Archive for the 'Political Donations' Category

28
Apr
09

Iain Malcolm – a man of principle

The borough’s other blogger seems to have ejaculated all over his computer screen at the prospect of South Tyneside’s council leader Iain Malcolm jumping into bed with the Conservatives at their spring conference in Cheltenham.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but those close to this devious twat will know what an opportunistic bastard he is and that he’ll stop at nothing to keep his corrupt hands on the reigns of power, even snuggling up to a Tory or two.

Apparently he was in Cheltenham on behalf of Sovereign Strategy the political lobbying company that he runs and is a shareholder in and despite the shouts of ecstasy from certain quarters, Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether this “consummate politician” has seen the writing on the wall and has joined the increasing number of Labour politicians who have thrown the towel in – it’s only a matter of time before they return to the political wilderness and warm there arses on the opposition benches.

This chimp reckons his arse fondling licking at the Tory conference had nothing to do with South Tyneside and everything to do with making sure he’s on the right side when it comes to lobbying those with clout .. and Gordon hasn’t got much of that left.

09
Mar
09

gazette watch

Bloggers will have noticed that the local snooze paper has become the official voice of the borough’s Labour run council and that it’s editor Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski has handed over editorial control to his paymaster council leader Iain Malcolm.

This has been a gradual process and at first Papa John paid lip service to his profession by at least appearing to be reporting things from a neutral perspective and even appeared to occasionally challenge the shit churned out by the Minister of Propaganda, Linda Fothergill, aka the council’s Head of Communications.

Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm, quickly realised how easy it was to manipulate Mr Dumpy – all he had to do was make him feel loved, invite him to council functions and make sure the fat bastard could stuff his face with free sausagee rolls – and the Gazette was his to control.

But over the last month Mr Monkey has noticed that Papa John Szymanski appears to have handed over editorial control to the local Labour party and they in turn seem to publish whatever they want with little or no involvement from the paper’s journalists, especially the so called council reporter Paul Myles Kelly.

Mr Monkey thought he’d test this theory by comparing the council’s latest press release about a possible reduction in council rents with Paul Myles Kelly’s article. CLICK HERE.

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

This chimp was astounded by the results and proves beyond doubt that Papa John Szymanski is nothing more than Miss Piggy’s plaything and that the Gazette is just another propaganda tool for the local Labour run council.

Judge for yourself – below is the press release issued by the council

COUNCIL RECONSIDERS RENTS FOLLOWING GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Council tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council has already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the Council is now reconsidering that figure following today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175 million to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The Council’s Lead Member Resources, Councillor Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government. Both the Council and the Board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time, and we have been pressing the Government to rethink its position. We are delighted that the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for Council tenants. I have instructed officers to assess the revised position following this afternoon’s announcement with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that Council tenants can benefit. We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”

The Council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy. This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As Council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full Council.

Now compare this to the article below that appeared in the The Labour Gazetteer, formerly known as the Shields Gazette. The differences between the 2 articles have been highlighted in red and amount to a change of title, the addition of 8 words and the removal of 2 others.

TENANTS IN LINE FOR RENT CUTS

COUNCIL house tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a major reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council had already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the council is now reconsidering that figure after today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175m to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The council’s lead member for resources, Coun Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government.

“Both the council and the board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time.

“We have been pressing the Government to rethink its position, and we are delighted the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for council tenants.

“I have instructed officers to assess the revised position after this announcement, with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that council tenants can benefit.

“We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”
 
The council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy.
 
This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full council, at a meeting on March 26.
Well done Paul Myles Kelly, another worthwhile piece of investigative journalism worthy of your profession the Gazette.
07
Mar
09

Twat of the week

'Mr Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

TWAT OF THE WEEK 'Miss Piggy' aka councillor Iain Malcolm

There can only be one winner this week following his fuckwit comments made at another Labour party council bash in the town hall.

Mr Monkey can reveal that the Labour party had another do in the town hall last Friday at the taxpayers expense and all the usual scroungers were in attendance including Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm and his lackey Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski editor of the Gazette.

Bloggers stupid enough to waste 42p on the local snooze paper can’t have failed to have noticed that editorial control has been handed over to the local Labour party their minister of propaganda Linda Fothergill.

Mr Monkey can confirm that the takeover has finally been completed at a ceremony last Friday when Papa John sat at the top table and was given a plate of his favourite sausage rolls as a reward for all his dedication and hard work on behalf of the party.

Before formally accepting the keys to the Papa John’s office, Miss Piggy acknowledged Mr Dumpy’s achievements and praised him for his outstanding and unbiased reporting and told the assembled crowd of scroungers that it was with some regret that he had decided to change the name of the Shields Gazette to The Labour Gazetteer.

