Archive for the 'Patron Slut of Sailors' Category

22
May
09

Labour councillors paid almost half a million pounds

Its Labour’s turn to face Mr Monkey’s how much do they cost the taxpayer test.

When bloggers look at the figures it’s easy to see why so many Labour stalwarts have been around for so long. No wonder they squeal like pigs on the way to the slaughter house when they face the prospect of being dragged away from the trough.

Mr Monkey also reckons that this is why their lives are decimated when the electorate kick them out and why so many of them try and grab someone else’s seat on the council. This is the only way they can get their snouts back in the trough – there’s never been any honour amongst thieves especially when it comes to money.

Here are some of the highlights from The Labour Greed List,

• Coun Iain Malcolm made the highest claim at £32,435 (£623.75 a week)

• Coun Alan Kerr claimed at £23,319 (£448.44 a week)

• Coun Ernest Gibson claimed a record £4,932.27 for travel and subsistence

• Coun Rob Dix treated himself to a new BMW when he was elected. This delivery driver receives an annual boost to his salary from the taxpayer of around £14,000.

• After replacing Paul Waggott as leader of the council, Coun Malcolm promptly put the boot in by not giving Coun Linda Waggott a place at his trough. She was the only Labour councillor not to receive a special responsibility allowance.

Mr Monkey was staggered to learn that almost half a million pounds of taxpayers money was paid to just 31 Labour councillors and for what? Most of them can’t string a sentence together and couldn’t care less about the people they represent, that is until it’s time for their re-election.

The cost of each Labour councillor to the taxpayer in 2008 – 09 was a staggering £15,029.83.

Name

Allowance

Travel

Subsistence

Total

Weekly Cost

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anglin, J

11,760

11,760

226.15

Bell, J

16,464

16,464

316.61

Boyack, P

13,833

691.25

152.33

14,676

282.23

Brady, W  E

16,464

16,464

316.61

Clare, M H

16,464

16,464

316.61

Dix, R

14,112

14,112

271.38

Dixon, T

15,352

1,566.80

315.62

17,234

331.43

Donaldson, A

8,168

129.63

8,297

159.55

Foreman, J

16,464

800.15

214.01

17,478

336.11

Gibson, E

16,186

3,431.90

1,500.37

21,118

406.12

Hanson, T

16,464

16,464

316.61

Kerr, A

22,408

733.47

177.63

23,319

448.44

Leask, E

14,112

14,112

271.38

Lewell, E L

11,760

11,760

226.15

Malcolm, E

16,464

1,253.10

605.91

18,323

352.36

Malcolm, I

31,817

239.00

379.82

32,435

623.75

Maxwell, N E

16,464

228.50

72.94

16,765

322.40

McAtominey, E

12,962

638.40

53.12

13,653

262.56

McCabe, J G

14,112

14,112

271.38

McMillan, A

11,481

11,481

220.78

Meeks, J

14,112

334.60

160.61

14,607

280.90

Perry, J

16,464

16,464

316.61

Piggot, T

11,760

11,760

226.15

Punchion, O

11,760

102.40

11,862

228.11

Scorer, B

14,112

211.20

111.75

14,434

277.57

Sewell, J

16,464

658.75

734.78

17,857

343.40

Spraggon, S

11,203

151.20

11,354

218.34

Stewart, A M

13,833

114.90

88.47

14,036

269.92

Strike, A

11,760

56.00

11,816

227.23

Waggott, L I

7,056

7,056

135.69

Walsh, A

8,486

372.00

15.42

8,873

170.63

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTALS:

450,321*

10,892.37

4,712.41

465,925*

8,973.16

*These figures do not include pence

12
Mar
09

Updated – will ugly betty gets a nose job at the public’s expense?

'Nose job'

'Nose job'

Mr Monkey overheard an interesting conversation recently about The Patron Slut of Sailors, councillor Audrey McMillan and her rehabilitation back into Miss Piggy’s, aka councillor Iain Malcolm’s inner circle.

Councillor McMillan, ‘affectionaltey’ referred to as Ugly Betty by senior Labour councillors was distraught several year’s ago when she lost the chair of the planning committee.

