Archive for the 'Jimmy Sewell' Category

22
May
09

Labour councillors paid almost half a million pounds

Its Labour’s turn to face Mr Monkey’s how much do they cost the taxpayer test.

When bloggers look at the figures it’s easy to see why so many Labour stalwarts have been around for so long. No wonder they squeal like pigs on the way to the slaughter house when they face the prospect of being dragged away from the trough.

Mr Monkey also reckons that this is why their lives are decimated when the electorate kick them out and why so many of them try and grab someone else’s seat on the council. This is the only way they can get their snouts back in the trough – there’s never been any honour amongst thieves especially when it comes to money.

Here are some of the highlights from The Labour Greed List,

• Coun Iain Malcolm made the highest claim at £32,435 (£623.75 a week)

• Coun Alan Kerr claimed at £23,319 (£448.44 a week)

• Coun Ernest Gibson claimed a record £4,932.27 for travel and subsistence

• Coun Rob Dix treated himself to a new BMW when he was elected. This delivery driver receives an annual boost to his salary from the taxpayer of around £14,000.

• After replacing Paul Waggott as leader of the council, Coun Malcolm promptly put the boot in by not giving Coun Linda Waggott a place at his trough. She was the only Labour councillor not to receive a special responsibility allowance.

Mr Monkey was staggered to learn that almost half a million pounds of taxpayers money was paid to just 31 Labour councillors and for what? Most of them can’t string a sentence together and couldn’t care less about the people they represent, that is until it’s time for their re-election.

The cost of each Labour councillor to the taxpayer in 2008 – 09 was a staggering £15,029.83.

Name

Allowance

Travel

Subsistence

Total

Weekly Cost

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anglin, J

11,760

11,760

226.15

Bell, J

16,464

16,464

316.61

Boyack, P

13,833

691.25

152.33

14,676

282.23

Brady, W  E

16,464

16,464

316.61

Clare, M H

16,464

16,464

316.61

Dix, R

14,112

14,112

271.38

Dixon, T

15,352

1,566.80

315.62

17,234

331.43

Donaldson, A

8,168

129.63

8,297

159.55

Foreman, J

16,464

800.15

214.01

17,478

336.11

Gibson, E

16,186

3,431.90

1,500.37

21,118

406.12

Hanson, T

16,464

16,464

316.61

Kerr, A

22,408

733.47

177.63

23,319

448.44

Leask, E

14,112

14,112

271.38

Lewell, E L

11,760

11,760

226.15

Malcolm, E

16,464

1,253.10

605.91

18,323

352.36

Malcolm, I

31,817

239.00

379.82

32,435

623.75

Maxwell, N E

16,464

228.50

72.94

16,765

322.40

McAtominey, E

12,962

638.40

53.12

13,653

262.56

McCabe, J G

14,112

14,112

271.38

McMillan, A

11,481

11,481

220.78

Meeks, J

14,112

334.60

160.61

14,607

280.90

Perry, J

16,464

16,464

316.61

Piggot, T

11,760

11,760

226.15

Punchion, O

11,760

102.40

11,862

228.11

Scorer, B

14,112

211.20

111.75

14,434

277.57

Sewell, J

16,464

658.75

734.78

17,857

343.40

Spraggon, S

11,203

151.20

11,354

218.34

Stewart, A M

13,833

114.90

88.47

14,036

269.92

Strike, A

11,760

56.00

11,816

227.23

Waggott, L I

7,056

7,056

135.69

Walsh, A

8,486

372.00

15.42

8,873

170.63

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTALS:

450,321*

10,892.37

4,712.41

465,925*

8,973.16

*These figures do not include pence

07
May
09

exclusive: councillor sewell left out in the cold

EXCLUSIVE: Poor councillor Sewell the long suffering Labour member for Monkton faces the ultimate humiliation at Saturday’s Labour group meeting .

Apparently councillor Sewell who 12 months ago was forced out of the decision making cabinet and given a chair of a select committee with a salary of £10,000,  is set to receive absolutely nothing at Saturday’s gathering of the pigs – a clear sign that council leader Iain Malcolm intends to consolidate his grip on the reigns of power.