Cum on Miss Piggy if you are that desperate to feel his Papa John’s arse you should have just asked him, there was no need to lick it.

Yes you’ve guessed it – The Twat Of The Week is council leader Iain Malcolm affectionately known as Miss Piggy.

13
Feb
09

Miliband Set To Cheat on Colmans

South Shields stay away MP David Miliband the self confessed potato head whose renowned for his love of chips is widely believed to be planning a surprise visit to Westerhope this weekend to taste the best chips in the North East.

Readers of this blog will know that ‘Chips’ Miliband has a cosy relationship with Colmans fish and chip shop on Ocean Road. Apparently it’s down to the batter and has nothing to do with the owner, Richard Ord’s generosity towards the local Labour party.

"and the chips ain't bad too"

"and the chips ain't bad too"

It seems that Mr Miliband’s love of chips has got the better of him and he’s planning a sneaky trip to Gormans @ Westerhope – sorry David but your secret is out. 

This family-run fish and chip shop on Redburn industrial estate, Westerhope, Newcastle, beat thousands of contenders to win an award for the standard of its chips and has been named the North East’s Perfect Portion winner during National Chip Week.

Unlike Colmans recent award, where Richard Ord had to charm a panel of judges, Gormans award was based on what the public think.

With praise like this it’s no wonder ‘Chips’ Miliband has been tempted to cheat on Colmans.

24
Jan
09

Amateur Snappers Left Disappointed

Protest ... an anti-war campaigner.It seems on or two of the borough’s amateur snappers were left disappointed last night when nothing more sinister than a few sarcastic comments were hurled in the direction of the Labour party’s war-mongers who were attending a fund raising dinner at South Tyneside College.

 The £15 a head bash was to raise funds for the local Labour party and was attended by South Shields MP and Foot in Mouth Foreign Secretary David Miliband and fellow cabinet member John Hutton, the Defence Secretary.

Guests were met by an orderly but boisterous crowd of around 70 Anti War protesters who had gathered to protest about the recent conflict in Gaza.

Despite fevered speculation in certain quarters that the whole thing was being orchestrated by Indy councillor Ahmed Khan, it must have come as a disappointment to some to find that there was no sign him.

Apparently certain individuals were convinced that they were on to an ‘excluisve’ and that they would capture councillor Khan on camera leading hordes of Muslim protesters –  including children – up Dean Road to the college, no doubt damaging property, vehicles and hurling anti semitic abuse as they went.

Imagine these poor bastards disappointment when the only councillors that crossed their lenses were Labour and that the vast majority of the well behaved crowd were white, many of whom according to reports looked  “affluent”.

To add insult to injury there was hardly a Muslim in sight, let alone a child. Mr Monkey reckons councillor Khan may have had the last laugh as he watched from afar.

10
Dec
08

A Pig With 5 Chins!

"I'd love to get my chins round this ball"

"I'd love to get my chins round this ball"

It looks as though council leader Miss Piggy, aka Iain Malcolm has been so busy wanking playing the boss that he’s forgotten one of the basic rules of media manipulation .. don’t say something that might come back and bite you in the arse. Although in his case the dirty bastard might enjoy it!

Mr Monkey nearly choked on his bananas when he read this piece of shit about new changing facilities for the football pitches on the Dragon, CLICK HERE. 

According to councillor Malcolm, the development,

 “is the beginning of a major transformation of our Foreshore” 

but it’s this bit that almost choked Mr Monkey,

“and will also boost our efforts to increase participation in sport and exercise”.

This is from the same fuckwit that wanted to build a super casino on Gypsies Green Stadium and when that failed he decided to build a hotel and conference centre on it.

Mr Monkey is confused because the last time he looked, Gypsies Green Stadium was being used for sport and exercise which we now learn Miss Piggy is keen to push, at least that’s what his paper says.

So is councillor Malcolm a liar or did he open his fat gob without thinking about the consequences?

Seems the twat forgot where he was for a minute and looks to have scored an own goal of mega proportions. Mr Monkey reckons this slip of his tongue will cost him dear in 2011 when he’s likely to be voted out of office for remarks like this.

Mr Monkey will leave readers with this thought – take a close look at the picture of councillor Iain Malcolm, especially the triple chins – he’d do well to heed his own advice and get some exercise before his colleagues start calling him ‘Piggy Five Chins’.

29
Nov
08

Miliband’s Chippy Wins Award

Colmans chippy on Ocean Road are today celebrating being crowned UK’s Local Food Hero.

