Archive for the 'Journalist' Category

21
Jul
09

mr monkey calls it a day

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can go home'

'Mr Monkey calls it a day so he can return home to enjoy his retirement'

It’s been nearly a year since Mr Monkey burst on to the local political scene with the redesigned version of Mr Monkey’s Blog

.. and what a year it’s been.

This chimp had no idea of the effect his blog would have on politicians of all parties and senior council officers or the impact it would have on local politcs.

Mr Monkey quickly built up a following amongst local bloggers and within weeks, Mr Monkey’s Blog established itself as South Tyneside’s premier blog, much to the annoyance of some.

There have been many highlights during the last 12 months but Mr Monkey’s favourites are:-

  • Ending councillor David Potts political career before it started by getting him deselected as the Tory candidate to fight Alistair Darling.
  • Ensuring that the people of Washington East and Houghton knew what a devious and scheming individual Ed Malcom was. This played a major part  in his failure to become their prospective member of Parliament.
  • Exposing council leader Iain Malcolm as an election fraudster.
  • Knowing that Irene Lucas, the Chief Executive of South Tyneside Council could not control, manipulate or stop Mr Monkey and that his blog was the worst thing that happened to her in her local government career.
  • Knowing that every politician feared being exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog and despite what they said, knowing that everyone of them read it daily.
  • Exposing Ed Malcolm’s long term affair with his ‘granny’, aka councillor Punchion
  • ‘Outing’ Iain Malcolm.
  • Continually thwarting the attempts of senior council officials to stop Mr Monkey’s Blog and reveal the identity of Mr Monkey.
  • Frustrating South Tyneside’s most self opinionated blogger, the Fat Mackem Hobitt.
  • Exposing Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local Malcolm Fanzine, aka the Shields Gazette as a Labour groupie, freeloader and that he sold his soul to Labour for the price of a sausage roll.
  • Knowing that all the pseudonyms Mr Monkey has used will be around for years to come.

After achieving every goal Mr Monkey set himself – in record time – this chimp has decided to give his victims an early birthday present – Mr Monkey is going to call it a day on Thursday 30th July.

Mr Monkey has spent the last couple of months agonising over whether or not to retire and after talking it over with a few wiser chimps, he’s decided to take their advice and return to the jungle to enjoy his retirement and spend more time with his family.

Although Mr Monkey has decided to call it a day, he hasn’t yet made up his mind about whether to leave Mr Monkey’s Blog on the internet for future generations to enjoy or whether to remove it forever – that decision will be made on International Primate Day.

Make sure you stop by on Tuesday 1st September .. when all will be revealed.

21
Jun
09

monkey clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to Lalon Amin of Bangla Awaz, the Labour party’s lackey and editor of the Malcolm Fanzine, Papa John Szymanski, editor of the local news snoozepaper and Ahmed Khan the ‘camera shy’ councillor who seems to love nothing more than a headline or two.

27
Apr
09

twat of the week

'Twat of the Week .. again'

'Twat of the Week .. again'

There’s only one contender for the Twat of the Week award and that’s Papa John Szymanski, the Labour party lackey who moonlights as the editor of the Shields Gazette Malcolm Fanzine.

According to this post CLICK HERE he did’nt take kindly to being told the truth about his unhealthy relationship with Labour council leader, Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy. 

Papa John ignored his own senior management, preferring instead to seek the advice of alleged election fraudster councillor Iain Malcolm. Apparently he told him to use the council’s code of conduct to lodge a formal complaint against the author of the article.

Unfortunately Papa John didn’t think of the consequences of his actions and in his desperation to stop any criticism he’s allowed the Shields Gazette to become the biggest joke in the North East, whilst at the same time he has become a figure of ridicule within his profession.

Congratulations Mr Szymanski with poor judgement like this, you deserve the titleTwat of the Week and perhaps it’s time your other employer, Johnston Press took decisive action against you.

25
Mar
09

their worst nightmare: Mr Monkey returns!

'Hero worship - coun Iain Malcolm is set to join an exclusive club of election fraudsters headed by his political hero Robert Mugabe'

'Hero worship - coun Iain Malcolm is set to join an exclusive club of election fraudsters headed by his political hero Robert Mugabe'

It seems Mr Monkey’s sudden disappearance has resulted in all kinds of speculation as to his whereabouts, with politicians, council officers and bloggers all left wondering what’s happened to this naughty chimp.

Mr Monkey reckons that for the last 7 days the borough’s political elite, senior council officers and Mr Grumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski at the Gazette have been hoping and praying that their nightmare was finally over and that the chimp’s sudden silence finally signalled the end of Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Sorry to disappoint you miserable bastards but nothing could be further from the truth – you’re nightmares are about to get a whole lot worse!

Mr Monkey took some time out to recharge his batteries, follow up a few interesting leads and finalise his investigations into the culture of election fraud in the local Labour party.

