Archive for the 'Gordon Brown' Category

18
Jun
09

miliband and hepburn caught with their snouts in the trough

The Pig Sty House of Commons has finally published details of MPs’ expenses claims - more than a year after the High Court ordered their publication and weeks after they were leaked to the Daily Telegraph.

Revelations about their claims have forced some MPs to announce their resignations and yesterday junior Treasury minister, Kitty Ussher became the latest MP to quit the Government following allegations that she avoided paying capital gains tax by “flipping” her second home.

The list of MPs expenses includes printed documents and receipts relating to claims made between 2004/05 and 2007/08 for a series of parliamentary allowances, but it seems they are still a bit coy about telling the public the whole truth - many details have been blanked out or have been left out altogether.

These include claims under the £24,000-a-year Additional Costs Allowance, which reimburses MPs for the cost of having to maintain a second home while serving at Westminster; the £22,000 Incidental Expenses Provision, which pays for running an office; and the £10,400 Communications Allowance, which covers the cost of newsletters and websites to inform constituents about their activities; as well as details of expenditure on stationery and postage.

Many of the expense claims and supporting receipts feature large blacked out areas where it’s not always clear what has been obscured or why.

The list does not include the addresses of MPs’ homes, which means it’s virtually impossible to identify so-called flipping - where MPs switch the designation of their second properties to maximise their claims and avoid paying capital gains tax.

Also blanked out are the details of people and companies to whom payments were made using expenses and correspondence between MPs and the Commons Fees Office have also been removed.

But despite this cover up it seems our local MPs have well and truly had their snouts in the trough, CLICK HERE for details of Jarrow MP, Stephen Hepburn’s expenses and HERE for details South Shields MP, David Miliband’s claims.

28
Apr
09

Iain Malcolm – a man of principle

The borough’s other blogger seems to have ejaculated all over his computer screen at the prospect of South Tyneside’s council leader Iain Malcolm jumping into bed with the Conservatives at their spring conference in Cheltenham.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but those close to this devious twat will know what an opportunistic bastard he is and that he’ll stop at nothing to keep his corrupt hands on the reigns of power, even snuggling up to a Tory or two.

Apparently he was in Cheltenham on behalf of Sovereign Strategy the political lobbying company that he runs and is a shareholder in and despite the shouts of ecstasy from certain quarters, Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether this “consummate politician” has seen the writing on the wall and has joined the increasing number of Labour politicians who have thrown the towel in - it’s only a matter of time before they return to the political wilderness and warm there arses on the opposition benches.

This chimp reckons his arse fondling licking at the Tory conference had nothing to do with South Tyneside and everything to do with making sure he’s on the right side when it comes to lobbying those with clout .. and Gordon hasn’t got much of that left.

25
Jan
09

Gaza Atrocities Revealed

Seems everyone has an opinion about the Gaza conflict and a week after a ceasefire was declared, Mr Monkey is beginning to get a clearer picture about some of the atrocities that were committed against the people of Gaza.

Mr Monkey would like to share this picture with his readers.

Take a look at this slide show by CLICKING HERE - this is what happens when world leaders including our own Prime Minister, Gordon Brown and his Foreign Secretary, David Miliband fail to take decisive action to stop the use of disproportionate force against a largely civilian population trapped in one of the world’s most densely populated areas. 

Mr Monkey makes no apologies for his slide show and reckons that these pictures speak louder than any words.

BUT BE WARNED - you may find some of the images disturbing. 

19
Jan
09

The Week Ahead

The week ahead will go down in history as one of the momentous of our time

It’s the week when: 

George W Bush is consigned to the history books and will be remembered as the worst US President ever
Barack Obama becomes the first African American President of America
Labour Prime Minister Gordon Brown saddles future generations with yet more debt
Kaka joins Manchester City and becomes the first £100 million pound footballer
Mr Monkey’s Blog reaches the 100,000 hits milestone in record time
The long awaited list of ‘Monkey Suspects’ is published
Graham Glitter aka Curly has an ape free day and doesn’t post or comment about the borough’s premier blogger Mr Monkey
The Fat Mackem Hobbit admits he’s obssesed with all things ape and that he’ll do anything to feed off Mr Monkey’s success
and David Miliband spends a day in his constituency; watch out for him on Ocean Road.