Many including Mr Monkey reckoned councillor Sewell would be made deputy mayor as he’s made no secret of the fact that he wanted to become mayor before he stands down.

It seems Iain Malcolm knew this and has decided to show his dominance by slapping poor old Jimmy in the face – never mind councillor Sewell, Mr Monkey has heard that the Independents are looking for a candidate in Monkton.

04
Mar
09

donkey to become mayor

'The next deputy mayor but who'll be his consort?'

'The next deputy mayor but who'll be his consort?'

It seems South Tyneside council’s ruling Labour group is set to take the piss out of the people of the borough by following Hartlepool’s example and opting for animal as it’s mayor.

A source close to the ‘old fish wife’, aka councillor Barry Scorer has confirmed that the next deputy mayor – who by default becomes mayor – is none other than Donkey, aka councillor urgh, urgh Sewell.

There’s currently a debate raging in the Labour party about who his deputy mayoress is likely to be given that the dirty bastard was caught cheating on his wife. Although Mr Monkey has learned she’s recently allowed him back into her life now that he’s washed his dick and promised not to wander again.

Mr Monkey reckons he’s bribed her with an offer to become mayoress, but he’s now worried that his best mate Shrek, aka councillor Gibson will spill the beans on what they really get up to when they’re out on the drink, especially as he feels he’s been stabbed in the back and is unlikely to become Donkey’s consort.

Whatever happens, the mayor’s parlour is certain to become a drinking den, at our expense and Dorothy Wilcox won’t take too well to mucking out – it couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

17
Feb
09

Bilbo Loves Ping Pong

'Mayor Baggins loves his ping pong'

'Mayor Baggins is considering using his mayor's allowance to buy himself a momento of his visit to the Flying Scotsman'

Last week Mr Monkey revealed how some South Tyneside councillors love nothing more than an away-day to London, especially if there’s a chance to pop in to the Flying Scotsman to watch some dirty tart strut her stuff; all for a bit of loose change, CLICK HERE 

Mr Monkey recalls a story he heard in the members lounge about soon to be mayor Bilbo Baggins, aka councillor John Anglin.

Apparently Bilbo had been in London for the day with a few of his cronies including Shrek, aka councillor Gibson and his Donkey, aka councillor Sewell when they decided to call in to their favourite watering hole for a quick drink fanny farm to see what tasty morsels were on the menu.

As soon as they entered this perverts paradise, they were approached by a rough looking Eastern European slapper, who even Shrek wouldn’t shag.

Luckily for Bilbo, this lass took a shine to him and kept shaking her empty pint glass at him – she was after a bit of loose change so she got get her kit off and perform her party trick. 

Bilbo quickly obliged and before he could say Gandalf, this dodgy slapper was on the stage dropping her draws and flashing her fanny for all to see.

Bilbo had never seen anything like it before and his glasses steamed up so quickly, Shrek had to provide him with demisting cloth – but the best was still to come.

Apparently Hobbits love ping pong and somebody had told the star of the show. No sooner had she finished exercising her fanny, she appeared with a box of ping pong balls.

This Queen of Sleaze crouched down, opened her legs and loaded her fanny with the full box of ping pong balls. She then turned towards Bilbo, gave him a quick wink and started to fire them in the direction of this ecstatic hobbit.

By now, Bilbo’s glasses were so steamed up he didn’t realise that he was being hit by ping pong balls and his suit was getting covered an unusual substance with a familiar odour.

It was only when Shrek and Donkey picked him up off the floor and helped him to the train for the journey back to Newcastle did he realise what he’d done.

This is when the guilt set in as he wondered how he’d explain the staining on his suit and the whiff of a kipper to Berylla Baggins, aka Chris Anglin.

Mr Monkey reckons the mayor’s secretary will have to keep an eye on the mayoral chains just in case Bilbo is tempted to swap the golden balls for the more familiar fishy type.

12
Feb
09

Desperate Councillors and The Flying Scotsman

'The members lounge'

'The members lounge'

Certain South Tyneside councillors love nothing more than an away day in London, especially when the council throws in a First Class rail journey, an overnight allowance of £120 quid and the chance of a pint whilst getting up close and personal to some of the dirtiest slappers a quid can buy.

