’s anything to do with a new arrival in the Malcolm clan? Either that or mam is not happy at the prospect of the Chuckle Brothers remaining childless forever, especially as her boys are getting on a bit.

This chimp reckons it’s not too late, they could always adopt like this couple CLICK HERE.

24
Jan
09

Amateur Snappers Left Disappointed

Protest ... an anti-war campaigner.It seems on or two of the borough’s amateur snappers were left disappointed last night when nothing more sinister than a few sarcastic comments were hurled in the direction of the Labour party’s war-mongers who were attending a fund raising dinner at South Tyneside College.

 The £15 a head bash was to raise funds for the local Labour party and was attended by South Shields MP and Foot in Mouth Foreign Secretary David Miliband and fellow cabinet member John Hutton, the Defence Secretary.

Guests were met by an orderly but boisterous crowd of around 70 Anti War protesters who had gathered to protest about the recent conflict in Gaza.

Despite fevered speculation in certain quarters that the whole thing was being orchestrated by Indy councillor Ahmed Khan, it must have come as a disappointment to some to find that there was no sign him.

Apparently certain individuals were convinced that they were on to an ‘excluisve’ and that they would capture councillor Khan on camera leading hordes of Muslim protesters -  including children - up Dean Road to the college, no doubt damaging property, vehicles and hurling anti semitic abuse as they went.

Imagine these poor bastards disappointment when the only councillors that crossed their lenses were Labour and that the vast majority of the well behaved crowd were white, many of whom according to reports looked  “affluent”.

To add insult to injury there was hardly a Muslim in sight, let alone a child. Mr Monkey reckons councillor Khan may have had the last laugh as he watched from afar.

21
Dec
08

Monkey Clip

As it’s nearly Christmas Mr Monkey thought it’s time he showed a little bit of Christmas spirit so he’s dedicating this week’s Monkey Clip to Council Leader Iain Malcolm – a man in denial.

CLICK HERE and enjoy.

10
Dec
08

A Pig With 5 Chins!

"I'd love to get my chins round this ball"

"I'd love to get my chins round this ball"

It looks as though council leader Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm has been so busy wanking playing the boss that he’s forgotten one of the basic rules of media manipulation .. don’t say something that might come back and bite you in the arse. Although in his case the dirty bastard might enjoy it!

Mr Monkey nearly choked on his bananas when he read this piece of shit about new changing facilities for the football pitches on the Dragon, CLICK HERE. 

According to councillor Malcolm, the development,

 “is the beginning of a major transformation of our Foreshore” 

but it’s this bit that almost choked Mr Monkey,

“and will also boost our efforts to increase participation in sport and exercise”.

This is from the same fuckwit that wanted to build a super casino on Gypsies Green Stadium and when that failed he decided to build a hotel and conference centre on it.

Mr Monkey is confused because the last time he looked, Gypsies Green Stadium was being used for sport and exercise which we now learn Miss Piggy is keen to push, at least that’s what his paper says.

So is councillor Malcolm a liar or did he open his fat gob without thinking about the consequences?

Seems the twat forgot where he was for a minute and looks to have scored an own goal of mega proportions. Mr Monkey reckons this slip of his tongue will cost him dear in 2011 when he’s likely to be voted out of office for remarks like this.

Mr Monkey will leave readers with this thought – take a close look at the picture of councillor Iain Malcolm, especially the triple chins - he’d do well to heed his own advice and get some exercise before his colleagues start calling him ‘Piggy Five Chins’.




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