This had nothing to do with the fact she lost her position but had everything to do with money, especially the prospect of losing her special responsibility allowance (£8000) and all the back handers she used to get.

Mr Monkey can also confirm that she was within a whisker of joining councillor Branley’s Indy Alliance – the only thing that put her off was money – she was worried she would not be able to retain her Beacon and Bents seat.

This did not stop her spending hours on the telephone complaining about anything and everyone and telling people how the Labour party was out to get her. She also got a reputation for crying and turning the tears on for effect.

Ugly Betty has never been well liked by her colleagues – females colleagues think she’s a slapper and will shag their husbands at the drop of a hat – just ask Sue Reynolds – male colleagues treat her as an easy fuck – ask Ron Reynolds.

But the ones that despised her the most were her own ward colleagues, Bilbo Baggins, aka councillor John Anglin and Alahbama John, aka John Morris Wood.

This scheming pair and their wives conspired to keep things away from Ugly Betty and worked tirelessly behind the scenes to get her deselected. They even paid Labour party membership fees for people to join the local party out of their own pockets so that they could count on their support when it came to selection meetings. At one stage the local Beacon and Bents Labour party was closed down by Labour North for suspected fraud, corruption and maladministration.

Since Alahbama John’s defeat at the elections in May 2008, Ugly Betty has gradually sleptsquirmed her way back into the in-crowd and has become best friends with councillor Anglin Bilbo Baggins. She’s also been given the chair of the Human Resources Committee which carries a special responsibility allowance.

Apparently Miss Piggy told Ugly Betty that under his regime he’s going to wrestle the power of senior appointments away from Irene Lucas and her minions and put it back in the hands of councillors.

Mr Monkey has now learned that Miss Piggy, aka Ian Malcolm is set to complete her rehabilitation by rewarding Ugly Betty with a place in his new look cabinet in May. Miss Piggy has told his close associates that he sees her as an ideal replacement for Bill ‘the buffoon’ Brady who currently holds the Equality and Diversity portfolio – something to do with reclaiming the Asian vote and reckons Ugly Betty is loved and respected by the Bengali community in Beacon and Bents, apparently that’s what his ex female companion Julie told him.

This chimp reckons that Ugly Betty has already spent the £10,000 and will be finishing off her nose job. Apparently her arse has more meat on it these days now that it doesn’t get as much exercise so the surgeons should be able to get a full nose out of it this time.

03
Mar
09

Green light to shaft council employees

Last month Mr Monkey exclusively revealed that council staff were set to pay for parking CLICK HERE.

It’s now been confirmed that staff who are being transferred to Wouldhave House will have to pay for parking and they’re not happy about the prospect of having to pay for parking like the rest of us because they’ve got away with it for so long.

Angry staff claim they’re worried about car security and the possible negative impact of hundreds of staff trying to find spaces in the town centre, where parking is extremely limited, possibly forcing staff to use public transport while carrying out official duties.

Mr Monkey has no sympathy with any of them and here’s why:

  • the borough’s car parks are amongst the safest in the country – that’s what councillor Clare the lead member with responsibility for car park claims.
  • for years, the car parks have been labelled safe for the rest of us, so why the sudden concern? 
  • car parks are regularly patrolled up until 11pm by the council’s enforcement contractor, Apcoa.
  • what about all the empty spaces at the Customs House, Mill Dam and Mile End Rd car parks. The old Asda car park will also be open to the public.
  • what’s wrong with using public transport, tens of thousands of people across the region rely on it everyday.
  • ever thought of using pool cars for official duties?

Mr Monkey reckons that council staff have come up with some pretty shit excuses when it’s clear that all they’re really bothered about is the cost.

Perhaps staff should use some of the savings from thier new BT broadband package to pay for thier parking. Apparently council staff transferring to BT will get broadband for just £1 a month.

Mr Monkey would like to leave the last word to the Patron Slut of Sailors who said, “”I’m absolutely mystified as to where these council workers are going to park”.

Perhaps she and her stupid colleagues in the Labour party should have thought about this before signing on the dotted line and giving BT the green light to shaft council employees.