Archive for the 'Nightclubs' Category

13
May
09

tory councillor David Potts £12,000 expense claims

After yesterday’s pronouncements by the Conservative leader David Cameron concerning the dodgy expense claims of some of his colleagues i.e pay back the money or risk being booted out of the party, Mr Monkey can’t help wondering when councillor David Potts, the local Conservative group leader will join the newly formed  alliance of spineless progressives and the outcasts, who apparently want to be known as The Progressive Party and The Association on non Aligned Independent Councillors?

Regular readers of this blog will remember this post CLICK HERE

"After claiming nearly £12,000 in expenses he still can't afford a pair of sunglasses"

"After claiming nearly £12,000 in expenses he still can't afford a pair of sunglasses"

about councillor Potts record expense claim in 2005 when he claimed more than £2,251 – most of it was spent on First Class rail travel which just happened to be around the same time he claimed he was studying at Cambridge.

Mr Monkey can now reveal that councillor Potts has gone that extra mile in the last 12 months (2008 – 09) and has set another record by claiming a whooping  £3,393 in travel expenses and subsistence.

Interestingly this claim also coincides with the period that councillor Potts had been selected as the Conservative candidate to challenge Alistair Darling in Edinburgh – that is until Mr Monkey put paid to his political ambitions by revealing the sleazy alcohol fuelled antics of councillor Potts.

This chimp reckons that the people of South Tyneside unwittingly paid for his campaign jollies and will be stunned to learn that the council allowed him to get away with it.

Mr Monkey can also reveal that councillor Potts, who is allegedly in opposition has one of the worst attendance records on South Tyneside council,  but he’s still managed to claim nearly £12,000 in travel and subsistence since his election in late 2004.

This chimp reckons it’s time David Cameron turned his attention to some of his colleagues in local government, especially those who are blatantly ripping off the taxpayer with their exaggerated and probably fraudulent expense claims.

.. and Mr Monkey certainly intends to bring councillor Potts dubious expense claims to his attention.

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20
Feb
09

The King of Sleaze – David Potts is back!

"The King of Sleaze is back"

"The King of Sleaze is back"

Seems the double dealing twat, The King of Sleaze, councillor David Potts has surfaced from his sleazy bolt hole long enough to condemn the council’s bi monthly magazine; On View.

Apparently Pudgy Face Potts reckons it’s huge waste of taxpayers money and should be scrapped. Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Tory Boy Potts has a short memory, is just plain stupid or was born a fuckwit.

Mama’s boy seems to have forgotten that he was responsible for setting an all time record for a councillor’s travel expenses. He conned claimed nearly £2500 in first class rail journeys to travel to and from Cambridge where he reckons to have been studying. CLICK HERE and HERE.

He’s renowned for using the fact he’s a councillor to scrounge his way into nightclubs, private parties and events that cost money with his “do you know who I am” con.

Now Mr Monkey learns that he was bought off cheaply is eternally grateful to his sponsor Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm for giving him a place at the trough.

Apparently Miss Piggy gave him the position of Vice Chair of the Select Committee Environment, Housing and Transport and Safer and Stronger Communities which carries with it an annual payment of £7,056.

This chimp has taken a closer look at this committee and can reveal that it’s only met 6 times since May 2008 – that’s equal to £1,176 per meeting.

But as with all things connected to the King of Sleaze, nothing is ever what it seems. Councillor Potts has only attended 3 out of the 6 meetings so his price is £2,352 per meeting.

Now that’s what Mr Monkey calls a waste of money.

15
Feb
09

Monkey Clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to all those South Tyneside councillors who love nothing better than a tart with their pint – and the rougher the better.

10
Feb
09

The Buffon and The Hogg

Bill 'The Buffoon' Brady is set to be replaced by The Hogg

Bill 'The Buffoon' Brady is set to be replaced by The Hogg

Mr Monkey heard an interesting conversation in the members lounge recently about the impending sacking retirement of councillor Bill ‘The Buffoon’ Brady.

Apparently councillors Iain Malcolm and Barry Scorer have been secretly meeting to discuss their make up and things girlie the new cabinet and they’ve decided it’s time to get rid of The Buffoon .

As a sweetener, to protect his income they intend to offer him the chair of one of the lesser committees at this year’s Annual General Meeting, better known as the SWEETIE SHOP. This is when the piglets Labour councillors gather round Miss Piggy’s – aka Iain Malcolm’s – trough to see what scraps the old sow will throw at them.

Mr Monkey has learned that The Buffoon already suspects he’s about to be sacked from the cabinet and has started putting it about that he intends to retire in 2010 and not seek re-election. But like all Labour councillors he cannot leave without having the last word.

The Buffoon is trying to manoeuvre his 19 year old grandson, aptly named David Hogg into the vacant seat to ensure the Brady line continues, despite the fact that he has no political credentials other than being a member of the Westoe Labour party.