Judges and celebrity chefs Gary Rhodes, Allegra McEvedy and Mark Hicks voted Colmans’ seafood platter No 1.

They beat off stiff competition from 10 finalists from around the country to take the title on Gary Rhodes’ Local Food Heroes show on UKTV Food last night. They also scooped £40,000 in prize money.

Well done Mr Ord and all the staff at Colmans on winning the award.

The owner of Colmans, Richard Ord claims he will use the £40,000 price money to install state of the art fryers to reduce the company’s carbon footprint. Lets hope he’s as good as his word and doesn’t fund another Labour party bash.

Mr Monkey would remind bloggers that there are two other fish and chip shops on Ocean Road; the Smithy and Mr Monkey’s personal favourite The Red Hut. Both offer quality produce at sensible prices and you can be sure the proceeds aren’t being used to fund the local Labour party.

01
Nov
08

Monkey Clip

It’s been a tough week for council leader Iain Malcolm.

Since news of the multi-million pound pay off to 2 former friends colleagues at Newcastle Airport broke, his role in this murky affair has come under close media scrutiny.

In addition to sitting on the main Newcastle Airport Board, councillor Iain Malcolm sat on the remuneration panel which approved the £8.5 million payout to 2 fellow board members; the former Chief Executive and Director of Finance.

This week a number of other councils who own shares in Newcastle Airport and whose members appointed Iain Malcolm to the main airport board have called for a full public investigation, councillor Malcolm’s resignation and for South Tyneside Council to be stripped of it’s lead authority role.

In a gesture of sympathy, Mr Monkey has decided to dedicate this week’s Monkey Clip to the embattled leader of South Tyneside Council, councillor Iain Malcolm.  

Although his airport problem won’t go away at least he’ll be able to console himself by having a wank relaxing whilst he watches this hunk in action.

CLICK HERE and keep the tissues handy!

09
Oct
08

Cheap Trick By Miliband

Mr Monkey agrees with Curly over at the Corner shop and the author of yesterday’s letter in the Gazette criticising Foreign Secretary and South Shields MP David Miliband for publicly cashing on the misfortune of the Mayor CLICK HERE.

There is no denying that whoever nicked the Mayor’s charity collection is scum of the worst kind and deserves everything coming to him, but to use this as an excuse for a bit of cheap publicity is nearly as bad and has left Mr Monkey wondering what lengths Mr Miliband is prepared to go to to keep in the public eye.

Mr Monkey appreciates that things have been hard for David since he opened his mouth and tried stabbing his boss in the back, but even Mr Teflon has got to agree he got this one badly wrong.

On his salary and perks surely a couple of thousand pounds would have been a more sincere gesture, instead he thought he’d get away with handing over a miserable £50 .. in full glare of the media of course.

Now that’s what Mr Monkey calls sincerity!

02
Oct
08

9.30pm Update: Gazette Embroiled in Freebie Scandal

The news that Papa John Szymanski is kissing arse at the town hall tomorrow night is everywhere now and is definately true. Four people have confirmed it.

As broken by the Monkey earlier, Leader of the Council Iain Malcolm the Mayor is holding an all expenses paid reception for the Gazette in the Town Hall on Friday evening with all the local Labour party councillors. Papa John has also been informed that the chairman of the South Shields Labour Party Alan Donnelly, may also make an appearance. Just keep Ernie Gibson away from the bar!

Those who’ve came into contact with Papa John over the years will tell you he has been desperate to worm his way in to the in crowd and would have done almost anything including compromising his journalistic integrity for a few free lunches and tickets to some of the borough’s exclusive functions. This is the moment he has been waiting for.

Mr Monkey can’t help wondering whether Papa John suffers from a personality disorder, or worse still, has a chip on his shoulder for not being accepted by the establishment. Either way Papa John’s low self esteem and the need to feel loved by Iain Malcolm probably explains the gradual demise of the Gazette as the premier source of news in South Tyneside.

Mr Monkey reckons that at the current rate of decline in the paper’s circulation, the Gazette’s days are numbered and he predicts that within 12 months Mr Monkey’s Blog and Curly’s Corner Shop will become the peoples choice when it comes to local news.

Whatever way you look at it, it’s clear Papa John will be at the front of the queue when it comes to licking arse paying homage to to Iain and his cronies; at the publics’ expense of course.

Mr Monkey can’t wait to see who turns up and wonders whether the Gazette will report this blatant misuse of ratepayers money which is clearly being used to buy the Gazette’s Papa John’s loyalty.

If only Mr Monkey had realised how cheaply Papa John could be bought, he would have laid on some sausage rolls and a few chicken drumsticks months ago.




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