These pillars of society blood sucking perverts con their loved ones into thinking that they’re away at a conference or on a training course when all the time their minds are on some tart who’ll drop her knickers and do all sorts of lewd things with a mars bar, a tub of Vaseline, a can of shaving foam and a box of balls – and all this for the price of a couple of Gazettes.

Apparently our local councillors love nothing more than congregating in a sleazy pub called the Flying Scotsman which is next door to Kings Cross railway station.

Anyone who knows London will tell you what a seedy place Kings Cross is and how some of Eastern Europe’ most desperate and destitute women scratch a living by entertaining depraved and perverted scum. 

The pub is boarded up on the outside and is dark and dingy on the inside and is reputed to have the worst toilets in the world. Once inside it won’t be long before you’ll see a girl writhing around on the tiny raised stage as another one circulates the room with a plastic pint pot collecting loose change. It amazing what a quid will get you these days.

House rules are so simple even a fuckwit like councillor Jimmy ‘The Donkey’ Sewell can understand them – urh, the more that goes in the pot, the more that comes off – and the more obscene the presentation.

It’s amazing what a desperate woman can do with a with a box of ping pong balls – but more of that later!

27
Jan
09

Shame On You – You’re A Disgrace

Today is Holocaust Memorial Day.

Yes January 27th is the day when people throughout the world remember the victims of the Nazi Holocaust and of more recent genocides in Cambodia, Darfur, Bosnia, Rwanda, Iraq and Palestine.

Numerous ceremonies to remember the victims of these atrocities have taken place up and down the country including here in South Tyneside where each year the Mayor hosts a ceremony on behalf of the people of the borough to make the occasion.

Apparently today’s guests included a select band of children, members of the public, church goers, a few council officers, a handful of councillors and the usual band of Labour party activists – Mr Monkey is still waiting for details of these scrounging bastards but can confirm that Pat Morris and Jack Brown were seen loitering around the buffet table.

The ceremony itself apparently included several readings, recitals, a prayer, and a few words (via letters) from our local MP’s. There was also a flower laying and candle lighting ceremony.

Mr Monkey can confirm that although today’s ceremony was well attended it seems most councillors, executive directors of the council and business leaders couldn’t be bothered to turn up.

According to a source inside the town hall only 11 councillors out of a possible 54 had the decency to make an appearance, these included: councillors Alex Donaldson, John Anglin, Peter Boyack, Jim Foreman, Ahmed Khan, Jane Branley, Joan Meeks, Tom Piggot, Jimmy Sewell, Ernest Gibson and Alan Kerr.

Notable absences included the Chuckle Brothers, aka Ian and Ed Malcolm, Michael Clare, Bill Brady (Lead Member for Equality and Diversity), Tracy Dixon, Joanne Bell, Audrey McMillan, Linda Waggott, Barry Scorer, John McCabe, Jim Perry and Tom Hanson.

The King of Sleaze Tory Boy David Potts and his two stooges Wood and Millburn, all three Liberal Democrats, the two representatives of the We’ve Finally Made Our Mind Up Party Real Independents councillors Lurch and Red Rum Haram and Elsom plus their new lackey Tom Defty were all conspicuous by their absence.

Apparently the Progressives didn’t bother turning up because they still think its 1986.

Mr Monkey reckons that each and every one of you lazy bastards who couldn’t be bothered to turn up should hang your heads in shame – in the words of the King of Sleaze .. “you’re a disgrace”.

13
Dec
08

Hobbit’s Cracker Mystery Revealed

The Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire Curly’s Corner Shop has taken a leaf out of Mr Monkey’s book and is running his own Monkey Puzzle.

Apparently he’s heard that a local political figure has pulled a Christmas Cracker but is waiting for more details. Just so you don’t have to wade through the crap on The Fat Mackem Hobbit’s blog, Mr Monkey thought he would save you the trouble and give readers the answer.

The lucky bastard was none other than councillor Ernest Gibson, aka Shrek – apparently this stunner is a union lass from Newcastle.

Seems Shrek may have someone other than ‘hurh, hurh’, Jimmy Sewell to share his Christmas pud with this year!