Archive for the 'Politics' Category


Potts Unravelled

Mr Monkey received a very interesting comment sometime ago and was keeping it for a day like today. A day when journos form around the country will be sniffing around South Tyneside looking to dish the dirt on former wannabee MP, Tory Boy David Potts. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, so here’s some more ammunition folks!


Sorry about the anon but I have had bad experiences in the past with writers keeping their sources secret. I might be able to help you with your crusade against the lying shit that is David Potts. I never used to mind the lad as he is polite and friendly but I’ve recently become horrified at his total lack of morals and the fact he lies as much as he drinks, god help us if he ever gets in a position of power. Anyway, I was directed here by a friend and thought I’d make a few comments.

Remember his record breaking travel expense claim for travelling to and from Cambridge University where he claimed to be studying law, well the truth is:

His record breaking claim of £2251.90 for the period April 2005 to March 2006, was largely due to the fact that he screwed the system and was claiming first class rail travel to and from Cambridge because he was  WORKING IN LADBROOKES.

David never attended the University but claimed his first class travel to work in a bookies in King Street next to Christ’s College. God knows how he has managed to keep this quiet so long. I think his original claim was that he studied Optometry at King’s College and this was later changed to Law when he was informed that the university doesn’t offer that tripos (ask him what that last word means, any student of the university will be able to define it and spout all sorts of urban myths regarding it). I wonder if copies of the Gazette from the time of Pott’s original election to Councilor which have this claim are available on public record? This should be enough for you to at least get others to question this long claim of his. As you don’t seem to mind posting very libellous and quite possibly truthful comments about Mr Potts I may as well give you some more ammunition to make sure he never gets his corrupt authoritarian mitts on any more power.

1) A drink driving charge when he was aged 18/19. I believe this was before he even had a licence so probably add in driving while uninsured and without a licence to that. This could be unsubstantiated and comes from stories doing the rounds in West Boldon pubs about 6 years ago.

2) A charge of fraud for selling internet space that did not belong to him. This is more here-say that the above story but still interesting.

3) Being caught in a compromising position with a Red Lion regular’s wife, He was originally spotted with his tongue down her throat in the pub before she was promptly dragged off by a mutual friend of their’s. This happened in the last few months.

4) He has a VERY big friend/hired bully who he uses to get his dirty work done and intimidate anyone who says bad things about him. This man-monster drinks with him in the Red Lion and has recently caused some locals to leave by threatening their teeth if they dare speak ill of his paymaster again.

A good way to get some dirt is to watch him at his office (The Red Lion) every day at around 11.30am – 4pm and again at 6pm – 10.30pm or even have a word with the staff there, they REALLY love him. If you want to contact me, leave a post on your blog saying as much and I’ll sort out a go-between e-mail address.

Be aware he is extremely angry at this blog which pretty much means you are onto something


King of Sleaze – Tory Boy Potts Resigns!

Habitual liar, Councillor David Potts, appears to have lost the plot following his deselection as the Conservative candidate to take on Chancellor Alastair Darling in his Edinburgh South West seat. CLICK HERE for details.

A member of Potts former local Conservative Association confirmed that the executive had passed a vote of no confidence in him and that they had asked Central Office for permission to remove him as they had no confidence in him any more.

The Association member also confirmed that Potts “seemed to be in denial that this is happening. He doesn’t seem to accept it, but he will go.”

It now appears that after a day of heavy drinking a pissed Potts appears to have dreamt up a bizarre story to explain his sudden fall from grace. Apparently everything is rosy in Scotland he but out of the blue he’s suddenly resigned, CLICK HERE for details. He’s even had the balls to blame his father’s ill health which until now no one knew anything about.

How convenient, or was it merely a coincidence that Pudgy Face Potts resigned late last night after two Scottish papers carried stories about his deselection and after he’d knocked back around a dozen triple gins!

Cum on Potts, do you really expect people to believe your bullshit?

Mr Monkey reckons that this latest ruse will fool no one and believes Potts was sacked ousted after being exposed by Mr Monkey’s Blog as a womanising, lying, alcoholic with very few scruples, who had a piss poor political pedigree and for regularly demonstrating his poor politcial judgement, especially when it came to his unflinching support of the local Labour party.