01
Jan
09

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Mr Monkey is probably one of only a handful of people up this morning following a night of excessive drinking and merry making. The only reason he’s busy clearing up the mess left behind by family and friends – thank fuck they were people I know!

So Mr Monkey thought now is a good an opportunity as any to wish you all a ..

 HAPPY, HEALTHY, PROSPEROUS AND ENJOYABLE NEW YEAR

but somehow Mr Monkey reckons it’s going to be a tough year for many, especially if Gordon Brown and his fuckwits hang on to power for another year.

09
Dec
08

If Only Woolies Was A Bank?

Mr Monkey reckons Gordon Brown might come to the rescue of Woolies .. but only if they were a bank.

Woolworths, if you’re listening it’s time to convert to a BANK!

Then all you’ve got to do to grab Gordon’s attention is transfer all your debts from your retail operation to your bank. Pretty soon Gordon will come galloping to your rescue as he loves nothing better than bailing banks out of the shit they get themselves into.

It’s just manufacturing and retail that he couldn’t give a fuck about.

03
Dec
08

EXCLUSIVE: South Tyneside Council Lends £122 Million To Banks

Earlier this week Mr Monkey exclusively revealed that South Tyneside Council had invested money in Icelandic banks, CLICK HERE but withdrew it before the system collapsed.

Mr Mr Monkey can now exclusively reveal that South Tyneside Council regularly plays the money markets and loves risking taxpayers money on the world’s financial markets.

Currently South Tyneside Council has lend around £122 million of our money to various banks and financial institutions around the world. In return the council receives interest on the money it lends - the higher the interest – the greater the risk.

Here’s a list of who the council has lent money to:-

Barclays Bank – £10 million
Lloyds TSB – £3 million
National Australia Bank – £3 million
Allied Irish Bank – £10 million
Bank of Ireland – £10 million
Anglo Irish Bank – £5 million
Nationwide Building Society – £10 million
EBS Building Society – £8 million
Bank of Scotland – £9 million
Alliance and Leicester – £200,000
Abbey National – £3 million
Natwest SIBA – £5.78 million
Standard Life Money Market Fund – £8 million
DEPFA Bank – £2 million
Unicredito Italiano – £10 million
Coventry Building Society – £10 million
Chelsea Building Society – £10 million
Leeds Building Society – £5 million

Mr Monkey would like to remind the fuckwits in the town hall that the world’s money markets are in chaos and the banking system is on the verge of collapse - it’s time you stopped playing the financial markets before you bankrupt the borough and find yourselves behind bars.

28
Nov
08

Labour Activists Scared Shitless

Mr Monkey suspects that even members of the Labour party must feel scared shitless by the news that Conservative MP Damian Green, their frontbench Home Affairs spokesman on Immigration, had been arrested by the Metropolitan Police. He also had his homes and offices searched, including his office at the Palace of Westminster, by “Counter Terrorism Police”.

The police action followed the arrest 10 days ago of a government employee who had allegedly leaked four documents to Green, who in turn passed them to the press. They were:

1. A home office memo, which appeared in the Daily Mail on 13 November 2007, which showed that the home secretary Jacqui Smith had been warned four months earlier that thousands of illegal immigrants had been cleared to work in sensitive Whitehall security jobs. The memo emerged days after the Sunday Mirror disclosed that at least 5,000 illegal immigrants had been cleared by the Security Industry Authority to work in sensitive Whitehall locations.

2. An email to the then home office minister Liam Byrne in February this year which showed that he was informed about an illegal Brazilian immigrant who faked an identity pass to work in Parliament. The memo, which was published in the Sunday Telegraph on 10 February this year, said Byrne was informed on 31 January. Byrne was accused of a cover up.

3. A list of Labour MPs who were likely to rebel against the government’s plans to detain terror suspects for up to 42 days without charge. This appeared in the Sunday Times on 20 April 2008.