That said, he’s already got a reputation for being a piss head and is increasingly seen enjoying free hospitality at the expense of the council tax payer. This year he joined a select band of Labour councillors stuffing their faces and drinking whatever they could get their hands on at the Great North Run hospitality tent. He’s also got a reputation for being a lazy bastard who can’t get up in a morning; probably something to do with the fact that he works in the Atlantic and Vibe nightclubs.

With credentials like these he seems an ideal choice for Iain Malcolm’s sleazy world of local Labour politics.

01
Feb
09

Tyne Twat – The Tale of A Whore

'For Sale - all offers accepted'

'For Sale - all offers accepted'

Ugly Betty started her working life as a pickpocket but quickly turned to prostitution when she realised it was easier to steal a man’s money when his trousers were off than when they were on. Sex was her way of getting closer to a man to pilfer his money, simply a means to an end. She tried her luck at the clubs but was always chucked out for stealing. So she focused on the river, where she had greater access to the seamen and thier goodies.

Once she got into their cabins, she could wreak havoc, stealing whatever she could get her hands on. From their rooms, she would take cigarettes, cash, shoes, watches, clothing – anything she could give away or sell. From the galley, she pilfered meat, cheese, bread, packets of noodles, fruit and alcohol. She preferred the short-stay ships because she could do her business and get away before anyone knew what was taken. By the time they realised they’d been robbed, they would already be out at sea. 

Ugly Betty admitted that, with her attitude, she wasn’t much of a lover. She didn’t give a damn about her clients’ sexual satisfaction; she didn’t even pretend to be interested. Sometimes she’d yawn, look at her watch or even try to take a nap while the man was busy trying to bang her. As he was about to shoot his load, she was only thinking about how she was going to reach down to his pants on the floor and empty his wallet. 

Ugly Betty always took full advantage of opportunities to steal when she was on the ships, but there were lots of other pleasures to enjoy too. Ultimately she didn’t go aboard to steal but to make money through sex and have a party with the sailors. She didn’t want to just get on and off; she wanted to hang out with the men and make herself at home. 

Arthur, a 68 year-old riverside veteran who was always willing to talk in depth to me, said that Ugly Betty used to move from ship to ship for days at a time, sometimes without even bothering to return home. She would live on the boats, party with the seamen at the clubs, then return with them to their cabins where they would sleep together. Usually she tried to pair up with one of the officers who could afford to keep her for days at a time. Sometimes she would even participate in the domestic upkeep of the ship to give the impression she cared, when all the time she was looking for yet more opportunities to rob its crew. 

Such long-term interactions inevitably led to closer relationships and on more than one occasion she fell in love with her client. Once she grew attached to an old Greek captain. He seemed to have felt something for her too, more akin to empathy than lust, and she responded to his selfless concern with total devotion. He promised to send for her to start a new life on a Greek Island but quickly changed his mind when his dick started to swell and he felt a burning sensation every time he went for a piss. 

… more to follow.

31
Jan
09

Good time girl

Mr Monkey has been working on a book about the seedier side of the town’s maritime heritage.

As the book is almost finished and the Ark Royal is in town, Mr Monkey thought now is as good a time as any to share some of his work with you.

Whore of The Tyne explores the hidden world of dockside prostitution in South Shields and focuses on local woman, Ugly Betty, who in the 1960s and 70s frequented the Mill Dam area of the town and was notorious for selling companionship and sex to foreign sailors.

The book shows how the dockside sex trade differs from other sectors of the sex insustry and examines the main character’s solicitation strategies. It also explores the cultural dimensions of dockside relations and reveals a mundane reality far removed from mainstream society.

Beside Ugly Betty, the book also explores the role of club owners, taxi drivers, bouncers, barmaids and some of the more shadier characters who inhabit Ugly Betty’s world. 

By delving deep in to the past and talking to some of the people involved, Mr Monkey allows readers to enter the dockside underworld and engage with the shadowy hustlers of this hidden realm.

Through the eyes of Ugly Betty, readers will be able to look at different elements of “the game,” as she relives her life as a dockside prostitute in the fantasy world she created for sailors from around the world.

Her story ends with her integration back into society and her gradual acceptance by the establishment who were instrumental in burying her seedy past – until now.

24
Jan
09

The Prince Of Sleaze

'Once a prick, always a prick'

'Once a prick, always a prick'

This chimp promised bloggers a picture of the King of Sleaze, aka councillor David Potts when he was nothing but a prince aged about 13. CLICK HERE.

The picture says it all and probably explains why he been such a prick ever since he discovered his own knob. Take a peak at his right hand.

Mr Monkey never realised what a fat bastard he was and now understands why his school mates named him Pudgy Face or was it Lard Arse?