In case you’ve forgotten Tory Boy Potts, the people of Cleadon and East Boldon elected you to oppose Labour not jump in to bed with them. It seems that the canny Scots have realised what a politicalwhore you really are and to their credit they’ve done something about it before you embarrass them any further!

Mr Monkey hopes that the South Tyneside Conservative Association follows suit and rids itself of the slime ball that is Potts. At least then he’ll have a real reason to eat Malcolm’s shit join the Labour benches!


Tory Boy Potts Gets The Boot

The King of Sleaze - did he fall or was he thumped by an irrate husband?

The King of Sleaze - did he fall or was he thumped by an irrate husband?

Less than a year after Tory Boy Potts opposed a motion of no confidence in the then Labour Leader of South Tyneside Council, Paul Waggott, the King of Sleaze has found himself at the centre of another motion of no confidence. 

This time his fellow Tories have turned the tables on Pudgy Face by unanimously approving a motion of no confidence in closet socialist, David Potts.
Tory Boy was due to take on Chancellor Alistair Darling at the next general election is now on the verge of being deselected by the local party. Conservative activists in Edinburgh South-West have written to Scottish Conservative headquarters asking for him to be removed as their candidate.

Mr Darling had a majority of 7242 at the last election, but with Labour’s opinion poll rating collapsing, local Tories believe their chances of taking the seat have improved and complained Mr Potts was not spending enough time in the constituency to mount an effective campaign.

Inez Paisley, chairwoman of the Edinburgh South-West Conservative Association, declined to comment on the deselection move. But one association member said Mr Potts had not been up to Edinburgh as often as he should have been and there had been “virtually no campaigning at all”.

The member said: 

“He never attends any functions or meetings of the executive. The executive of the association unanimously decided to send a letter to Central Office, asking for him to be removed as candidate as they had no confidence in him any more. They are just waiting to hear back if they can go ahead with it. He seems to be in denial that this is happening. He doesn’t seem to accept it, but he will go.”

Potts claims to have been a Tory activist since he was 14, was elected as a councillor in 2004. He is currently the self appointed leader of Tory group which is made up of just 3 councillors including Potts.

He was selected to fight Edinburgh South-West last year, but his name has now been removed from the association’s website.

Mr Potts claimed he was “entirely unaware” of any move to deselect him. “I don’t know what you are talking about,” he said. “As far as I’m concerned, I have a very healthy relationship with them” – bullshit! 

But then most people in South Tyneside know what an unreliable, self opinionated, arrogant lying hypocrite he is and Mr Monkey is delighted that the Scottish Tories have found out just in time.
Mr Monkey reckons that his unflinching support for the Labour party in return for financial gain, his womanising ways, alcohol problem (he loves knocking back triple gins for breakfast, usually in the Red Lion) and his fabricated background, all of which have been exposed on Mr Monkey’s Blog, have put an end to any political ambitions he had.
All that remains, is for Tory Councillors Wood and Milburn to deselect their ‘leader’ and for the people of Cleadon and East Boldon to oust this scum bag before he brings shame on this quiet corner of South Tyneside.

Would You Like To Shit on Maggie?

All that bullshit about whether or not Thacher should be ‘honoured’ by a state funeral when she eventually pops her clogs has got Mr Monkey thinking about where her final resting place might be .. other than hell of course!

Mr Monkey reckons that the old cow could do worse than being buried at the bottom of a coal shaft although rumour has it that she’s now thinking about being cremated. Consett has been mentioned, although their aren’t any furnaces anymore (she saw to that) they reckon the locals have already made plans for the mother of all bonfires. There’s even talk of thousands of street parties up and down the country to celebrate her death.

If all else fails I suppose she could be buried under a toilet, at least that way we can all get to shit on her .. think of it as returning the favour after all she spawned NuLabour and gave us Tory Boy Potts!


Miliband Loves A Good Curry!

Seems David Miliband taste for the high-life knows no bounds. Hot on the heels of this weekends revelations that he’d like to rename the Queen’s Flight ‘Miliband Airways’, CLICK HERE, Mr Monkey can now also reveal that he and his Cabinet colleagues love a good curry, but not just any curry.