4. A letter from Jacqui Smith to Gordon Brown warning that a recession would lead to a rise in crime. This appeared in a number of papers, including the Guardian, on 1 September this year.

None of these stories involved any breach of security, only political embarrassment for the incompetent Labour party politicians.

In a Metroploitan Police statement a spokesperson said,

“The investigation into the alleged leak of confidential government material followed the receipt by the Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) of a complaint from the Cabinet Office. The decision to make today’s arrest was taken solely by the MPS without any ministerial knowledge or approval.”

Yeah right!

Mr Monkey cannot believe that some twat was prepared to waste scarce “Counter Terrorism Police” resources - on a day when security around the world should have been on high alert following the events in Mumbai – on this blatantly political investigation. Are ordinary Policemen no longer capable of searching an office of an Member of Parliament, he’s hardly going to flee the country is he?

It is irrelevant whether or not Gordon Brown or any other senior Labour politicians were aware of Thursday’s arrest beforehand, or not, they’re to blame politically.

This affair also reflects badly on Sir Paul Stephenson, the deputy to Sir Ian Blair, who is taking over as Acting Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police Service. If he is seen to be continuing Sir Ian Blair’s NuLabour political policing style, then he must not be allowed to be promoted into that job full time.

27
Nov
08

Government Tries to Hide Free Heroin!

For once this has got nothing to do with the Taliban, Al Qaeeda or the Afghan people. It’s down to Gordon Brown and his Government.

Apparently the Government is insisting that the location of 26 sites in Hampshire used to grow opium poppies must remain secret.

This follows a Freedom of Information (FOI) request from local newspaper, the Daily Echo, CLICK HERE which has revealed that leafy Hampshire is the heroin growing capital of the UK.

The poppy fields should be easy enough to spot, drop Mr Monkey a line if you see one!

The poppies are used to produce morphine to sustain the high levels of drug abuse morphine used as a pain killer within the NHS.

It’s a rarely known fact that all poppies contain opium including the distinctive bright red, wild poppies that grow in the UK. Although they aren’t as strong as their Eastern cousin, the opium poppy, they can still be used to make a refreshing if vile tasting opium tea – google opium tea recipe.

Mr Monkey wouldn’t mind seeing an FOI request on how many of the poppies ‘go missing’ between the field and the medicine cabinet.

It’s also little known that it’s entirely legal to grow opium poppies in the UK for ornamental use, something encouraged by the government.

The Department of Culture, Media and Sports funded Plant Cultures website states, “Opium poppies grow well in the British climate – why not try it?”

How ironic then that the proceeds from the British Government’s own lucrative drug industry are indirectly used to wipe out their competitors another country’s drug production on the pretext that the cash it generates is used to sponsor terrorism.

14
Oct
08

Doc Brown Goes Back To The Future

So Gordon Brown has took a trip back in time after his recent cabinet reshuffle with the shock recall of EU trade commissioner Peter Mandelson as Business Secretary.

Peter Mandelson, a serial quiter from the Cabinet, will become a Lord to take the role, something had to make it worthwhile him leaving the EU gravy train.

It seems Gordon Brown’s desperation knows no bounds. Why else would he appoint a controversial arch Blairite with a history of trouble to his cabinet unless he has a cunning plan.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Mandelson is set to become the new fall guy in the Cabinet, taking the heat off the Prime Minister?

How long will he last this time? And how will the public react?

In another reshuffle, Alistair Campbell, former Press Officer for Tony Blair, returns to the gravy train Labour Government as external adviser and will no doubt be handsomely rewarded for his trouble.

So its back with Campbell and Mandelson then. The only person missing from the old ‘junta’ is Tony Blair and we’d be right back in the 90′s again. 

We couldn’t get any more Back to the Future if the deranged ‘Doc Emmett’ Gordon Brown’ had arrived at 10 Downing Street in a De Lorean.

He must feel like Marty McFly fading away on stage, whilst waiting for the public to embrace the New Labour message again.

Its a pity for him that we’re on the same trip as he is and lightning won’t strike that clock tower twice!




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