Archive for the 'Press Release' Category

17
Mar
09

another photo opportunity for Miss Piggy

Seems council leader Iain Malcolm, aka Miss Piggy is using the publicly funded council press propaganda office to further his political ambitions by staging another photo opportunity with children. CLICK HERE.

 Anyone who knows Miss Piggy will confirm that there’s more chance of the pope fathering a child than there is of Miss Piggy shagging a woman. They’ll also tell you how uncomfortable he is when he’s around children – but hey, he’s able to conquer his fear of children if it means he’ll get some media exposure.

A while back a leading charity accused politicians of “cynically misusing” children in their campaigns. The NSPCC said they were “appalled to see children being used as props or being pointedly vilified in an attempt to win votes” and cited the use of children in pre-arranged photo opportunities.

 

Mr Monkey reckons politicians should be campaigning for children rather than using them for electioneering purposes. Children are citizens who deserve action – in the areas of health, tax, the economy, law and order and transport, as well as education and social policy.

 

Might it be even more cynical of this chimp to suggest that politicians “cynically misuse” anyone and everyone if it suits them? 

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16
Mar
09

trouble at Jarrow school

Seems there’s a rabbit away at Jarrow School.

Apparently South Tyneside council’s education department , the headmaster and the school’s governors are covering up some of the school’s failings who with the help of the council’s propaganda office are telling parents via the Shields Gazette Labour Gazetteer what a wonderful and high achieving establishment Jarrow School is.

The reality is that the Jarrow School is seriously failing many pupils year on year since the present inexperienced Head took over in 2005.

The most important GCSEs for Maths and English have dropped to 23% this year, yet the Lead member for Education, Jim ‘on the buses’ Foreman congratulated the school in the local snooze papaer for improving results!

What they did’nt mention was that the GCSEs which have improved are of no serious value and include ones such as cookery and silly subjects which the children CANNOT FAIL

The Council is allowing this incompetent Head to hide behind these results instead of taking action for the severe decline in the important GCSEs.

A quick look at OFSTED’s website will confirm that the current Head’s previous School, Congleton High School in Cheshire received a terrible report 18 months before he got the job at Jarrow School, bearing in mind Jarrow School was in a very poor state at the time the Council were duty bound to check this persons previous experience and Headships they clearly did not and panicked to appoint somebody much to the detriment of the pupils for the past 4 years.

The Headmaster loves appearing in the local snooze paper and was recently bragging that he had been invited to London by the SSAT (Specialist Schools and academies Trust ) for his GCSE results, it was hypocritical of him to have the neck to turn up at this event given the school’s true achievements.

10
Mar
09

ticking boxes gets council 4 stars

Last week the Audit Commission, the people who monitor councils, announced the results of the latest Comprehensive Performance Assessment (CPA) of Local Authorities and awarded South Tyneside Council 4-stars council, which means that the council has been judged “Excellent.”

But, alas, CPA is not the panacea which Miss Piggy and the Dominatrix are claiming. In fact, CPA is being abolished at the end of this month, to be replaced by something better. Being graded “Excellent” in a flawed process is better than being graded “Poor.” But the process is flawed, and the the Labour council shouldn’t get carried away.

As the title suggests, Comprehensive Performance Assessment is a comprehensive way of assessing services. But the way that it does so is very much to do with performance statistics, which can mean the targeting of resources to meet targets and tick boxes rather than to respond to what resdients on the street actually want. It’s a flaw which has long been evident yet never been properly corrected.

This is evident in South Tyneside where, for instance, Neighbourhood Services score very highly. The department’s staff do their job well and do indeed hit their targets. But whilst the Audit Commission might judge that there’s success, Mr Monkey wonders if they’d have the same view if they actually lived in the borough and had to deal with litter un-swept, graffiti un-cleaned, and roads un-repaired? Mr Monkey doubt’s it.

These problems aren’t to do with bad staff, there to do with mis-directed money and the result of local people being ignored – CPA doesn’t have anything to say about that.

CPA has always lacked enough emphasis on service user satisfaction, relaying on tightly-worded tri-annual surveys rather than mystery shopping or the experience of councillors. The process has also been far too heavily weighted to national priorities at the expense of local ones, and has put adherence to government wish lists ahead of proper local scrutiny.

09
Mar
09

gazette watch

Bloggers will have noticed that the local snooze paper has become the official voice of the borough’s Labour run council and that it’s editor Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski has handed over editorial control to his paymaster council leader Iain Malcolm.

This has been a gradual process and at first Papa John paid lip service to his profession by at least appearing to be reporting things from a neutral perspective and even appeared to occasionally challenge the shit churned out by the Minister of Propaganda, Linda Fothergill, aka the council’s Head of Communications.

Miss Piggy, aka councillor Iain Malcolm, quickly realised how easy it was to manipulate Mr Dumpy – all he had to do was make him feel loved, invite him to council functions and make sure the fat bastard could stuff his face with free sausagee rolls – and the Gazette was his to control.

But over the last month Mr Monkey has noticed that Papa John Szymanski appears to have handed over editorial control to the local Labour party and they in turn seem to publish whatever they want with little or no involvement from the paper’s journalists, especially the so called council reporter Paul Myles Kelly.

Mr Monkey thought he’d test this theory by comparing the council’s latest press release about a possible reduction in council rents with Paul Myles Kelly’s article. CLICK HERE.

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

Housing Minister set to give away £175 million but Ed Malcolm wants the credit'

This chimp was astounded by the results and proves beyond doubt that Papa John Szymanski is nothing more than Miss Piggy’s plaything and that the Gazette is just another propaganda tool for the local Labour run council.