It seems that council leader Iain Malcolm has cheated his way to the top and that his unique vision of democracy in action wouldn’t be out of place in Zimbabwe. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the results of his month long investigation into election fraud and ballot rigging in South Tyneside will be published tomorrow and he reckons that senior local Labour politicians won’t sleep too well tonight knowing what Mr Monkey is about to publish will expose many of their corrupt and devious practises which have helped keep them power for so long.

If you don’t miss out on these exclusive revelations, keep eye on Mr Monkey Blog over the next day or so.

09
Mar
09

gazette watch

Bloggers will have noticed that the local snooze paper has become the official voice of the borough’s Labour run council and that it’s editor Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski has handed over editorial control to his paymaster council leader Iain Malcolm.

This has been a gradual process and at first Papa John paid lip service to his profession by at least appearing to be reporting things from a neutral perspective and even appeared to occasionally challenge the shit churned out by the Minister of Propaganda, Linda Fothergill, aka the council’s Head of Communications.

Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm, quickly realised how easy it was to manipulate Mr Dumpy – all he had to do was make him feel loved, invite him to council functions and make sure the fat bastard could stuff his face with free sausagee rolls – and the Gazette was his to control.

But over the last month Mr Monkey has noticed that Papa John Szymanski appears to have handed over editorial control to the local Labour party and they in turn seem to publish whatever they want with little or no involvement from the paper’s journalists, especially the so called council reporter Paul Myles Kelly.

Mr Monkey thought he’d test this theory by comparing the council’s latest press release about a possible reduction in council rents with Paul Myles Kelly’s article. CLICK HERE.

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

This chimp was astounded by the results and proves beyond doubt that Papa John Szymanski is nothing more than Miss Piggy’s plaything and that the Gazette is just another propaganda tool for the local Labour run council.

Judge for yourself – below is the press release issued by the council

COUNCIL RECONSIDERS RENTS FOLLOWING GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Council tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council has already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the Council is now reconsidering that figure following today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175 million to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The Council’s Lead Member Resources, Councillor Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government. Both the Council and the Board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time, and we have been pressing the Government to rethink its position. We are delighted that the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for Council tenants. I have instructed officers to assess the revised position following this afternoon’s announcement with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that Council tenants can benefit. We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”

The Council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy. This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As Council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full Council.

Now compare this to the article below that appeared in the The Labour Gazetteer, formerly known as the Shields Gazette. The differences between the 2 articles have been highlighted in red and amount to a change of title, the addition of 8 words and the removal of 2 others.

TENANTS IN LINE FOR RENT CUTS

COUNCIL house tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a major reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council had already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the council is now reconsidering that figure after today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175m to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The council’s lead member for resources, Coun Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government.

“Both the council and the board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time.

“We have been pressing the Government to rethink its position, and we are delighted the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for council tenants.

“I have instructed officers to assess the revised position after this announcement, with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that council tenants can benefit.

“We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”
 
The council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy.
 
This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full council, at a meeting on March 26.
Well done Paul Myles Kelly, another worthwhile piece of investigative journalism worthy of your profession the Gazette.
07
Mar
09

Twat of the week

'Mr Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

TWAT OF THE WEEK 'Miss Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

There can only be one winner this week following his fuckwit comments made at another Labour party council bash in the town hall.

Mr Monkey can reveal that the Labour party had another do in the town hall last Friday at the taxpayers expense and all the usual scroungers were in attendance including Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm and his lackey Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski editor of the Gazette.

Bloggers stupid enough to waste 42p on the local snooze paper can’t have failed to have noticed that editorial control has been handed over to the local Labour party their minister of propaganda Linda Fothergill.

Mr Monkey can confirm that the takeover has finally been completed at a ceremony last Friday when Papa John sat at the top table and was given a plate of his favourite sausage rolls as a reward for all his dedication and hard work on behalf of the party.

Before formally accepting the keys to the Papa John’s office, Miss Piggy acknowledged Mr Dumpy’s achievements and praised him for his outstanding and unbiased reporting and told the assembled crowd of scroungers that it was with some regret that he had decided to change the name of the Shields Gazette to The Labour Gazetteer.

Cum on Miss Piggy if you are that desperate to feel his Papa John’s arse you should have just asked him, there was no need to lick it.

Yes you’ve guessed it – The Twat Of The Week is council leader Iain Malcolm affectionately known as Miss Piggy.

21
Feb
09

Happy New Year Angela – it’s 2009

'Angie Van Gogh with has ear to the ground'

'Angie Van Gogh has her ear to the ground'

Mr Monkey appreciates that the Gazette Malcolm Fanzine has a piss poor reputation when it comes to reporting on up to the minute news. But this article by Angela Reed about heart diease CLICK HERE has got be the most out of date piece of journalism this chimp has ever seen.

According to Ms Reed, who obviously has her ear to the ground – that’s why her colleagues call her ‘Van Gogh’ – the borough’s health chiefs are the best in the region when it comes to tackling coronary heart disease.

The only problem is that this bold statement so willingly reproduced by Ms Reed is based on 2006 figures.

In case you haven’t realised Angie, it’s 2009 and yes there are new figures available. But to get them you’ll have to do what any decent journalist does and find them – that means getting off your arse and looking.