Archive for the 'Photography' Category


another photo opportunity for Miss Piggy

Seems council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy is using the publicly funded council press propaganda office to further his political ambitions by staging another photo opportunity with children. CLICK HERE.

 Anyone who knows Miss Piggy will confirm that there’s more chance of the pope fathering a child than there is of Miss Piggy shagging a woman. They’ll also tell you how uncomfortable he is when he’s around children – but hey, he’s able to conquer his fear of children if it means he’ll get some media exposure.

A while back a leading charity accused politicians of “cynically misusing” children in their campaigns. The NSPCC said they were “appalled to see children being used as props or being pointedly vilified in an attempt to win votes” and cited the use of children in pre-arranged photo opportunities.


Mr Monkey reckons politicians should be campaigning for children rather than using them for electioneering purposes. Children are citizens who deserve action – in the areas of health, tax, the economy, law and order and transport, as well as education and social policy.


Might it be even more cynical of this chimp to suggest that politicians “cynically misuse” anyone and everyone if it suits them? 


Sub Editors Jobs To Go

It seems the owners of the Shields Gazette,  Johnston Press are continuing to push through thier controversial centralisation agenda in an effort to drive down costs and reduce the number of staff employed on individual titles.

This time Johnston Press is targeting sub-editing and picture desk management at its North West titles – with the potential loss of 12 jobs.

The North West is the third area, after the Midlands and Northern Ireland, where Johnston Press has announced centralisation. Staff were told last Thursday, and meetings were ongoing on Friday. The plans – subject to consultation – would see sub-editing at Chorley, Garstang, Burnley and Wigan moving to Preston, home of the Lancashire Evening Post, with the loss of four jobs.

Sub-editing in Lancaster and Morecambe would move to Blackpool, with six jobs lost but three created, giving a net loss of three.

Five picture desk editors from the region would have to apply for two jobs in Preston, and two photographer roles would also go, bringing the total job losses to 12. Titles affected would include the Burnley Express, the Chorley Guardian, and Morecambe’s The Visitor.

Johnston Press has recently announced centralisation in the Midlands, with 49 potential job losses, and Northern Ireland, with 11 job losses. In the Midlands, the National Union of Journalists is proposing an alternative restructuring. In Northern Ireland, staff at the Derry Journal have balloted for strike action.

When the centralising plans were announced, Johnston Press’s chief operating officer Danny Cammiade said, “Johnston Press is a newspaper group that bases itself on its localness.”

Unfortunately this will come as no comfort to the sub editors at the Gazette who are likely to lose their jobs when the centralisation programme reaches the North East later this year and perhaps now’s the time to look elsewhere.

Mr Monkey has heard that STCentral TV, South Tyneside’s rapidly growing internet TV channel is expanding it’s news operation and is currently recruiting experienced journalists, especially those with knowledge of sub editing – so what are you waiting for?


Monkey Suspect Caught On Camera

Seems that Mr Monkey may have been caught on camera, but which one?

Has the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at Curly’s Corner Shop aka the Shire inadvertently caught Mr Monkey in his lens or has the chimp been caught fooling around on one of the many CCTV cameras lurking around the borough?

Mr Monkey will reveal all shortly.


Bus Lane Blunder

Hot on the heels of the loading bay fuck up which resulted in the suspension of penalty charge notices being issued for vehicles illegally parked on loading bays, Mr Monkey has now learned that someone in the parking team is either colour blind or just couldn’t be bothered to check the small print.

Earlier this year the council’s agreed to introduce new measures to stop people using bus lanes – apparently to improve safety and keep vehicles moving – no, nothing to do with robbing the motorist blind.

These measure included taking photographs and recording the offenders on CCTV. This will be done by covert cameras installed on traffic lights, street lighting and CCTV columns. But the council also planned to introduce a secret weapon – a vehicle with a hidden camera.

Enforcement staff have been trained and the vehicle was delivered in time for the October launch but there was one minor problem – it was the wrong colour!

Apparently the vehicle that was delivered was black and was deemed unsuitable  too distinctive to be able to trap motorists effectively.

Somebody in the town hall decided that the vehicle should be white as this would blend in with the borough’s other white vehicles and would be less visible make more money.

Apparently the vehicle was duly dispatched for a respray and will be operational in the new year.

That’s assuming all the bus lanes are legally enforceable but more of this later.


Fat Twat In A Santa Suit

Miss Piggy, councillor Iain Malcolm seems to have cum out of the closet (no not that one) and is sniffing round the Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire corner shop.

After posting comments under all sorts of names over the past couple of years it seems Miss Piggy has cum out into the open and has turned on his feminine charm. Apparently the arse fiddler sees Mr Hobbit aka Curly as his next conquest.

He’s already charmed the pants socks off the Burton’s dummy over at the Gazette and all it took was a few sausage rolls and an invite to join the in crowd. In return Papa John Szymanski does everything Miss Piggy demands of him. Councillor Iain Malcolm reckons every newspaper editor should be as obedient as Papa John – his life would be so much easier.

Mr Monkey reckons The Fat Mackem Hobbit over at the Shire will demand a higher price than Papa John – at least 6 sausage rolls. But imagine what the Hobbit would do for a complementary press pass which would allow him to photograph anything he wants?

Just keep your eye out for a little fat twat in a Santa suit loitering around panto venues – it could be the Hobbit.