Judge for yourself – below is the press release issued by the council

COUNCIL RECONSIDERS RENTS FOLLOWING GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Council tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council has already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the Council is now reconsidering that figure following today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175 million to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The Council’s Lead Member Resources, Councillor Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government. Both the Council and the Board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time, and we have been pressing the Government to rethink its position. We are delighted that the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for Council tenants. I have instructed officers to assess the revised position following this afternoon’s announcement with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that Council tenants can benefit. We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”

The Council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy. This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As Council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full Council.

Now compare this to the article below that appeared in the The Labour Gazetteer, formerly known as the Shields Gazette. The differences between the 2 articles have been highlighted in red and amount to a change of title, the addition of 8 words and the removal of 2 others.

TENANTS IN LINE FOR RENT CUTS

COUNCIL house tenants in South Tyneside could be set for a major reduction in next year’s rent increase after the Government announced a new package of financial support for local authorities.

South Tyneside Council had already agreed a 6.84 per cent rise in rents for 2009/10, in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring guidelines.

But the council is now reconsidering that figure after today’s Government decision to slash its average guideline rent increase for 2009/10 from 6.2 per cent to 3.1 per cent.

The Government is providing up to £175m to local authorities in England in an effort to encourage councils to reduce the amount tenants would have to pay for the coming year.

The council’s lead member for resources, Coun Ed Malcolm, said: “This is welcome news from the Government.

“Both the council and the board of South Tyneside Homes wrote to the Government at the turn of the year to express our concerns that their average guideline rent increase was above what most people could afford at this difficult time.

“We have been pressing the Government to rethink its position, and we are delighted the Government has listened to our calls, and responded.

“We are keen to provide real help now for council tenants.

“I have instructed officers to assess the revised position after this announcement, with a view to making recommendations that will ensure that council tenants can benefit.

“We are aware that tenants have already received letters outlining next year’s rent increase, and will be contacting them again as soon as we are in a position to do so.”
 
The council’s existing rent increase of 6.84 per cent was agreed in accordance with the Government’s rent restructuring policy.
 
This policy aims to bring the amount council tenants pay into line with people living in properties managed by other registered social landlords, such as housing associations.

As council rents in South Tyneside are historically low, rent increases are often slightly higher than the Government’s guideline in order to close the gap with rents charged by other landlords.

Any change to the increase in rents for 2009/10 would have to be agreed by full council, at a meeting on March 26.
Well done Paul Myles Kelly, another worthwhile piece of investigative journalism worthy of your profession the Gazette.
19
Feb
09

April Fool

'Mr Dumpy the sauasge roll loving cretin'

'Mr Dumpy the sausage roll loving cretin'

When Mr Monkey read this shite CLICK HERE about the editor of the Gazette, Papa John Szymanski, aka Mr Dumpy, the first thing he did was check the date; it wasn’t April 1st was it?

Mr Monkey’s not sure what the region’s editors were thinking of when they ‘appointed’ this sausage roll loving cretin as the chair of the Northern region of the Society of Editors, although he’s now been told by an insider working for the Trinity Mirror group that Papa John was the only twat to put himself forward. 

No wonder the sour faced cunt with five chins got the job!

Apparently when Papa John accepted the post he was given a ceremonial miner’s lamp so he can find his way further up Iain Malcolm’s arse and he promptly embarrassed himself by trying to eat it – he thought it was some kind of novelty sausage roll.

During his acceptance speech, Papa John read out a statement from his paymaster Iain Malcolm said,

“I am honoured to accept this position in what is a challenging time for the media. A free Press is essential to any democracy and I will strive to ensure the Society does its utmost to protect the freedom of all sectors of the media to report on behalf of the public.”

What he meant to say was,

“I am honoured to accept this position on behalf of my paymaster councillor Iain Malcolm, the leader of South Tyneside Council in what is a challenging time for him as the 2010 elections approach. The Press must be at the beck and call of it’s paymasters and democracy means nothing unless we do as we are told. I will strive to ensure the Society does its utmost to protect Labour in the North East and will ensure all sectors of the media only report the news our paymasters want us to as we cannot afford to tell the public the truth”.

Mr Monkey has been told that the Society recognises the universal right to freedom of expression, the importance of the vitality of the news media in a democratic society, and the promotion of Press and broadcasting freedom and the public right to know.

But all this is about to change under the leadership of Iain Malcolm Mr Dumpy, aka Papa John Szymanski especially if the Gazette is anything to go by.

08
Feb
09

Monkey Clip

This week’s Monkey Clip is dedicated to the Fat Cats in the council’s press office who thought it would be a good idea to tell us what a wonderful job the council had done gritting the roads.

Mr Monkey reckons these fuckwits are probably planning a ‘scoop’ sometime next week about where the council gets it’s salt – don’t bother, Mr Monkey has saved you the job and he did at no cost to the public.

07
Feb
09

Council’s Press Office Takes The Biscuit

Mr Monkey thought he was seeing things when he read this CLICK HERE council press release about gritting the borough’s roads and paths when it snowed.

This chimp appreciates that South Tyneside council loves nothing better than spin and media manipulation but this latest example of fuckwit journalism by a bunch of failed journalists really does take the piss biscuit.

It appears that those wankers in the council’s press office are once again insulting our intelligence by spinning the public a tale about what a wonderful job the council’s gritting teams have done.

Well perhaps it’s time to remind the fuckwits in the press office that that’s what they’re paid to do and with all the modern advance weather warning systems it hardly takes a genius to work out when the roads need gritting – the public expect nothing less given how much money they’re forced to pay in to the council’s coffer each year.

As for the council’s press office, is’nt time you did something to justify your fat cat salaries? So how about starting with something novel like telling the truth as it is.