Apparently Ocean Road curries are not a patch on the stuff that David is used to and he is believed to have persuaded his Cabinet colleagues to try his favourite dish, a balti and David knows just the place.

On the strength of David first hand knowledge, Gordon Brown has decided to hold Tuesday’s cabinet meeting in Birmingham, the home of the British balti and coincidentally a place with a massive Asian population.

This is the first time a Cabinet meeting has not been held in London or at Chequers since 1921 when David Lloyd George gathered ministers in Inverness to discuss Ireland’s renunciation of the British monarchy at a time when he was was holidaying in the Highlands.

David’s bother and fellow Cabinet Office minister Ed Miliband denied suggestions the move was so that they could get a free curry and try to win favour with the country’s Asian population who have deserted the Labour party in their droves since the Milibands former boss, Tony Blair, invaded Iraq and Afghanistan a political stunt, saying it showed the government was focused on listening to people’s priorities.

“I don’t see it as a cheap gimmick,” he told BBC Radio 4’s Today Programme. I think it is the right thing to do. I think it is important for government not to spend all of its time in London.”

So why has it taken 87 years to realise it then? Surely nothing to do with the prospect of political annihilation at the next General Election!

Mr Monkey wonders what’s next on Miliband’s I’m on your side Asian vote winning menu, a visit to Ocean Road perhaps to learn how to cook a curry. Hasn’t he already tried that one?


Greens Corrupted By Having A Leader

Local Green Party activists have spent the weekend crying into their organic peppermint tea following the radical decision by it’s members to elect a leader like other parties!

So after years of having one male and one female principal speaker, they have finally decided to take the radical step of electing a single leader.

However, everything is far from rosy in the commune with some prominent hippies members believing the party will lose it’s weirdo appeal fail to maintain it’s ‘refreshing distinctivness’ image and should not have been “sucked in” to having a figurehead like other parties who many people believe are increasingley seen as bunches of liars, hypocrites and suits on the make.

The controversial decision to elect a leader was taken around 12 months ago and this is what former male Principle Speaker, Derek Wall had to say on the subject: 

“I do think being called a leader has the potential to corrupt. I have no easy answers, I won’t tell you any comforting lies but I know my history and I can recognise a trap however well disguised. Virtually every radical movement in history has been sucked in and domesticated. Socialism led to Stalin and Tony Blair. The Romans deposed their kings, built a republic and replaced it with empire. Jesus preached humility but under Constantine was used to christen an autocracy. The history of struggle is one of repetition, with radicals bought off, killed off or brain washed into submission. John Prescott used to be a union man; Gordon Brown used to be socialist. Politics can be like a gerbil cage. You go up and up and up to the top slot but with compromises to get their you crash back like the fallen radicals. Green politics cannot fail – we have a world to save. If we win power but at the cost of our ideals, that really would be a catastrophe.”

Just imagine if they had to make a realy important decision like should they or shouldn’t they wipe their arse when they shit. After all the environmental impact of Andrex could be catastrophic for the world!


Is David Miliband Smug and Arrogant?

The leader of Britain’s biggest union has launched a venomous personal attack on South Shields MP and Foreign Secretary David Miliband.

On the eve of the Trades Union Congress, Derek Simpson, joint general secretary of Unite, the union with the biggest group of Labour MPs at Westminster, accused Miliband, in a stream of swearwords, of being ‘smug’ and ‘arrogant’.

In terms that caused fury on the right of the party, he also said Miliband would take the country back to the ‘failings of Blairism’ and could be a worse choice as Prime Minister than the Tory leader David Cameron. ‘We might as well elect Cameron. We might be better off with Cameron,’ he said. ‘

‘Why should we elect a young fresh face when we have already got one in Cameron with policies that are not dissimilar?’

Simpson’s officials, who sat in on the interview, immediately ordered that swearwords used to describe Miliband be taken ‘off the record’. However, they confirmed that the robust anti-Miliband assault had been deliberate and should stand. Simpson said Gordon Brown should tell those who back Miliband’s leadership ambitions, including Charles Clarke, who argued last week that Brown should consider stepping down ‘with honour’, to ‘sod off’.

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