Archive for the 'Mr Miserable' Category

22
May
09

Labour councillors paid almost half a million pounds

Its Labour’s turn to face Mr Monkey’s how much do they cost the taxpayer test.

When bloggers look at the figures it’s easy to see why so many Labour stalwarts have been around for so long. No wonder they squeal like pigs on the way to the slaughter house when they face the prospect of being dragged away from the trough.

Mr Monkey also reckons that this is why their lives are decimated when the electorate kick them out and why so many of them try and grab someone else’s seat on the council. This is the only way they can get their snouts back in the trough – there’s never been any honour amongst thieves especially when it comes to money.

Here are some of the highlights from The Labour Greed List,

• Coun Iain Malcolm made the highest claim at £32,435 (£623.75 a week)

• Coun Alan Kerr claimed at £23,319 (£448.44 a week)

• Coun Ernest Gibson claimed a record £4,932.27 for travel and subsistence

• Coun Rob Dix treated himself to a new BMW when he was elected. This delivery driver receives an annual boost to his salary from the taxpayer of around £14,000.

• After replacing Paul Waggott as leader of the council, Coun Malcolm promptly put the boot in by not giving Coun Linda Waggott a place at his trough. She was the only Labour councillor not to receive a special responsibility allowance.

Mr Monkey was staggered to learn that almost half a million pounds of taxpayers money was paid to just 31 Labour councillors and for what? Most of them can’t string a sentence together and couldn’t care less about the people they represent, that is until it’s time for their re-election.

The cost of each Labour councillor to the taxpayer in 2008 – 09 was a staggering £15,029.83.

Name

Allowance

Travel

Subsistence

Total

Weekly Cost

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anglin, J

11,760

11,760

226.15

Bell, J

16,464

16,464

316.61

Boyack, P

13,833

691.25

152.33

14,676

282.23

Brady, W  E

16,464

16,464

316.61

Clare, M H

16,464

16,464

316.61

Dix, R

14,112

14,112

271.38

Dixon, T

15,352

1,566.80

315.62

17,234

331.43

Donaldson, A

8,168

129.63

8,297

159.55

Foreman, J

16,464

800.15

214.01

17,478

336.11

Gibson, E

16,186

3,431.90

1,500.37

21,118

406.12

Hanson, T

16,464

16,464

316.61

Kerr, A

22,408

733.47

177.63

23,319

448.44

Leask, E

14,112

14,112

271.38

Lewell, E L

11,760

11,760

226.15

Malcolm, E

16,464

1,253.10

605.91

18,323

352.36

Malcolm, I

31,817

239.00

379.82

32,435

623.75

Maxwell, N E

16,464

228.50

72.94

16,765

322.40

McAtominey, E

12,962

638.40

53.12

13,653

262.56

McCabe, J G

14,112

14,112

271.38

McMillan, A

11,481

11,481

220.78

Meeks, J

14,112

334.60

160.61

14,607

280.90

Perry, J

16,464

16,464

316.61

Piggot, T

11,760

11,760

226.15

Punchion, O

11,760

102.40

11,862

228.11

Scorer, B

14,112

211.20

111.75

14,434

277.57

Sewell, J

16,464

658.75

734.78

17,857

343.40

Spraggon, S

11,203

151.20

11,354

218.34

Stewart, A M

13,833

114.90

88.47

14,036

269.92

Strike, A

11,760

56.00

11,816

227.23

Waggott, L I

7,056

7,056

135.69

Walsh, A

8,486

372.00

15.42

8,873

170.63

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTALS:

450,321*

10,892.37

4,712.41

465,925*

8,973.16

*These figures do not include pence

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20
May
09

how much does councillor defty cost the taxpayer?

In the past year Mr Miserable, councillor Tom Defty the former Labour councillor who became an Independent claimed £7056 in allowances and £293 for travel and subsistence.

This brought the total cost to the taxpayer for the year 2008 – 09 to £7,349 or £141.32 a week.

16
May
09

the monkey clip returns

This time last week council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy was in his element sat in his pen with his tits exposed watching his piglets arguing over who’d get to suck on them first and he knew they’d all want to impress him because he was about to handout his yearly treats.

Now that the dust has settled and Miss Piggy’s tits are returning to normal, Mr Monkey thought he’d dedicate this week’s Monkey Clip to all those poor bastards who got fuck all.

Keep your eye on the little pig in the corner, he’s called Tom and it seems that the fat sow has rejected the poor runt and has decided not to feed him anymore and this chimp reckons it’s time Tom tried his luck elsewhere – give your mate Bernard a call and he’ll send a bus for you.

25
Mar
09

their worst nightmare: Mr Monkey returns!

'Hero worship - coun Iain Malcolm is set to join an exclusive club of election fraudsters headed by his political hero Robert Mugabe'

'Hero worship - coun Iain Malcolm is set to join an exclusive club of election fraudsters headed by his political hero Robert Mugabe'

It seems Mr Monkey’s sudden disappearance has resulted in all kinds of speculation as to his whereabouts, with politicians, council officers and bloggers all left wondering what’s happened to this naughty chimp.

Mr Monkey reckons that for the last 7 days the borough’s political elite, senior council officers and Mr Grumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski at the Gazette have been hoping and praying that their nightmare was finally over and that the chimp’s sudden silence finally signalled the end of Mr Monkey’s Blog.

Sorry to disappoint you miserable bastards but nothing could be further from the truth – you’re nightmares are about to get a whole lot worse!

Mr Monkey took some time out to recharge his batteries, follow up a few interesting leads and finalise his investigations into the culture of election fraud in the local Labour party.

It seems that council leader Iain Malcolm has cheated his way to the top and that his unique vision of democracy in action wouldn’t be out of place in Zimbabwe. 

Mr Monkey can now reveal that the results of his month long investigation into election fraud and ballot rigging in South Tyneside will be published tomorrow and he reckons that senior local Labour politicians won’t sleep too well tonight knowing what Mr Monkey is about to publish will expose many of their corrupt and devious practises which have helped keep them power for so long.

If you don’t miss out on these exclusive revelations, keep eye on Mr Monkey Blog over the next day or so.

28
Feb
09

twat of the week

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

"TWAT OF THE WEEK"

Mr Monkey should have known that finding a ‘Twat of The Week’ was always going to be difficult once this picture of David ‘Birdman’ MacLean appeared, CLICK HERE. 

What this chimp didn’t realise was that there would be so many twats worthy of the title.

Contenders for this coveted award are:

  • Karen Allen – for thinking a Tory has a chance of getting elected in South Shields.
  • John Szymanski – for handing over editorial control of the Shields Gazette to his paymaster Iain Malcolm.
  • The King of Sleaze, David Potts – for presenting the Tories budget whilst pissed.
  • ‘Big’ Ed Malcolm – for confirming what the world already knows; he’s a blithering, stuttering idiot with the intelligence of a slug.
  • The Patron Slut of Sailors, aka Audrey McMillan – who this week realised there’s no local election until 2010.
  • Wilma Waggott, aka Linda – for remembering she represets Boldon Colliery and not Bede.
  • Victor ‘is anyone home’ Thompson – for remembering what day of the week full council is held on.
  • Mr Miserable, aka Tom Defty – for confirming what everyone knew, he’s joined the Real Independents because George ‘Red Rum’ Elsom promised to pay for his Christmas cards.
  • Vodka Lil, aka Eileen Leask – for listening to council leader Iain Malcolm who convinced her to resign as a governor of Bamburgh School.

and the winner is .. Big Ed Malcolm.